Oh, To Be a Maloof...

Like most men, I marvel at the unexplainable mystery that is Hugh Hefner. Most men will admit that while we are perfectly happy and satisifed with our lives, living Hef's life for a day would not be such a bad thing. Well, this morning I was introduced to a new generation of "life ain't too bad" individuals. Say hello to brothers Gavin and Joe Maloof.

Now, I have known for year that the Maloof brothers own the Sacramento Kings, as well as the ultra-hip Palms Hotel and Casino in Vegas. While the Kings continue to wallow this year in at-best mediocrity, the Palms has become red hot...and is only getting hotter. Last October, the Maloofs announced plans to develop a "fantasy tower" at the Palms complete with what is to be known as the "Hardwood Suite." The 10,000 square foot, two-level mega-suite comes complete with an indoor basketball court, locker rooms, personalized team jerseys, and, of course, a fully stocked bar. Impressive? Absolutely...but with all of the glitz and one-upsmanship in Vegas, who is really surprised?

But the basketball court, jerseys and unlimited supply of Jack Daniels, Grey Goose and Amstel (I wonder if you can get a Milwaukee's Best?), does not tell the whole story. In an interview with Joe Maloof on Mike and Mike this morning, Joe announced that included in the price of the suite is a team of...yep, you guessed it...CHEERLEADERS (provided at one's beck and call, no less)! Okay, I understand that it IS Vegas that we are talking about...but c'mon. If you are a red-blooded american male and you claim that you did not smile when you read about the extra-special added feature, what can I say...you are lying.

Like, I said, "life ain't too bad" when you are a Maloof.

Anyway, moving on to the real world, I have a confession to make. The fact that Jerome Bettis is going home to play in the Superbowl does not interest me in the least. Simply stated...who cares? If this is the best story that the media can come up with, it is going to be a loooooooong week leading up to the game. Hello, controversy, anyone? Can't someone dig up anything interesting? Can't ESPN do an in-depth feature on how Big Ben secretly does not really have a fat, fat head and doesn't really have an oversized decal of himself (or Torry Holt or Chad Johnson or Priest Holmes) on his living room wall.

Anyway, I know that I promised you a discussion of the RPI and the "perceptions" (also known as the AP and ESPN rankings) , but, alas, I simply do not have the time (spending all afternoon trying to recover my lost I-Pod files...thanks Lori!). I promise that I will write about this all-important (that's sarcasm folks) issue in a future post. Disappointed as I am sure that you all are, at least this way you have something to look forward to as you trudge forward in your boring non-Maloof-esque daily lives.

*** I will be traveling all next week and, therefore, will likely not have the ability to write more than a few sentences a day. I will, however, post my prediction for the Superbowl next Friday. I figure that it is probably worth waiting to make a prediction as it is likely that Matt Hasselbeck has an appointment with some Rogaine or Minoxidil this week and we all know how that worked out for Homer Simpson.