to wait for the next edition of Dan's Random Sports Thoughts. I'm simply too busy helping Jim Hendry figure out a way to add Bronson Arroyo to the Cubs' offensive attack. Oh wait... if he was on the Cubs, he wouldn't get to hit against Glendon Rusch, would he? Oh well, it was a good thought.
Have a nice night...
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
Enough is Enough
I've finally had enough. I know that my following rant may not be particularily popular with those readers who reside south of Washington Street (hey, how do you know that Bernie Mac is not reading?), not to mention the woman who shares my house, but enough is enough. Look Ozzie, maybe being a blowhard was funny at one time (heck, it's worked with the younger set for Chris Berman for almost 26 years now), but your outspokeness has officially overstayed its welcome.
I remember your complaints about the lack of parking at Wrigley Field. Hey, join the club. Why not complain about the number of sweaty, smelly people at the Taste of Chicago. You live here and you learn to deal with it.
I remember your complaints about seating for the opposing players' wives at Wrigley. Not sure what you're talking about here. In fact, a few years back at a Cubs-Sox game, I distinctly remember seeing a woman in a Shingo Takutsu jersey in the tenth row next to the opposing team's on-deck circle. Crazy me for actually assuming that it was Shingo's wife. I guess I just assumed that Takutsu jerseys sold about as well as Jim Bullinger Cubs' jerseys. Silly me.
(Roger Clemens just wants to know whether WrigleyBill and his wife -- not to mention an army of 20-somethings-- were able to get their dry cleaning done in a timely fashion with Mrs. Takatsu and Tadahito's main squeeze playing hooky).
I remember your whining regarding the media's focus on Mark Prior's injury, openly wondering why there wasn't a "Frank Thomas Watch." Oh, there was a Frank Thomas watch, but you had to look in the Business section of the paper under "Bankruptcy News" to find it.
I remember your decision not to attend the World Series celebration at the White House. I don't agree with your choice, but respect your right to stay home. As I have said before, that is one of the best things about the USA.
But your recent remarks in Playboy have sent me over the edge.
I simply don't feel the need to review word-for-word Ozzie's profanity laced rantings on the Cubs, the sports media, former players who talk about steroids, Ugueth Urbina and other topics. Heck, I haven't heard that much unabated cursing since the Terrence & Phillip movie. I will say, however, that I was unaware that Ozzie has reviewed all the evidence against Urbina and, therefore, knows conclusively that Urbina is innocent. I suppose I should also remind Ozzie that Ken Caminiti did not name names and maybe, just maybe, he actually wanted to warn younger players about the dangers of steroids and the effect that they can have on one's health. He is dead now, you know. And, why not mention Ozzie's delightful assessment of the job of baseball manager as "horsesh*t" (immediately followed by "you make $2 million if you win..." -- who in the heck is advising him? Latrell Sprewell?).
Shut your f*cking face, Uncle f*cker, indeed.
I seem to recall one other thing that you have said in the past, Ozzie. Wasn't it you who, while complaining about how horrible it is to be a manager, said that if the Sox won the Championship, you would quit? Perhaps you ought to think about living up to your word.
Oh stop complaining Sox fans. There are plenty of managers available to replace Ozzie. Go down to the Calumet White Castle and tell Terry Bevington to turn in his apron.
Whew. I feel better.
For those of you who are desperately craving Mark Prior news, I give you this. A while back, Prior was sued for breach of contract by "Just Ducky Too," a retail gift outlet in Naperville. You might recall that Prior made an appearance at the store but, according to the lawsuit, left early after security failed and all heck broke loose. Well, the lawsuit did not go away and the trial was expected to start this week.
It is my understanding that the judge has set the following schedule: (1) Prior will be asked relatively easy questions while standing on flat ground in front of the stand; (2) a few days later Prior will actually take the stand to answer a few non-threatening questions; (3) he will be asked to mix in more difficult questions while on the stand; (4) two weeks later, after seeing how he responds to taking the stand, Prior will go through a simulated trial; (5) Prior will be sent to Iowa for five practice trials; and (8) the actual, real trial will take place in front of he judge, with real attorneys and everything. That ought to happen sometime around May of 2009.
Speaking of the Cubs...as I am sure you know, today is opening day at the ol' ballyard. Welcome to another season of being unable to see Jacque Jones strike out thanks to those wonderful well-placed posts, having to dodge falling concrete blocks on your way to buying a $9 beer, and being unable to see a replay of whether the leftfielder really would have made that catch if not for the kid in the turtleneck and headphones. But, hey, there are new, fancy bleachers this year. Neato.
