Like most men, I marvel at the unexplainable mystery that is Hugh Hefner. Most men will admit that while we are perfectly happy and satisifed with our lives, living Hef's life for a day would not be such a bad thing. Well, this morning I was introduced to a new generation of "life ain't too bad" individuals. Say hello to brothers Gavin and Joe Maloof.
Now, I have known for year that the Maloof brothers own the Sacramento Kings, as well as the ultra-hip Palms Hotel and Casino in Vegas. While the Kings continue to wallow this year in at-best mediocrity, the Palms has become red hot...and is only getting hotter. Last October, the Maloofs announced plans to develop a "fantasy tower" at the Palms complete with what is to be known as the "Hardwood Suite." The 10,000 square foot, two-level mega-suite comes complete with an indoor basketball court, locker rooms, personalized team jerseys, and, of course, a fully stocked bar. Impressive? Absolutely...but with all of the glitz and one-upsmanship in Vegas, who is really surprised?
But the basketball court, jerseys and unlimited supply of Jack Daniels, Grey Goose and Amstel (I wonder if you can get a Milwaukee's Best?), does not tell the whole story. In an interview with Joe Maloof on Mike and Mike this morning, Joe announced that included in the price of the suite is a team of...yep, you guessed it...CHEERLEADERS (provided at one's beck and call, no less)! Okay, I understand that it IS Vegas that we are talking about...but c'mon. If you are a red-blooded american male and you claim that you did not smile when you read about the extra-special added feature, what can I say...you are lying.
Like, I said, "life ain't too bad" when you are a Maloof.
Anyway, moving on to the real world, I have a confession to make. The fact that Jerome Bettis is going home to play in the Superbowl does not interest me in the least. Simply stated...who cares? If this is the best story that the media can come up with, it is going to be a loooooooong week leading up to the game. Hello, controversy, anyone? Can't someone dig up anything interesting? Can't ESPN do an in-depth feature on how Big Ben secretly does not really have a fat, fat head and doesn't really have an oversized decal of himself (or Torry Holt or Chad Johnson or Priest Holmes) on his living room wall.
Anyway, I know that I promised you a discussion of the RPI and the "perceptions" (also known as the AP and ESPN rankings) , but, alas, I simply do not have the time (spending all afternoon trying to recover my lost I-Pod files...thanks Lori!). I promise that I will write about this all-important (that's sarcasm folks) issue in a future post. Disappointed as I am sure that you all are, at least this way you have something to look forward to as you trudge forward in your boring non-Maloof-esque daily lives.
*** I will be traveling all next week and, therefore, will likely not have the ability to write more than a few sentences a day. I will, however, post my prediction for the Superbowl next Friday. I figure that it is probably worth waiting to make a prediction as it is likely that Matt Hasselbeck has an appointment with some Rogaine or Minoxidil this week and we all know how that worked out for Homer Simpson.
Friday, January 27, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
"Impressively" Bad
Oral communication certainly offers certain advantages over written communication and precisely three days into my blogging career, I am reminded that "publishing" one's thoughts can be a dangerous endeavor. Thankfully the LSU Tigers allowed me to retain some sense of credibility by routing Georgia by 29 points. As you can see below, LSU is one of the teams with whom I am "impressed." How did my other primary "impressive" team perform? North Carolina State got shellacked at home by a mediocre Seton Hall team. Impressive indeed!
Of course, those teams that were judged to be "not very good" and that "suck" apparently were motivated by my disrespect. "Not very good" Maryland went on the road and beat Georgia Tech, while "suck" UIC won a conference road game against Wright State, and "suck" Louisville routed Cincinnati. You know, some writers want their writing to send a message. The only message that my post yesterday sent is that I may not know quite as much about college basketball as I think. Either that or parity has completely take over. For the sake of my own sanity and self-esteem, I am choosing the latter.
Hey Sparty, I warned you!!! Go on the road in the Big Ten and deal with the consequences. Michigan State shot 50% from the field, Michigan shot 42%. MSU shot 43% from the arc, Michigan connected at a 31% clip. Rebounds, steals and turnovers were all close. So how did the Wolverines manage to pull off a huge tournament-resume building victory? Bring up the box score and look no further than the columns headed FT and PF. MSU was whistled for 26 fouls, Michigan only 13. The Spartans shot 10 free throws while the Maize and Blue started having their mail delivered to the charity stripe (34 attempts!!). The game, of course, was in....drum roll please...Ann Arbor!
