All hail Marie Laveau! There really is something to this voodoo stuff, isn't there? Evidently, Kid Corey's use of a Nick Markakis voodoo doll has worked. For no readily apparent reason, Orioles' manager Sam Perlozzo elected to sit Markakis in favor of Kid Corey the last two days. And how did Kid Corey respond? Touch 'em all, Corey, touch em' all.
Corey rewarded Perlozzo's faith on Wednesday (or lack of faith in the aforementioned Markakis, as the case may be) by collecting two hits in five at-bats, with 3 runs scored, 2 RBIs and, get this, his first first home run of the season. He followed up Wednesday's imitation of Stan Musial by going 2-4 with a run scored, an RBI and a stolen base on Thursday. You're on your way, kid! Reach for the stars!
I elected to start today's post with such a heartwarming story to remind everyone that not all is as bad as it may seem (cue: funeral dirge). So, Derrek Lee has broken his wrist in two places and will be sidelined for upwards of three months. Yes, the north side MVP-candidate has lost his "e's" and gone from D. Lee to just D.L. (no, the D. Lee to D. L. comment is not very creative. In fact, its easy, it's cheesy, and the very thought of it makes me quesy -- although not as quesy as I was on Monday when watching the rear camera shot of the blood streaming down Audrey Raines' left arm).
So, what effect will this have on the Cubs? Well, unlike most fans, I am not definitively claiming that D.L. now stands for "Display the L" (as in flag). In fact, I plan on keeping my "W" flag right where it is, ready to be proudly hung as the Cubs rip off victory after victory. This coming from someone who, even despite their hot start, has been probably the single most pessimistic fan since the beginning of the year. There is no doubt that Lee's absence will do tremendous damage to the Cubs' offensive production. But there are options out there...you just have to know where to look.
If I'm Jim Hendry, I'm not checking the waiver wire or minor league rosters or even calling my general manager colleagues looking for a trade. Oh no, what I'm doing is taking a trip on a Friday (or Thursday or Tuesday or Sunday) night to any of a number of Lincoln Park and Wrigleyville establishments. Keep looking Jim, Mark Grace has got to be in there somewhere. Hey, there's an attractive brunette. Gracie can't be that far behind, can he? Look for the never-ending cloud of cigarette smoke.
Then I'm sending a 1979 throwback powder blue jersey to Boise, Idaho to the retirement home of Bill Buckner (what better place to settle, not be recognized and teased for 1986 World Series Game 6, and do nothing but eat potatoes all day than Boise). Do you doubt that Billy Buck can't still hit? Especially when that Freddie Bynum thing is getting pinch-hitting opportunities and Willie Harris still has a major league job.
I'm also combing the television lots in Hollywood in an attempt to find Pedro Cerrano. Ever since his alter-ago was killed by the cronies of Christopher Henderson, he's probably been looking for something fun to do. Yeah, I know he is on that new show, but a little Tribune company cash can go a long way and I figure that he has got to be getting tired of pitching Allstate insurance. Further, I have no doubt that his little intracacies can be dealt with. Greg Maddux isn't about to drink Jo-Boo's rum. Freddie Bynum can go on daily chicken runs. It all makes sense.
Finally, and this necessitates only three words...Hee Sop Choi.
So, are you ready for the John Mabry / Michael Restovich era to begin, too? Let the Juan Pierre bidding begin now.
Hey, since Cubs fans have had to edure heartbreak year after year (after year after year after year...) maybe the baseball gods will finally smile on the poor Cubs. Seventy-five consecutive rain outs is not too much to ask, is it?
Who do you think should be the Cubs' firstbaseman for the next three months (of course, hat is the Cubs' timetable which ought to mean that Lee should be back in the lineup sometime in September...of 2011). Post your comment!
Lee's absence also likely means that Weasley will be moved to the number three spot in the batting order and I have full faith that he will step up. His brother Ron sure did when the whole school thought that he couldn't save a single ring.