Remind me again why we relish this 1920's relic.
Before the game Juan Pierre (who I remind you will be in a different uniform come July 31 -- he is a one-year fill in, regardless with Lou Brock, er Felix Pee-Ay in the wings) was asked how he would stay warm during the game. He noted that he has his "long-johns and will cover himself in baby oil" (I admit that this is a paraphrase). Oooookay. Look Juan, we asked you how you are going to stay warm during the game. No need to tell us about your postgame North Halsted plans.
Corey-o-Meter: Last night: counted used Sammy Sosa syringes while sitting on the bench all game. Season: 0-4 with 1 strikeout.
Stop whining Ozzie. I'm not doing a Rowand-o-meter, too. Let the "no respect" complaints commence.
So, only Bearister is interested in suggesting a nickname for Dee Brown. That's okay. I don't plan on talking about the 'D' League or the Kansas City Cagerz of the USBL much, anyway.
Most Likely Missed Sports News of the Week: The aforementioned Kansas City Cagerz hired Cliff "Good News" Livingston as an assistant coach. Can Scott Williams be far behind?
Finally, (since we have not had Iniana news in a few days) Mike Davis has been hired as the new head coach at UAB. Alabama coaching legend, C.M. Newton, commented that "Mike's teams at Indiana ran" and "his will be a fun type team to watch." What Iniana team was Newton watching? Iniana of Pennsylvania?
Have a great weekend. There will be no post Monday as I will be out of the office. Better pick up a half-dozen cheeseburgers while you're at the Calumet White Caste to fill the empty spot in your hearts.
I remember your complaints about the lack of parking at Wrigley Field. Hey, join the club. Why not complain about the number of sweaty, smelly people at the Taste of Chicago. You live here and you learn to deal with it.
I remember your complaints about seating for the opposing players' wives at Wrigley. Not sure what you're talking about here. In fact, a few years back at a Cubs-Sox game, I distinctly remember seeing a woman in a Shingo Takutsu jersey in the tenth row next to the opposing team's on-deck circle. Crazy me for actually assuming that it was Shingo's wife. I guess I just assumed that Takutsu jerseys sold about as well as Jim Bullinger Cubs' jerseys. Silly me.
(Roger Clemens just wants to know whether WrigleyBill and his wife -- not to mention an army of 20-somethings-- were able to get their dry cleaning done in a timely fashion with Mrs. Takatsu and Tadahito's main squeeze playing hooky).
I remember your whining regarding the media's focus on Mark Prior's injury, openly wondering why there wasn't a "Frank Thomas Watch." Oh, there was a Frank Thomas watch, but you had to look in the Business section of the paper under "Bankruptcy News" to find it.
I remember your decision not to attend the World Series celebration at the White House. I don't agree with your choice, but respect your right to stay home. As I have said before, that is one of the best things about the USA.
But your recent remarks in Playboy have sent me over the edge.
I simply don't feel the need to review word-for-word Ozzie's profanity laced rantings on the Cubs, the sports media, former players who talk about steroids, Ugueth Urbina and other topics. Heck, I haven't heard that much unabated cursing since the Terrence & Phillip movie. I will say, however, that I was unaware that Ozzie has reviewed all the evidence against Urbina and, therefore, knows conclusively that Urbina is innocent. I suppose I should also remind Ozzie that Ken Caminiti did not name names and maybe, just maybe, he actually wanted to warn younger players about the dangers of steroids and the effect that they can have on one's health. He is dead now, you know. And, why not mention Ozzie's delightful assessment of the job of baseball manager as "horsesh*t" (immediately followed by "you make $2 million if you win..." -- who in the heck is advising him? Latrell Sprewell?).
Shut your f*cking face, Uncle f*cker, indeed.
I seem to recall one other thing that you have said in the past, Ozzie. Wasn't it you who, while complaining about how horrible it is to be a manager, said that if the Sox won the Championship, you would quit? Perhaps you ought to think about living up to your word.
Oh stop complaining Sox fans. There are plenty of managers available to replace Ozzie. Go down to the Calumet White Castle and tell Terry Bevington to turn in his apron.
Whew. I feel better.
For those of you who are desperately craving Mark Prior news, I give you this. A while back, Prior was sued for breach of contract by "Just Ducky Too," a retail gift outlet in Naperville. You might recall that Prior made an appearance at the store but, according to the lawsuit, left early after security failed and all heck broke loose. Well, the lawsuit did not go away and the trial was expected to start this week.