Finally, (a much longer post will be coming tomorrow) a quick mention of something that has lingered in the back of my mind since the college football bowl season. I was incredibly impressed at the NCAA's handling of instant replay during the bowl season. Amazingly, most calls were reviewed and a final determination was made within 20 seconds. Why does it continue to take the NFL officials forever to review a play when college refs can complete the task so quickly? I am certainly not a big fan of college football, but the NFL could certainly learn something from its "minor league."
Of course, those teams that were judged to be "not very good" and that "suck" apparently were motivated by my disrespect. "Not very good" Maryland went on the road and beat Georgia Tech, while "suck" UIC won a conference road game against Wright State, and "suck" Louisville routed Cincinnati. You know, some writers want their writing to send a message. The only message that my post yesterday sent is that I may not know quite as much about college basketball as I think. Either that or parity has completely take over. For the sake of my own sanity and self-esteem, I am choosing the latter.
Hey Sparty, I warned you!!! Go on the road in the Big Ten and deal with the consequences. Michigan State shot 50% from the field, Michigan shot 42%. MSU shot 43% from the arc, Michigan connected at a 31% clip. Rebounds, steals and turnovers were all close. So how did the Wolverines manage to pull off a huge tournament-resume building victory? Bring up the box score and look no further than the columns headed FT and PF. MSU was whistled for 26 fouls, Michigan only 13. The Spartans shot 10 free throws while the Maize and Blue started having their mail delivered to the charity stripe (34 attempts!!). The game, of course, was in....drum roll please...Ann Arbor!
Finally, (a much longer post will be coming tomorrow) a quick mention of something that has lingered in the back of my mind since the college football bowl season. I was incredibly impressed at the NCAA's handling of instant replay during the bowl season. Amazingly, most calls were reviewed and a final determination was made within 20 seconds. Why does it continue to take the NFL officials forever to review a play when college refs can complete the task so quickly? I am certainly not a big fan of college football, but the NFL could certainly learn something from its "minor league."
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The Stars of the Show?
I suppose that the best way to start off my first weekly post dedicated to the greatest of all sports, college basketball, is to remind everyone that there are precisely 42 days, 2 hours and 40 minutes until the NCAA Selection Show (as I write this sentence). Let the countdown to the Madness begin!!!
Now there are a number of different topics that I would like to talk about and my "short list" numbered about 135 as I drove home from work yesterday thinking about the first issue that I should discuss (for the record, when driving home, there were precisely 42 days, 23 hours and 52 minutes until we learn that Notre Dame will once again have a disappointing March). My thoughts on the RPI and the "perceptions" (more commonly known as the AP and ESPN rankings), my expectations for the final 42 days of the season, a discussion of the tournament selection process (as I understand it) were all considered and will likely eventually be covered as we move toward the greatest three weeks of the year. But after watching the Indiana-Iowa game last night, my mission became clear...it is time for SOMEONE to stand up and need to expouse the truth...the officiating in college basketball is atrocious.
BIAS ALERT: Now before I jump on my soapbox, let me remind you that I come to this discussion with a recognized and admitted bias...I am an Indiana graduate and a huge Hoosier fan. That said, I truly believe that I can be honest and impartial in my assessment. Why did IU drop a 73-60 decision to the Hawkeyes last night? Simply stated, Indiana lost because they were playing an excellent team on the road, played without senior leader and third-scoring option Marshall Strickland, shot a woeful 38%, and the majority of the team played as if they would rather be in a dentist's chair. That said, let me focus on one of the aforementioned factors..."playing a good team on the road." (Those of you who could care less about IU, please do not fret, this is not going to be exclusively about the IU game...I have a much broader point to make)
Let's see...how do I put this mildly...the officiating in last night's game SUCKED. And that is being generous. The foul totals and free-throw discrepancy do not tell the whole story, although the number are quite telling (total fouls: IU 26, Iowa 10 -- that's right 10!; free throws: IU shot 8, Iowa shot 30). The bigger problem concerned inconsistent enforcement of traveling, three-seconds, stepping on the baseline -- and you can bet on which end of the floor the calls were more often than not made. The biggest problem? Officials who made calls despite being woefully out of position. It is amazing that Mike Davis did not lose his mind ala Kentucky circa 2003. I can only imagine what would have happened if the big fat guy in the red sweater was still patrolling the sidelines instead of running a Red Raider team into the ground in Lubbock. Of course, given that it is no longer 1978, if the big fat guy in the red sweater was still coaching at IU, nobody would really care how bad the officiating is...I mean what really is the difference between ending the season with a whopping three conference wins or only two? I'll have to check with Kevin andTom on that.
