It's One Point Less Than Bobby Scales BA, If You Really Must Know!!! And, Yes, I Know That Is Too High!!!!!

Okay, before I do anything else, let me take a minute to thank all of you for making the return of the Random Thoughts a success. As most of you know, I have always enjoyed writing it and have been led to believe that you enjoy reading it. So, if you like the RT, please be sure to pass on the word to any one else who may be interested and please be sure to sign on as a "Follower" if you have not already done so.

I also want to thank those of you who take the time out to comment. Frankly, I do not know why I cannot get more of you to do so, but c'est la vie. The only thing I do ask is that if you do comment, please let me know who you are. For example, I am very happy to see that "Anonymous" wants to do whatever it takes to ensure that I am not the next Darryl Kile or Hank Gathers, but it is awfully tough for me to list you as my primary emergency contact and grant you power of attorney if I do not know who the heck you are. I certainly appreciate the fact that you are reading the Random Thoughts, but since we already have "thewife," "theson," "thedaughter," "theplayertobenamedlater," "thedog," "thecat," "theothercat," "therobertoclementeautographedbaseball," and "thesavedbythevbellboxset," I have no choice but to refer to you as "themedicalstalker," if you do not identify yourself!!! Thanks.

Anyway, Cubs lost. The bottom line is they scored fewer times than James Bond on an average weekend night, so let's talk about other things...

* I was happy to see the Magic pull out a win in Game 3 of the NBA Finals as I hate Phil, Kobe and the Lakers. That said, I remain convinced that the Lakers are your 2008-09 NBA champions. Now we all know that the champion gets the Larry O'Brien Trophy, but what do they give the runner-up. A year's supply of Rice-A-Roni? A copy of the home game? A better luck next time card?

Let's hope for Stan Van Gundy's sake, they give the coach of the losing team a gift card to some menswear store so he can expand his wardrobe. I really don't care if the card is to Macy's or The Men's Wearhouse or Elton John's Costume Emporium or The Michael Vick's Furrier and Orange Jump Suit Habadashery, as long as it is not to the Mike Brey and Lon Kruger House of Fashion.

* I suppose, at the end of the day, it really does not matter, at least not in the off-season. After all, I'm going to assume that he spends most of his time on the set wearing a robe and smoking a pipe. Besides the extras from Zack and Miri Make a Porno are really not that into clothes.

* Reason #1,875 Why I Sometimes Hate Sports Radio: Bill Walton was interviewed on Mike & Mike this morning. He criticized Dwight Howard and the Magic by saying something along the lines of "With the Lakers collapsing on Howard, the Magic players need to make hard cuts so Dwight can make creative passes for good shots. Right now, he is passing the ball out for open three-point shots which the Magic are capable of making." Huh?

Walton's comments may be nonsensical, but the bigger problem is that Golic and Greenberg spent the next twenty minutes talking about Bill's "phenomenol breakdown." In fact, I haven't heard them gush that much since Greenie's book sold it's 35th copy and Golic's son caught a pass for three-yards. The bottom line is we have yet another example of why your wife and the rest of us do think you are an idiot and conclusive proof that Walton continues to mistake the LSD packets for Sweet-N-Low when making his morning coffee.

* The Bears are apparently one of three teams interested in signing Plaxico Burress, with the other two identified as the Jets and Buccaneers. I find this hard to believe. I mean, couldn't the football teams at the Fox River State and Louisiana Cold Mountain Penitentiaries use a 6'5 wide receiver?* (Just for the record, given the current state of the WR corps, I say signing Plaxico is not the worst thing the Bears could do. Just be sure to bring along Alonzo Spellman's old attorney).

* Bartolo Colon was placed on the DL with swelling in his knee. Swelling? My question is, given his 452 pound frame, how do they know? Isn't that like Marlee Matlin complaining that things sound muffled or the Pinball Wizard claiming that his voice sounds scratchy? I have a feeling Jerry Reinsdorf is using an old Bulls' favorite, the old "Joe Kleine or James Edwards is having back problems" trick again.

* First Peavy, then Oswalt and Jerome Williams and now Shingo Takatsu? Yes, Sox fans, it's true. After seeing a guy in a Mike Sirotka jersey lurking around the stuffed Pikachu-making machine, Takatsu issued a statement that he also will not accept a trade to the White Sox. It turns out that Tadahito Iguchi is going to take a job clearing tables at Hideki Irabu's Fat, Lazy Toad Bar and Grill, leaving the Vice President of Ripping Off the American Public With Stupid Characters position open at Pokemon Inc, and you know that Shingo has had his eye on that for a while.

* Accused of having violated NCAA rules by paying $1,000 to one of O.J. Mayo's handlers, Tim Floyd resigned as USC's basketball coach. It ain't so easy when you aren't just handled superstar talents like Bryce Drew and Rusty LaRue, huh?

Now, keep in mind that $1,000 is really not that much money. After all, had Floyd still been the coach at Iowa State, he probably would have had to give Butch McRae a bag of cash, Neon Boudreaux a Lexus and Ricky Roe a tractor. But, wouldn't it have made more sense for Floyd to have taken better advantage of the inherent benefits at a school like USC and relied on the tried and true method of getting the cheerleaders drunk during O.J.'s visitation weekend? Or is that just co-ex Iowa State coach Larry Eustachy's thing?

* * Finally, I can understand people who do not like to stop. I mean, there is nothing worse than having a hankering for a Quarter Pounder and large fries only to pull-up to the drive thru and have to come up to a complete stop thanks to the idiot in front of you who has no idea what he wants even though he has been staring at the menu board for the last twenty minutes (sheesh dude. Have you spent the last twenty years living with Brooke Shields and Christopher Adkins in the South Pacific? -- Of course, I suppose it would have at least given Brooke a option other than incest, huh? -- It's frickin' McDonald's. It isn't Parvati Patel's Pita Pit where you may not already be familiar with the seven flavors of falafel). Look, I don't like stopping either. I won't stopping draggin your heart around, I have no plans to stop in the name of love, and I won't even stop when you get enough.* But, I do not care how much you hate stopping, if I ever get into an elevator and you refuse to let me press the button for my floor, I'm knocking you the hell over.

* Pop Culture Trivia Question of the Day: What movies/ TV shows are referenced as possible landing spots for Plaxico and what three musical artists sang the three songs referenced?

** Please be sure to vote in the new poll!!!!!