It is my understanding that the judge has set the following schedule: (1) Prior will be asked relatively easy questions while standing on flat ground in front of the stand; (2) a few days later Prior will actually take the stand to answer a few non-threatening questions; (3) he will be asked to mix in more difficult questions while on the stand; (4) two weeks later, after seeing how he responds to taking the stand, Prior will go through a simulated trial; (5) Prior will be sent to Iowa for five practice trials; and (8) the actual, real trial will take place in front of he judge, with real attorneys and everything. That ought to happen sometime around May of 2009.
Speaking of the Cubs...as I am sure you know, today is opening day at the ol' ballyard. Welcome to another season of being unable to see Jacque Jones strike out thanks to those wonderful well-placed posts, having to dodge falling concrete blocks on your way to buying a $9 beer, and being unable to see a replay of whether the leftfielder really would have made that catch if not for the kid in the turtleneck and headphones. But, hey, there are new, fancy bleachers this year. Neato.
Remind me again why we relish this 1920's relic.
Before the game Juan Pierre (who I remind you will be in a different uniform come July 31 -- he is a one-year fill in, regardless with Lou Brock, er Felix Pee-Ay in the wings) was asked how he would stay warm during the game. He noted that he has his "long-johns and will cover himself in baby oil" (I admit that this is a paraphrase). Oooookay. Look Juan, we asked you how you are going to stay warm during the game. No need to tell us about your postgame North Halsted plans.
Corey-o-Meter: Last night: counted used Sammy Sosa syringes while sitting on the bench all game. Season: 0-4 with 1 strikeout.
Stop whining Ozzie. I'm not doing a Rowand-o-meter, too. Let the "no respect" complaints commence.
So, only Bearister is interested in suggesting a nickname for Dee Brown. That's okay. I don't plan on talking about the 'D' League or the Kansas City Cagerz of the USBL much, anyway.
Most Likely Missed Sports News of the Week: The aforementioned Kansas City Cagerz hired Cliff "Good News" Livingston as an assistant coach. Can Scott Williams be far behind?
Finally, (since we have not had Iniana news in a few days) Mike Davis has been hired as the new head coach at UAB. Alabama coaching legend, C.M. Newton, commented that "Mike's teams at Indiana ran" and "his will be a fun type team to watch." What Iniana team was Newton watching? Iniana of Pennsylvania?
Have a great weekend. There will be no post Monday as I will be out of the office. Better pick up a half-dozen cheeseburgers while you're at the Calumet White Caste to fill the empty spot in your hearts.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
A Walk in the Park
So much for first place. Not that I actually expected the Cubs' time on the top of the N.L. Central Division mountain to last much longer than a couple of days. Heck, I'm the one who predicted that the Cubs' chances of playing meaningful games in September are about the same as Terrell Owens' chance of being asked to Donovan McNabb's house for a summer picnic. Personally, I think Rush Limbaugh is more likely to get an invitation.
Despite the fact that I am probably about as pessimistic as one can be concerning the Cubs (years and years of watching George Mitterwald*, Barry Foote, Tim Blackwell and Damon Berryhill will do that to you), even I did not expect this year's pitching staff to be sponsored by the Susan G. Koman Breast Cancer Walk-a-thon or Brent Sutter's new walker company (speaking of needing a walker...was that really Mike Remlinger on the mound for the Braves yesterday?). Pitching coach Larry Rothschild must be a big fan of the Johnny Cash biopic "Walk the Line." Just to clarify...sixteen free passes in two games is not good.
And, after yesterday's game, I'm no longer even thinking about teasing Joe Girardi and the Florida Marlins for starting Sergio Mitre in the second game of the season. My memory may be bit hazy, but I don't recall Mitre ever accomplishing Glendon Rusch's latest next-to-impossible feat. Giving up a home run to an opposing pitcher is bad. Giving up said home run to an opposing pitcher who came into the game with a lifetime batting average of .086 and had not played in the National League for years is horrendously bad. And giving up said home run on an 0-2 pitch ought to banish you to the California Penal League. That's just plain criminal.
** Easy...easy triva question. Which pitcher spent his formultive years honing his skills in the California Penal League and why was he there?
And welcome to Chicago, Jacque Jones. Any time you want to hit the ball is fine by me.
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. I'm sure we will enjoy getting a first-hand look at the future in September as Felix Pee-Ay and Angel Guzman get to strut their stuff.