And now on to the bigger point. I understand that home teams get the majority of the calls. Heck, IU is the beneficiary of favorable officials as much, if not more, than most teams (see, I can be impartial and honest!). This begs the question...why? And it truly is an NCAA-wide pandemic or epidemic or whatever -emic is the correct choice of words (does anyone truly know?). It has gotten so bad that often times the games become predictable. Truly astute college basketball watchers know when an offensive foul is going to be called before the opponent even brings the ball up the floor. The situation is always the same...home team goes on little run, crowd gets crazy, home team makes big basket, crowd goes even more crazy...next opponent's possession...offensive foul!!! Guaranteed. Note: the above does NOT apply to DePaul, any SWAC team or Purdue against anyone except Indiana. You actually have to have people in the seats for the situation to play out.
Simply seeing the offensive foul called angers me, but my blood really begins to boil whent he referee makes the call by acting as if he is the featured table-top dancer at Studio 54. Arms flailing wildly, the ref runs halfway across the court and signals the foul. "Hey look at me. I called a foul on {opponent}! Love me! Worship me! Give me an Iowa sweatshirt!!!!" I think that most of you have seen this situation and know exactly what I am talkikng about.
The bottom line. It is the ref's job to call the game stright down the middle. It is not his job to placate the home fans, ensure parity, or fatten his wallet (oh jeez, that would open a can of worms). It is also not the ref's job to be the star of the show. Too many referees need to be reminded of this fact. Right now, they are failing. And it is too bad because college basketball is a great game and the performance of the refs is often a black eye.
Some random notes from around the country:
* How can any mention of college basketball referees not mention the travesty that occured in Birmingham, Alabama over the weekend. For those of you who may have missed it...Houston coach Tom Penders was assessed a technical foul after passing out on the sidelines. The referee thought that Penders was mocking a call (yes, boys and girls, Houston was on the road). Penders was administered oxygen and carried off the floor. Is it understandable that the referee thought that Penders had overreated to what he perceived to be a bad call? Yes. Is it worthy of a technical foul? Sure. Was the referee a complete and utter moron for upholding the technical foul after he learned that Penders had, in fact, collapsed? I'll let you be the judge.
* Teams that I am impressed with (besides the obvious...): North Carolina State, LSU, Ohio State, Northern Iowa,
* Teams that the jury is still out on: Pittsburgh, North Carolina, Michigan, Iowa State, George Washington
* Teams that, truth be told, are not very good (right now): Oklahoma, anyone in the Pac 10 not named Washington or UCLA, Maryland (and soon to get worse with the loss of Chris McCray)
* Teams that suck: Wake Forest, UIC, Louisville
* Finally, Georgetown needed last night's victory over the Domers for their NCAA resume more than most would care to admit. I was as impressed as anybody with Georgetown's defeat of Duke last Saturday, but had to shake my head at the overreaction by most of the college basketball world. In most tournament projections, Georgetown has ridden one victory (albeit extremely impressive) from the NIT to a projected NCAA team often in the 7-9 seed range. Truth be told, even with the victory, Georgetown did NOT have an NCAA profile. Now I am not dumb enough to think that they would not get an invitation under such a scenario, but Georgetown's situation highlights the importance of paying attention to more than the raw numbers when projecting NCAA participants. On Friday (yes, a special college basketball column coming on Friday!), I will expound on this issue.