Switching gears, I cannot believe that I failed to take note of the fact that Wednesday night's Cubs-Dodgers game was the Laverne and Shirley Special, featuring a "Penny-Marshall" pitching matchup. Thanks to WrigleyBill for further pointing out that David "Squiggy" Lander was in attendance. Helllllo (boy that sure does not translate well to the written word). Squiggy has apparently quit his job as a beer company truck driver and taken a job as an associate scout with the Seattle Mariners. No report on whether he still collects moths or whether he has asked Mariner management to have the first initial of each player's first name embroidered on the left shoulder of their jerseys.
I did hear, however, that he stole Shirley's Boo-Boo-Kitty, but refuses to let Richie Sexson sleep with it on the road.
From the "When You're Hot, You're Hot and When You're Not, You Suck" files: On Tuesday ,I reported that Astro outfielder Preston Wilson had broken a string of seven straight strikeouts when he grounded into a fielder's choice in the 4th innning of Houston's game against Milwaukee. Wilson singled in his next two at-bats Tuesday night, but returned to his Sosa-esque form on Wednesday by striking out four straight times. That's 11 strikeouts in his last 14 at-bats for those of you scoring at home.
From the "Maybe You Ought to Quit While You Are Ahead" file: Kaz Matsui, the Mets' overpriced, under-talented infielder has quite a streak going. After hitting an inside-the-park home run in his first at-bat of the season Thursday, Matsui has now homered in his first at-bat of the season in each of his three years in the major leagues. Looks like Kaz has his first at bat in his first game of the season down pat. Now Met fans just wish that he would work on his other 450-or so times at the plate (career home runs in two + seasons: 11).
Hey Dusty, I guess David Aardsma is not the answer.
I'd like to follow up on last Friday's post, in which I asked everyone to predict how Mark Prior will suffer his next injury. I think I know the real answer. I had this terrible dream that other night that an opposing player laid down a nice bunt. Hee Seop Choi went to field it, fell down trying to make a spectacular play, but was able to "glove" the ball in the direction of Prior who was covering first base. Alas, the "throw" was off target and Prior collided with the runner (Marcus Giles?) breaking his wrist in two places. It was a truly terrifying dream...
A round of applause for the 41-41 Chicago Bulls. clap clap clap clap. Do they have a realistic shot to survive the Heat? Well, no. But in a season that could have collapsed completely, the team showed a tremendous amount of heart. I'm proud of the team for fighting back from the dead and giving Chicago basketball fans someone to cheer for at least four more games. We all know where the weaknesses lie, but this looks like a team with a terrific future. That said, my prediction: Heat in 5.
Speaking of the Bulls, Tyson Chandler announced that he will not miss any of the team's upcoming playoff games despite the fact that his wife is about to give birth to the couple's first child. Tyson stated that should a conflict occur, he will simply miss the birth of the child. In related news, Steve Garvey, Shawn Kemp, Randy Johnson and the aforementioned Mark Grace have all announced that they are prepared to be present at the birth.
Finally, anyone else suprised by the news that Randy Johnson is suing the mother of his "little secret?" Not so much that he is suing her, but the very fact that a sane woman was willing to sleep with Randy Johnson? I know the dude is a great pitcher and makes a ton of dough, but let's be honest, look at the guy. Tell me if Randy wasn't able to throw a 98 mph fastball, you wouldn't see him on an episode of "Cops," wearing a cut-off Iron Maiden tee shirt and explaining why he felt the need to kick his sister out of the couple's trailer. Don't tell me that didn't cross your mind.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
***Super, super tough baseball trivia question (even for ParrotMama): In the famous video of Hank Aaron's 715th home run, who is the Dodgers' left fielder seen climbing the wall in a futile attempt to make a catch?
If you need a hint (and I suspect you will), read this backwards:
-- .tsop siht ni decnerefer si rewsna ehT
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11 comments:
What are the Cubs to do? Well, it wasn't all that long ago that a team won the World Series based on pitching and very little offense. Come on - you have not forgotten about the White Sox already?
Yes, I know that the Cubs current starters are not equivalent to the Sox rotation, but Rocket Roger is a free agent and we can hopefully count on 32 starts between Kerry and Mark. Combine that with Zambrano and a resurgent Maddox and we could have a pretty good staff. Plus, our bullpen seems to have been solidified (over/under on Ohman being sent down - 3 games).