By the way, let me be the first to predict that Juan Pierre is wearing a different uniform on July 31. Kerry Wood, too. And what uniform will Kerry be wearing? .........................
Why, an Iowa Cubs uniform, of course!!! Ho, ho, hee, hee...this stuff never gets old.
At least we don't have Corey Patterson to kick around any more. After sitting out the opener, Corey went 0-4 in the Orioles' second game and left five runners on base. That said, there appear to be signs of progress as Patterson only struck out once. Wouldn't you have thought that the Orioles would have learned their lesson with the Sammy Sosa fiasco? Perhaps we can trade Glendon Rusch for a Cal Ripken Jr. bobble head.
The Sox has a rough day as well. Scotty Pods is off to an 0-13 start and Paul Konerko has just one hit in his first 13 plate appearances. I'm confident that the offense will come around, however. Konerko got off to a miserable start last year as well and, should Pods not find his stroke (anyone else wonder why he was spent so many years in the minors? We may be about the find out), the aforementioned Pierre should be available. Perhaps the Cubs can re-acquire the rights to Karchner and George Bell for Pierre and the since-acquired Ripken bobble-head.
I would, however, worry about the bullpen and, most importantly, Bobby Jenks. I heard one talking head (I guess that makes me a typing hand) mention that those who say that Jenks is not in shape don't know what they are talking about. After all, round is a shape. Must be the churros. I guess giving up the rights to Karchner is not such a good idea after all. Better keep Kelly Wunsch's phone number handy too.
Yesterday, I inquired as to who or what is a Freddie Bynum. Today, I can't help but wonder where the Sox dug up Boone Logan. Didn't I see this guy on Bassmasters? Was it "ESPN Outdoors?" If this guy lists Ted Nugent as his hero and favorite rocker, I'm really starting to wonder.
At least both north side fans an south side fans get a traditional early-season day off today. Anyone ever wonder why teams are given so many days off at the beginning of the season, but often have to play 12 or 15 or 20 games in a row at the end of the year? I mean, how tired can these guys possibly be during the first week of April? Is dodging desert lizards or Florida gators during spring training really that taxing? Has science proven that additional time off at the beginning of a cycle is the best way to maximize effects? Is this my not-so-transparent, but oh-so-clever way of hinting that baseball has not only looked the other way, but actually contributed to the problem? Are some of you wondering what in the heck I am talking about?
Watch ESPN's "Bonds on Bonds" if you are confused. And I thought he was going to be touting the benefits of government securities over investing in the WWE.
Most interesting that the Cubs have two days off in the first four days of the season. Perhaps the schedule-makers recognized that Rusch would be starting the second game of the season and the Cubs' pen would be tired. (Beating a dead horse alert!)
The Bulls won a huge game last night at Philadelphia and look like they are headed for the playoffs. Say what you will about the shortcomings of the Bulls, but you have to admit that the team plays hard, never gives up, and, if nothing else, deserves to go to the playoffs more than the pathetic Sixers. The question is: what most makes Phily undeserving-- row after row of empty seats during what can be termed a "crucial game," an utter lack of intensity by the Sixer players, or the fact that no team that actually gives Shavlik Randolph playing time ever, and I mean ever, should be seen in the playoffs.
And besides, at least one playoff game will be good for the west side economy. With last year's season-long hockey strike and this year's dreadful attendance at Hawks' games you've got to figure that those little boys who bang on buckets outside the United Center have had a rough couple of years. Not to mention the guys who plays the Simpsons theme over and over on his saxophone.
In other NBA news, reports indicate that former NBA-all star Shawn Kemp has been working out with the Mavericks. Kemp last played in the 2002-2003 season, but reportedly has lost 55 pounds by eating oatmeal three times a day and no longer relies on the evil white powder to get through his day. If true, I applaud him for turning his life around. Still, I can't help but wonder if Mark Cuban has lost Dennis Rodman's number and Derrick Coleman, Stanley Roberts and Thomas Hamilton turned the Mavericks owner down first.
Over the last couple of days I've given great consideration about whether to talk (write) about the horrible situation involving the Duke LaCrosse team. Now that the story is getting uglier and uglier and is becoming absolutely nauseating, my decision has been made easy. In general, I like to maintain a certain level of humor in the Random Thoughts and there is nothing, and I mean nothing, funny about what is happening in Durham. No jokes. No wisecracks. Nothing.
