You'd Rather Have Ed Lynch?

As you no doubt realize from my last two posts, I have received an amazing amount of mail in the last couple of weeks. Heck, I have received so much mail that I was not able to "publish" in the Random Thoughts all of the interesting letters and notes that I have received form the sports and entertainment community. For example, both Jessica Lange and Jessica Tandy recommended a senior's division of the "Jessica Games. " Jessica Hahn wrote and recommended some awfully kinky stuff that really should not be repeated in public (think Tammy Faye's makeup case, a bottle of Old Harper and a Sam Kinison bobble-head doll. Ohhh, I get chills just thinking about it!). Jessica Rabbit wrote too and suggested that we spend and evening at the "Ink and Paint Club," but the whole idea was just a little too creepy for my tastes.

One person who I did not receive a letter from is Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry. Now I do not know if he is too busy trying to convince potential suitors that Juan Pierre's .283 on-base percentage is a fluke and that the Cubs' centerfielder, therefore, is worth more in a trade than a rookie league backup catcher and a case of Snapple or simply too busy trying to figure out how to set his DVR to record tonight's Britney Spears tear-fest on NBC Dateline, but Jim simply hasn't written. And I wish he had.

You see, I am not like Random Thoughts commenter "drio" and a host of hundreds who flood the sports talk radio airwaves with cries of "Jim Hendry is baseball's answer to Charlie Casserly!" Now please do not get me wrong, Hendry certainly does not belong in the General Manager's Hall of Fame and he certainly is no Charlie Donovan (anyone who plucks Jake Taylor out of the Mexican League is alright with me), but Cubs' fans seem to forget that Hendry has done an awful lot of good things on the North Side of Chicago since he became GM in July 2002 and a few short months ago was considered one of the best in baseball.

Let's start by taking a look at the trades that Hendry has made. Derek Lee for Hee Seop, of course, was an absolute steal that would make even Winona Ryder smile. And then we have the famous Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton for Matt Bruback, Jose Hernandez and Bobby Hill trade. Yes, I know that Jose Hernandez set the Puerto Rico Winter Ball record for most home runs in a season with 20 in 1997-8 (What? Was Gopherball Glendon spending time in San Juan that winter?), Matt Bruback was recently named Employee of the Month at a Bowie, Maryland K-Mart and Bobby Hill showed a certain amount of talent when serving as the mascot for the Tom Landry Longhorns middle-school football team, but I still think Hendry got the better of that deal.

Oh, it was the other Bobby Hill that the Cubs traded? Well, last I checked that boy ain't right either and is presently out of the league.

Hendry is also responsible for the trade that Cubs fans were convinced was going to result in another deep playoff run in 2004. I can distinctly remember the excitement of learning that Hendry had somehow landed Nomah and some young kid who grew up in a home known only as The Burrow, for the sure-handed Alex Gonzalez (snicker), Brendan Harris and Francis Beltran. I was so excited I felt like Chief Chirpa and Wicket W. Warrick after Han, Chewie and the rest of the rebel troops defeated the Imperial forces on the forest moon of Endor. Now things certainly did not turn out the way that we all hoped, but they are not exactly planning construction of the Harris-Beltran-Gonzo wing in Cooperstown, either. Beltran, for one, seemingly forgot that he had been traded away from the Cubs and has missed the last two seasons recovering from arm problems. And that Weasley guy may be going through a rough patch right now, but I think we all agree he is a keeper (by the way, that is supposed to be a play on words that only "thewife" will probably understand -- and mayber "shabba dabba doo" if he is paying close enough attention and Tiffany if she is still reading despite the close of the Madness).

Any other trades worth mentioning? How about Tyson Barrett for Damian Miller? Barrett has a higher average, more home runs, more RBI and a better right cross. Steroid Sammy for S.H.H. and two stiffs? No, the Cubs did not get anything of value in return, but just getting Sammy and his boombox out of Chicago was its own reward. Kyle Farnsworth for Roberto Novoa? Novoa is cheaper and, thus far, nobody in the organization has had to come up with bail money.