Now there are a number of different topics that I would like to talk about and my "short list" numbered about 135 as I drove home from work yesterday thinking about the first issue that I should discuss (for the record, when driving home, there were precisely 42 days, 23 hours and 52 minutes until we learn that Notre Dame will once again have a disappointing March). My thoughts on the RPI and the "perceptions" (more commonly known as the AP and ESPN rankings), my expectations for the final 42 days of the season, a discussion of the tournament selection process (as I understand it) were all considered and will likely eventually be covered as we move toward the greatest three weeks of the year. But after watching the Indiana-Iowa game last night, my mission became clear...it is time for SOMEONE to stand up and need to expouse the truth...the officiating in college basketball is atrocious.
BIAS ALERT: Now before I jump on my soapbox, let me remind you that I come to this discussion with a recognized and admitted bias...I am an Indiana graduate and a huge Hoosier fan. That said, I truly believe that I can be honest and impartial in my assessment. Why did IU drop a 73-60 decision to the Hawkeyes last night? Simply stated, Indiana lost because they were playing an excellent team on the road, played without senior leader and third-scoring option Marshall Strickland, shot a woeful 38%, and the majority of the team played as if they would rather be in a dentist's chair. That said, let me focus on one of the aforementioned factors..."playing a good team on the road." (Those of you who could care less about IU, please do not fret, this is not going to be exclusively about the IU game...I have a much broader point to make)
Let's see...how do I put this mildly...the officiating in last night's game SUCKED. And that is being generous. The foul totals and free-throw discrepancy do not tell the whole story, although the number are quite telling (total fouls: IU 26, Iowa 10 -- that's right 10!; free throws: IU shot 8, Iowa shot 30). The bigger problem concerned inconsistent enforcement of traveling, three-seconds, stepping on the baseline -- and you can bet on which end of the floor the calls were more often than not made. The biggest problem? Officials who made calls despite being woefully out of position. It is amazing that Mike Davis did not lose his mind ala Kentucky circa 2003. I can only imagine what would have happened if the big fat guy in the red sweater was still patrolling the sidelines instead of running a Red Raider team into the ground in Lubbock. Of course, given that it is no longer 1978, if the big fat guy in the red sweater was still coaching at IU, nobody would really care how bad the officiating is...I mean what really is the difference between ending the season with a whopping three conference wins or only two? I'll have to check with Kevin andTom on that.
And now on to the bigger point. I understand that home teams get the majority of the calls. Heck, IU is the beneficiary of favorable officials as much, if not more, than most teams (see, I can be impartial and honest!). This begs the question...why? And it truly is an NCAA-wide pandemic or epidemic or whatever -emic is the correct choice of words (does anyone truly know?). It has gotten so bad that often times the games become predictable. Truly astute college basketball watchers know when an offensive foul is going to be called before the opponent even brings the ball up the floor. The situation is always the same...home team goes on little run, crowd gets crazy, home team makes big basket, crowd goes even more crazy...next opponent's possession...offensive foul!!! Guaranteed. Note: the above does NOT apply to DePaul, any SWAC team or Purdue against anyone except Indiana. You actually have to have people in the seats for the situation to play out.
Simply seeing the offensive foul called angers me, but my blood really begins to boil whent he referee makes the call by acting as if he is the featured table-top dancer at Studio 54. Arms flailing wildly, the ref runs halfway across the court and signals the foul. "Hey look at me. I called a foul on {opponent}! Love me! Worship me! Give me an Iowa sweatshirt!!!!" I think that most of you have seen this situation and know exactly what I am talkikng about.
The bottom line. It is the ref's job to call the game stright down the middle. It is not his job to placate the home fans, ensure parity, or fatten his wallet (oh jeez, that would open a can of worms). It is also not the ref's job to be the star of the show. Too many referees need to be reminded of this fact. Right now, they are failing. And it is too bad because college basketball is a great game and the performance of the refs is often a black eye.
Some random notes from around the country:
* How can any mention of college basketball referees not mention the travesty that occured in Birmingham, Alabama over the weekend. For those of you who may have missed it...Houston coach Tom Penders was assessed a technical foul after passing out on the sidelines. The referee thought that Penders was mocking a call (yes, boys and girls, Houston was on the road). Penders was administered oxygen and carried off the floor. Is it understandable that the referee thought that Penders had overreated to what he perceived to be a bad call? Yes. Is it worthy of a technical foul? Sure. Was the referee a complete and utter moron for upholding the technical foul after he learned that Penders had, in fact, collapsed? I'll let you be the judge.