Obviously, it will be much harder to string together lots of wins without D-L, but it can be done.
As for who will play first base, I tend to agree with most pundits that the Cubs will play Walk there to keep his bat in the lineup. Anyone seen Randall Simon? Also, I think that Weasley will bat 2nd with Walker moving to 3rd.
Jack Bauer is my hero! 3 more years!
"Look for the never-ending cloud of cigarette smoke"
Not for long . . .
What's Leon Durham doing these days?
Not to steal our fearless leader's thunder, but did anyone see the list of the 100 unsexiest men? #2 is Randy Johnson and the list says "If he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops." Second only to Gilbert Gottfried.
Bigger than today's trivia question -- in the same Hank Aaron clip, does anyone know the name of the guy that ran onto the field to pat Aaron on the back as he rounded the bases? That would make a great question in Trivial Pursuit Sports Edition!!
Bearister -- how's this for my new nickname??
The Overrated Chief (or something like that)wrote: "Did anyone see the list of the 100 unsexiest men? #2 is Randy Johnson and the list says "If he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops."
Get out of frickin' town! Are you serious? As an attorney, I feel I must admit that I had heard somewhere that Gilbert Gottfried was #1 on the list, but did not read (or even see) the list -- not really my cup of tea (either the men or the unsexy). Hey, I give credit where and when credit is due...
That said, where did Squiggy finish on the list?
Man, I sure wish I had thought of Randall Simon! The Cubs could use a 30 lb cross.
We're all glad Weasley's working out well.
Tell Jim Hendry he's welcome to again initiate contact "The Other General Manager".
With the injury to D. Lee, the time is ripe for another deal.
I think that the Cubbies will survive w/o “DL”ee. He’ll be back by the all-star break for the 2nd half. Walker and Mabry can take turns knocking down wild throws from Ronnie Cedeno. We could also reach into movie lore and steal Roy Hobbs.
I, for one, am not really awaiting the return of Prior and Wood. Our pitching staff, less Aardsma and Oh-Man, are doing well. Even my boy Rusch is finding his stride. Too much hype around Wood and Prior. It also seems like the media expects them to go 15+/0 for the season and save the team.
Nice 24 references. The scene of Audry felt very “Carrie”-esque. Did you hear that 24 has a movie coming out- its called “The Sentinel”.
Looking forward to the wkend games. Cluck the Fardinals! Or, if you like…Cardinals take it in the Pujols. Both are shirts I’ve seen at Wrigley.
1. So Rafael Furcal sent our MVP to the DL, THE SAME Rafael Furcal that was supposed to be our SS this year (after off-season bidding war lost to LAD). Who says this franchise is not cursed? Cruel, very cruel.......
2. I lived in LA (not proud) for 9 years when I was a youngin & watched the "non-sports fan" crowd exit early.... that town is devoid of anything remotely smelling like a sports fan. Putrid.
3. Larry Biitner at 1B
4. Speaking of Steve Garvey (great line of the dads in line), he ruined my childhood in 1984 as I drove to SD all three days to see that collapse. I've been wishing him eternal misery ever since.... oh no, I'm not bitter :)
A Haiku
Derek Lee, I weep.
Your wrist has broken in two.
And so have my dreams.
I AM GOING TO TAKE A STAB AT THE TRIVA QUESTION......BILL BUCKNER. HONESTLY DECIDED TO TRY HIM BECAUSE YOU MENTIONED HIM IN THIS POST.
ParrotMama is correct on the trivia. Too good of a hint though.
As Alfred E. Neuman would ask "What...me worry?" Not a chance. Add it up 1)Todd Walker in the lineup everday; 2)Aramis Ramirez about to get back on track (HR today but still needs to learn how to run it out to first base); and 3)Greg Maddux looking like he wants another Cy Young and a new contract.
Kerry who? Mark who? We don't need'em but even injured they can't be any worse that Jerome Williams and Glendon Rusch.
Yes, I will forever be a Cub optimist. Or at least until the middle of August.
Somewhat easy trivia question, who is the oldest pitcher to win the Cy Young?
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