And then we come to it...Kid Corey for (let's call it what it is) a pile of crap. Yes, in retrospect, this was a bad trade, but everyone who watched the Cubs over the last couple of seasons realized that Corey had to get out of Chicago to have any chance of success. Should the Cubs have gotten more? Yes. But, let's not forget that even the best general managers sometimes make colossal mistakes. Heck, even Jerry Krause traded Elton Brand for Tyson Chandler (ok, bad example) and highly regarded Oakland GM Billy Beane got fleeced by sending Tim Hudson to Atlanta for three guys who are either still in the minor leagued or have moved on to other teams, inlcuding Juan Cruz (a much better example).

So what about the signing of free agents? Let's take a close look at the 2005-06 off-season and start off by agreeing to forget about the already occupied positions -- closer, third base and first base (if you claim that you knew that D Lee was going to get injured, you are either Marty McFly, the Terminator, or Fletcher Reede before his son's birthday wish). Most people focus their criticism on Hendry's inability to sign a starting pitcher to protect the team in case Prior or Wood got injured. But, who precisely was Hendry supposed to sign? A look at last off-season's free agent starting pitcher options:

- A.J. Burnett: The "gem" of the class, Burnett is as injury-prone as Wood, Prior and Rex the Wonder Dog and currently on D.L.. Just like the hippo that David Murphy bought for Diana to try and win back her love, Burnett is not worth even close to the money that Toronto paid (although, arguably at that point in her career, Demi Moore may very well have been worth the million).

- The Guys Who Suck: Tell me you wanted the Cubs to spend big money on Esteban Loaiza (6.39 ERA), Brett Tomko (5.20), Matt Morris (5.13) or Jeff Weaver (6.15) and you probably also wanted to see the Bears waste thier money on Antwaan Randle El and think that the Bryan Robinson 2000 contract extension was a good idea.

- The Guys Who Have One Foot in the Grave: Kenny Rogers and Jamie Moyer are both having fine seasons. Unfortunately, Rogers is 42 years old and Moyer is 44. In Moyer's case, I personally see no reason to give big money to a guy who listens to Lawrence Welk and needed to install a LifeCall unit in him home in case a hip gives out and, like Mrs. Fletcher, cannot get up. With regards to Rogers, the union of Chicagoland video camera operators lobbied the Cubs and threatened to boycott both the annual "Pitchers of the DL" and the "Dumbest Players in the National League" camera shoots, if Rogers was signed.

- Shawn Estes, Terry Mulholland and former Sox hurler James Baldwin: Ha ha ha ho hee ha ho ho ha ha ha ha ha ha hee ho ha... Oh god, I have not laughed this hard since Herman's Head went off the air.

That leaves us with Paul Byrd and Jerrod Washburn. I cannot deny that either pitcher would be a major upgrade over Guzman or Hill or whomever is giving up eight walks and six runs in three and one-third innings. Yet, at the same time, call me naive, but I don't think you can operate a team assuming that a player (or players) will get injured. Prepare for the possibility? Absolutely. But, make unsound financial decisions based on the possibility? That does not seem to make sense to me either.

And who else was available at other positions? Rafael Furcal? They tried but paying a .248 hitter $13 million per season is about as ridiculous as paying Vanilla Ice even a cent more than $3 to sing at your summer barbeque. Johnny Damon? Nobody could have figured that Juan Pierre would be this bad and a long-term contract simply was not in the cards given the eventual ascension of Felix Pee-Ay. Juan Encarnacion, Reggie Sanders or Preston Wilson? Three mediocre players who strike out more than often Skippy Handelman when asking out Mallory***. Re-sign Nomah? To play where? Nomah is having a fine season, buti f asked to play shortstop on a daily basis, would surely have spent the majority of the season watching Mia play in charity soccer games while occupying his reserved spot on the D.L..

And it seems as though nobody wants to give Hendry the proper credit for the signings that he did make. The Cubs had a major hole in the bullpen and filled it by (over)paying for Bobby Howry and Scott Eyre.

Still think that Hendry blew it this off-season? Well, I suppose that, upon further review, you very well might have a point. After all, Mark Bellhorn, Steroid Sammy and Jason Grimsley were also off-season free agents that the Cubs passed on. And you can bet that we would be hanging a World Series banner in Wrigley Field this fall if we only had more double ear-flapped helmets labeled "The Horn" in the dugout, more salsa music in the clubhouse and more of whatever it is that Grimsley could provide in everyone's locker stall (when he says "greenies," he means apple flavored jelly beans, right?).