* Teams that I am impressed with (besides the obvious...): North Carolina State, LSU, Ohio State, Northern Iowa,
* Teams that the jury is still out on: Pittsburgh, North Carolina, Michigan, Iowa State, George Washington
* Teams that, truth be told, are not very good (right now): Oklahoma, anyone in the Pac 10 not named Washington or UCLA, Maryland (and soon to get worse with the loss of Chris McCray)
* Teams that suck: Wake Forest, UIC, Louisville
* Finally, Georgetown needed last night's victory over the Domers for their NCAA resume more than most would care to admit. I was as impressed as anybody with Georgetown's defeat of Duke last Saturday, but had to shake my head at the overreaction by most of the college basketball world. In most tournament projections, Georgetown has ridden one victory (albeit extremely impressive) from the NIT to a projected NCAA team often in the 7-9 seed range. Truth be told, even with the victory, Georgetown did NOT have an NCAA profile. Now I am not dumb enough to think that they would not get an invitation under such a scenario, but Georgetown's situation highlights the importance of paying attention to more than the raw numbers when projecting NCAA participants. On Friday (yes, a special college basketball column coming on Friday!), I will expound on this issue.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I'm Back...
Oh boy...where to start? It has been so long since you were last given access to my always keen and insightful "random thoughts" on sports, that is truly is difficult to know where to begin. Oh what the heck...I'll jump right in!
Will somebody please explain to me why Jake Delhomme could not have played like THAT against the Bears in the divisional round. Yes, I recognize that Seattle's defense did a tremendous job taking Steve Smith out of the game and that Delhomme's performance at Soldier Field was partly due to Lovie and Chico's insistence on staying with the schemes that worked all season long (we'll pretend that the Cincinnati game never happened), but Delhomme was borderline Ortonesque (or Burrisesque or McNownable or Mirer-suck-a-riffic.. go ahead pick almost any Bear QB of the last 10 years and play along, its fun!) in the Emerald City on Championship Sunday. Delhomme looked like a world-beater one week and a third-stringer the next. Tough to explain.
That said, I found it difficult to understand why so many so-called experts were jumping on the Carolina bandwagon all week. While I admit that I fell victim to the Steve-Smith-is-Michael-Vick-and-Brett-Favre-rolled-into-one-absolutely-unstoppable-football-force disease for a brief period after watching him run circles against the Bears, many experts' continued insistence that Carolina would win the game was puzzling. Talk about limited options on offense! Nick Goings? Drew Carter? (Wasn't he in the Backstreet Boys?) Keary Colbert? Boy, it's really pick you poison when facing that lineup.
Now it is easy for me to claim two days after the game that I predicted that both Pittsburgh and Seattle would win their games. So easy, in fact, that I am going to go ahead and do it. It seemed all two obvious if you follow two simple rules: (1) never bet on a team with Jake Plummer behind center...this is an offshoot of the common baseball rule: never bet on a team with Shawn Estes pitching; and (2) the team with the solid QB, league MVP at running back, tremendous offensive line, and good defense that went 13-3 and is playing at home in the loudest stadium in the NFL is likely to win. Now don't go giving me too much credit for my ability to predict the future, I am the same oaf who predicted that the Bears would go 4-12. Whoops!
Speaking of Steve Smith, does anyone realize that he (2 games) had more receiving yards at Solider Field this year than Me-sin Me-hammed (8 games)? Of course, you do if you read the Sunday Chicago Tribune sports section or if your name is Tom Piscopo. Thanks Tom for that interesting nugget!
Steve Smith is also an infinitely better choice for a child's name than Me-sin Me-hammed. Think about it...do you desperately want to live vicariously through your sports-star son? One advantage may be to name him Steve Smith. It is not even sport-specific (hockey, basketball, and football) and you can spell is a number of different ways (Steve Smyth...hey, I didn't say that it guaranteed that you would be a good sports star). Looking for an alternative? How about Dee Brown (bad hair not included) Look, some of us have to do everything possible to ensure athletic success for our children. How do you think I go my jewish parents to accept the fact that we are raising my son catholic? "Look mom, if my son is going to be a whining annoying prima donna, I'd rather him be Terrell Owens than Drew Rosenhaus." For the record, I am also desperately trying to "make" him left-handed. The bottom line...look for Ryan Steve Smith Dee Brown Wagner to make his major league debut out of the New Texas (formally Iraq) bullpen in 2026.
