Go Kane County Cougars!!!

* Jake Peavy said "no." Roy Oswalt said "uh uh." Even Jack McDowell apparently told the White Sox that he is more than happy pretending he is Billy Corgan, thank you very much. Yet, you have to give Kenny Williams credit. Even after being rejected by Peavy, Oswalt and Peretz Bernstein*, he still got his man, trading Lance Broadway to the Mets for Ramon Castro.

Now, trading a former first round draft pick for a 33-year old, career backup catcher may seem to make as much sense as replacing Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa with Aaron freakin' Miles and Kevin freakin' Greeg, but you really have to look below the surface to understand that this move is not like giving $30 million dollars to a guy who is more likely to suffer from a yeast infection than he is to drive in a key run (does anyone else see the irony that the Milton Bradley toy company is responsible for games titled "Easy Money" and "Operation?"). You see, A.J. Pierzynski may be decent with the bat, but the last base runner he threw out was when he nailed Paul Konerko in an intersquad game and Paulie Walnuts was carrying Jayson Nix on his back. And Jayson Nix was playing a piano.

Heck, I think Ron Santo may have once stolen a base on Pierzynski in a summer charity softball game.

So, yes, the Sox are still stuck with the same starting rotation, but at least they got their backup catcher.

Besides, you really cannot blame Kenny given that his options were terribly limited. After all, Robbie Alomar was too busy teaching the art of the perfect loogie to kids in the D.R. and Carl Everett is having too much fun digging for dinosaur bones, writing books on parenting and hanging with John Rocker. If nothing else, give Kenny a trophy for trying something...

* Oh, I guess I put it off long enough by talking about what will likely go down as the most significant in-season move since the Cubs aquired missing piece David Weathers for Reuben Quevedo at the 2001 trading deadline (snicker...). Should we talk about last night's Cubs' disaster? It is hard not to feel really bad for Randy Wells who pitched his heart out. Talk about assuming victory was in hand. Randy had to feel like Mike McDermott when he realized that Teddy KGB did not have spades.

My question is, "why in the world did Lou take him out after throwing only 83 pitches? I did not watch the game closely, but I could have sworn that it said "WELLS" on the back of his jersey and not "PRIOR" or "HARDEN." This also begs the question about whether Lou has been watching the same bullpen as the rest of us or whether he spent the off season squirreling around the pipes in the clubhouse and found the stash that Kyle Farnsworth left behind. Perhaps, he was planning on bringing Wells back on short rest to start game four...

* The reports on Aramis are not good and let me first to question whether it really matters given the... yup, you guessed it... bullpen. The team keeps claiming that their goal is to "keep their head above water" until he returns, but unless the water that they are keeping their head above is the magical pixie lake where you can pluck a glowing fairy week that will magically transform Aaron Heilman, David Patton and Gregg into Mariano Rivera, Trevor Hoffman and Ricky Vaughan, it is simply not going to matter. Sometimes, you have to take a pass on clever anaologies, jokes and hilarious quips and just come right out an say it like it is. This bullpen sucks.

* Heck, at this point, I wouldn't pass up a Peruvian Mediocrity weed that would transform Heilman into Rick Auguilera. Either that, or sign the ghost of Rod Beck. After all, the Farns' former stash is getting a bit low.

* Bobby Scales is a nice story. I get it. But, you know what? The world is full of nice stories. Bobby Brady finally got his chance to prove that he was not a loser, but still could not eat more ice cream than the fat kid on the Cartoon King Show. Some frumpy woman went from a Scottish potato farm to the main stage on Britian's Got Talent, but still lost to a bunch of MC Hammer wanna-be's. Romeo and Juliet's blossoming love survived despite the fact that their families got along about as well as the T-Birds and Craterface's gang of thugs, but in the end they both would up dead. Nice stories are just that... nice stories. Ultimately, you are going to find yourself watching Friday the 13th Part 78 on TBS and Bobby is going to find himself back in the cornfield. The time is now or had nobody else noticed that his average is down to a Thing Two-esque .234.

* The Cubs actually got the lead-off hitter on in the top of the 10th inning. Of course, Mike Fontenot's single set the table for Scales and Andres Blanco, which is really all you need to know about the current state of the Cubs. This is a little like saving all of your money until the end of the celebrity date auction only to find out that Megan Fox had already been chosen and the only two women remaining are Rosie O'Donnell and the aforementioned frumpy potato farmer.

* Two walks, a hit-by-pitched ball, an error, a dropped-third strike, and a two-out game tying home run. Now THAT is all you really need to know about the Cubs.

* Carlos Zambrano apparently missed the team flight to Atlanta. Great. The big question is why. No, he was not busy e-mailing his relatives in Venezuela. No, he was not perfecting the art of breaking a bat over one's knees. No, he was not signing a endorsement contract with Gatorade competitor "All Sport." And, no, he did not ask Derrick Rose to take the flight for him.

* Finally, a hearty thank you to those of you who have taken the time to comment on the Random Thoughts. That said, if you would let me know who you are, I would greatly appreciate it. After all, I have a hard time believing that Hawk Harrelson is reading this blog and, while I appreciate "Anonymous'" concern for my health and enjoyment of my writing, it is awfully hard to send you copy of my medical records without knowing who you are...

Have a good night. Let's all say a prayer that Lilly goes five strong and then it rains.

* Pop Culture Trivia Question: Who is Peretz Bernstein?