The bottom line is that Hendry certainly deserves his share of the blame. But, at the end of the day, I believe that he has done an admirable job overall. He has made numerous excellent trades and didn't waste money on overpriced free agents that would provide only minimal gain. Look, it is not like a few additional moves would make that much of a difference. Simply stated, the Cubs are one of the worst teams in baseball and very little was going to change that. Hendry deserves blame. Dusty deserves blame. The Tribune deserves blame. And so do the coaches, scouts, minor league instructors, and, most importantly, the players. In fact, just about the only person in the Cubs' organization that should be kept off the hook is Yosh Kawono.

* Look, I truly do not wish to rename this Blog the "Ozzie Guillen's Random Acts of Insanity" or "Let's Talk About Ozzie Like He Talks About the Cubs," but he is making it awfully difficult to ignore him. He continues to say and do what, in my mind, are statements and actions that can only be described as classless.

For those of you too busy searching the Web for a cheap site where you can buy the Elizabeth Berkeley retrospective DVD to watch the White Sox game last night, A.J. Pierzynski got hit by a pitch twice in the first six and one-half innings of the game. With the Sox losing 6-0 in the bottom of the seventh, Ozzie sent rookie Sean Tracey in to pitch with instructions that he intentionally throw at Rangers' thirdbaseman Hank Blalock. Tracey's first two pitchers were inside but failed to hit Blalock, prompting an angry response from Ozzie. His third pitch was then grounded to second and Blalock was thrown out at first.

That is when the fun began. Ozzie reacted to the ground out like Marcia reacted when she found out that Greg was going to get the attic and not her. He threw a water bottle, stormed out onto the field and yanked Tracey from the game. He then proceeded to yell at the poor kid in the dugout for some time, ultimately reducing Tracey to tears. After the game was over, Tracey was optioned to the minors.

Those of you who have been dedicated readers of the Random Thoughts already know how I feel about intentionally throwing at a hitter, but, for those of you who are new to the RT (Jessica Biel included -- you happy now?), I have reprinted my comments on the issue from a past post below...

"We hear all the time about the "way baseball used to be." How if your pitcher plunked the opposing team's star, the first batter up in the next inning would be earning a free, albeit painful, trip to first base (if he can stand that is). How if you hit a home run off Don Drysdale, during your next trip to the plate, you'd be best served bringing a shield and wearing a football helmet. How if you made Bob Gibson angry, he was abt to fire a 97-mph fastball at your head, laugh at your lifeless body and eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Every now and then I think about how amazing it is that sports can warp our view of what is right and what is wrong. I think we lose sight of the fact that a baseball is hard and it is absolutely no fun to get struck by a ball travelling at such great speeds. I know that it is likely not a particularily popular opinion, but I don't think that it should ever be appropriate to intentionally throw at a batter. Give the pitcher the right to throw at a batter on purpose and the hitter should be well within his rights to rush the mound with his bat (or club the catcher over the head with your bat if your name just happens to be Juan Marichal."

This morning on Mike & Mike, Greenberg and Golic argued that it is just a "rule of the game." Well, you know what? I read the baseball record book and I must have overlooked the rule that states that it is expected and permissible to intentionally throw at a hitter. I certainly saw the rule that it is illegal for a Chicago Cub player to drive a runner in from third with under two outs. I saw the rule that requires a manager to sit on the bench any player who has home run power and has been acquired from the Texas Rangers. I even saw the rule about how it is illegal to put squirrels in your pants for the purposes of gambling. But nothing on being required to throw at a batter intentionally.

And even if you believe in the "unwritten rules of baseball," Ozzie's reaction was downright appalling. He is a rookie whom you just asked to throw a 92 mph fastball directly at another human being. Maybe the kid, I don't know, had a conscience?

Enough Ozzie. There is no baseball rule that allows you to treat an opposing batter like a dunk tank participant and there is no grinder ball rule that reads "our manager is an idiot," either.

Enjoy your evening.

*** Two Family Ties references in two days! Who was originally cast as Alex P. Keaton but made an 11th hour decision to turn down the role to stay in New York with his ailing father?