One final word about the conference championship games. Now, I realize that it is cool to introduce quirky and interesting elements to recently built sports venues, but the end zone configuration in Seattle is just plain stupid. Hey look, it looks like a football...wow! In Chicago, we call that moronic and a horrible sacrifice of space where additional seats could have been placed. Paul Allen does not need the money, but what a perfect place for a Starbucks.
Today's random ex-Cub is Mick Kelleher and ex-Sox is Alan Bannister.
Speaking of the Cubs, they made great signing of Wade Miller for $1 million. If he fails to come back from injury, you did not risk much. If, however, he is able to come back, this is the type of sneaky move that wins championships. Of course, the Cubs still have not come close to the offseason success of the Sox. What do you mean they got Vazquez for a green Sox jersey, two tickets to a Bulls-Pacers game and a minor league 2B with a career batting average of .234? Any day now I expect to hear that Kenny has managed to pry Albert Pujols off the Cardinals roster for an empty bottle of champagne and the rights to Minnie Minoso. What kind of blackmail evidence does Williams have?
BTW, trading Corey Patterson may not have been a mistake...if they had actually gotten something. They didn't. You do the math.
Heading to work on Monday morning, I heard that the Chicago Blackhawks lost to the Minnesota Wild 3-2. Waiting for news like this is one of the reasons that I am willing to roll out of bed in the morning. I mean, c'mon...does news get any more important? To quote the old lady at the cocktail party in "Major League," "I didn't know they still had a team." I have yet to verify, however, whether they wear uniforms and everything.
So Kobe Bryant went off for 81 points (yeah sure Big Phil...sure you did not know how many points he had. What were you thinking of exciting new ways to build teepees during the first three quarters of the game or were you simply wondering what other unsuspecting owner's daughter you could seduce?) While some fans of Michael Jordan hate to see this kind of stuff, I really do not mind it. I just wish that it had not been such a horse's-behind that put up such numbers. It should have been an NBA player with class. You know, like Vince Carter. Strike that. Allen Iverson. No. Steve Franics. Please. You know what...the NBA sucks. Where have all of the Steve Kerrs and Jud Buechlers gone?
Finally, does anyone else feel like changing their insurance provider everytime they see the State Farm commercial with the little helmets. Man, that State Farm kicks the crap out of those poor other little helmets. Priceless.
What? No college basketball, you ask? Not to worry my friends, loved ones and Erdman (just want to see if you are paying attention). I hearby officially dub Wednesday as "College Basketball Day" from now until the Madness has begun.
Will somebody please explain to me why Jake Delhomme could not have played like THAT against the Bears in the divisional round. Yes, I recognize that Seattle's defense did a tremendous job taking Steve Smith out of the game and that Delhomme's performance at Soldier Field was partly due to Lovie and Chico's insistence on staying with the schemes that worked all season long (we'll pretend that the Cincinnati game never happened), but Delhomme was borderline Ortonesque (or Burrisesque or McNownable or Mirer-suck-a-riffic.. go ahead pick almost any Bear QB of the last 10 years and play along, its fun!) in the Emerald City on Championship Sunday. Delhomme looked like a world-beater one week and a third-stringer the next. Tough to explain.
That said, I found it difficult to understand why so many so-called experts were jumping on the Carolina bandwagon all week. While I admit that I fell victim to the Steve-Smith-is-Michael-Vick-and-Brett-Favre-rolled-into-one-absolutely-unstoppable-football-force disease for a brief period after watching him run circles against the Bears, many experts' continued insistence that Carolina would win the game was puzzling. Talk about limited options on offense! Nick Goings? Drew Carter? (Wasn't he in the Backstreet Boys?) Keary Colbert? Boy, it's really pick you poison when facing that lineup.
Now it is easy for me to claim two days after the game that I predicted that both Pittsburgh and Seattle would win their games. So easy, in fact, that I am going to go ahead and do it. It seemed all two obvious if you follow two simple rules: (1) never bet on a team with Jake Plummer behind center...this is an offshoot of the common baseball rule: never bet on a team with Shawn Estes pitching; and (2) the team with the solid QB, league MVP at running back, tremendous offensive line, and good defense that went 13-3 and is playing at home in the loudest stadium in the NFL is likely to win. Now don't go giving me too much credit for my ability to predict the future, I am the same oaf who predicted that the Bears would go 4-12. Whoops!
Speaking of Steve Smith, does anyone realize that he (2 games) had more receiving yards at Solider Field this year than Me-sin Me-hammed (8 games)? Of course, you do if you read the Sunday Chicago Tribune sports section or if your name is Tom Piscopo. Thanks Tom for that interesting nugget!
Steve Smith is also an infinitely better choice for a child's name than Me-sin Me-hammed. Think about it...do you desperately want to live vicariously through your sports-star son? One advantage may be to name him Steve Smith. It is not even sport-specific (hockey, basketball, and football) and you can spell is a number of different ways (Steve Smyth...hey, I didn't say that it guaranteed that you would be a good sports star). Looking for an alternative? How about Dee Brown (bad hair not included) Look, some of us have to do everything possible to ensure athletic success for our children. How do you think I go my jewish parents to accept the fact that we are raising my son catholic? "Look mom, if my son is going to be a whining annoying prima donna, I'd rather him be Terrell Owens than Drew Rosenhaus." For the record, I am also desperately trying to "make" him left-handed. The bottom line...look for Ryan Steve Smith Dee Brown Wagner to make his major league debut out of the New Texas (formally Iraq) bullpen in 2026.
One final word about the conference championship games. Now, I realize that it is cool to introduce quirky and interesting elements to recently built sports venues, but the end zone configuration in Seattle is just plain stupid. Hey look, it looks like a football...wow! In Chicago, we call that moronic and a horrible sacrifice of space where additional seats could have been placed. Paul Allen does not need the money, but what a perfect place for a Starbucks.
Today's random ex-Cub is Mick Kelleher and ex-Sox is Alan Bannister.
Speaking of the Cubs, they made great signing of Wade Miller for $1 million. If he fails to come back from injury, you did not risk much. If, however, he is able to come back, this is the type of sneaky move that wins championships. Of course, the Cubs still have not come close to the offseason success of the Sox. What do you mean they got Vazquez for a green Sox jersey, two tickets to a Bulls-Pacers game and a minor league 2B with a career batting average of .234? Any day now I expect to hear that Kenny has managed to pry Albert Pujols off the Cardinals roster for an empty bottle of champagne and the rights to Minnie Minoso. What kind of blackmail evidence does Williams have?
BTW, trading Corey Patterson may not have been a mistake...if they had actually gotten something. They didn't. You do the math.
Heading to work on Monday morning, I heard that the Chicago Blackhawks lost to the Minnesota Wild 3-2. Waiting for news like this is one of the reasons that I am willing to roll out of bed in the morning. I mean, c'mon...does news get any more important? To quote the old lady at the cocktail party in "Major League," "I didn't know they still had a team." I have yet to verify, however, whether they wear uniforms and everything.
So Kobe Bryant went off for 81 points (yeah sure Big Phil...sure you did not know how many points he had. What were you thinking of exciting new ways to build teepees during the first three quarters of the game or were you simply wondering what other unsuspecting owner's daughter you could seduce?) While some fans of Michael Jordan hate to see this kind of stuff, I really do not mind it. I just wish that it had not been such a horse's-behind that put up such numbers. It should have been an NBA player with class. You know, like Vince Carter. Strike that. Allen Iverson. No. Steve Franics. Please. You know what...the NBA sucks. Where have all of the Steve Kerrs and Jud Buechlers gone?
Finally, does anyone else feel like changing their insurance provider everytime they see the State Farm commercial with the little helmets. Man, that State Farm kicks the crap out of those poor other little helmets. Priceless.
What? No college basketball, you ask? Not to worry my friends, loved ones and Erdman (just want to see if you are paying attention). I hearby officially dub Wednesday as "College Basketball Day" from now until the Madness has begun.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Welcome to Dan's Random Thoughts
Welcome to Dan's Random Thoughts... I hope to "publish" my first post early next week.
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