As you know, I strongly encourage all Random Thoughts readers to become Random Thoughts commenters (how else can I recognize you by using your clever nickname -- by the way, Kevin, "anonymous" doesn't work for me), but please stop usurping my blog ideas!! Two days ago, commenter Jeff C. (incorrectly identified as Bearister, sorry Jeff C.) stole my NoMah thunder and last night commenter "Tom" (Borrrrring....) beats me to the Mike & Mike "Marriage Madness" punch. I've held my tounge on this for much too long. Look I don't care how many hits the "marriage madness" page has received. I don't care how many stupid couples applied. I don't care how many lonely and bored idiots actually voted. It was (and remains) a dumb, dumb idea. My guess is that if 75,000 people voted, at least 74,500 ignored that actual candidates and wrote in the names Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova. Now that's a wedding, I'd like to see.
The other 500 voters? Split evenly between Mike Greenberg and his book, Mike Golic and a turkey leg, Michael Moore and Donald Rumsfeld, and Mike McDermott and Teddy KGB (I told you, he was gay).
Finally, not only are Random Thoughts commenters stealing my ideas, they are apparently also beginning to demand a little more control over the Random Thoughts. Reader, but current non-commentor, Brian requested a George Mitterwald reference (done). Commentor ParrotMama wants a little love (or hate) for former Illini and Buffalo Grove Charger sports column whipping boy Marcus Liberty (you're going to have to wait a little longer for that one). And finally, Commentor and NoMah thunder stealer Jeff C. desires a nickname for Dee Brown. Now, it will come as no suprise that I'd lean toward, "Mr. Overrated," or "Senor Overrated," or "Overrated Guy With UglyHair," (pretty much anything as long as it has "overrated" in the title), but I leave it to you, the readers of the Random Thoughts. Please post your nickname suggestions for Dee!!!!
* In the interest of sharing as much unimportant information as possible, I offer you the following: Catcher George Eugene Mitterwald played 12 seasons in the major leagues, including four with the Cubs. He was obtained by the Cubs from the Twins in a December 1973 trade for Randy Hundley (father of Random Thought's villian Todd Hundley). With a lifetime batting average of .236, Mitterwald hit 76 career home runs, including 16 in 1973 (must have been his HGH season...). Not sure why, but George's nickname was Baron von Mitterwald.
And, no, I don't care how much you beg. I'm not mentioning Dave Rader.
Despite the fact that I am probably about as pessimistic as one can be concerning the Cubs (years and years of watching George Mitterwald*, Barry Foote, Tim Blackwell and Damon Berryhill will do that to you), even I did not expect this year's pitching staff to be sponsored by the Susan G. Koman Breast Cancer Walk-a-thon or Brent Sutter's new walker company (speaking of needing a walker...was that really Mike Remlinger on the mound for the Braves yesterday?). Pitching coach Larry Rothschild must be a big fan of the Johnny Cash biopic "Walk the Line." Just to clarify...sixteen free passes in two games is not good.
And, after yesterday's game, I'm no longer even thinking about teasing Joe Girardi and the Florida Marlins for starting Sergio Mitre in the second game of the season. My memory may be bit hazy, but I don't recall Mitre ever accomplishing Glendon Rusch's latest next-to-impossible feat. Giving up a home run to an opposing pitcher is bad. Giving up said home run to an opposing pitcher who came into the game with a lifetime batting average of .086 and had not played in the National League for years is horrendously bad. And giving up said home run on an 0-2 pitch ought to banish you to the California Penal League. That's just plain criminal.
** Easy...easy triva question. Which pitcher spent his formultive years honing his skills in the California Penal League and why was he there?
And welcome to Chicago, Jacque Jones. Any time you want to hit the ball is fine by me.
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. I'm sure we will enjoy getting a first-hand look at the future in September as Felix Pee-Ay and Angel Guzman get to strut their stuff.
By the way, let me be the first to predict that Juan Pierre is wearing a different uniform on July 31. Kerry Wood, too. And what uniform will Kerry be wearing? .........................
Why, an Iowa Cubs uniform, of course!!! Ho, ho, hee, hee...this stuff never gets old.
At least we don't have Corey Patterson to kick around any more. After sitting out the opener, Corey went 0-4 in the Orioles' second game and left five runners on base. That said, there appear to be signs of progress as Patterson only struck out once. Wouldn't you have thought that the Orioles would have learned their lesson with the Sammy Sosa fiasco? Perhaps we can trade Glendon Rusch for a Cal Ripken Jr. bobble head.
The Sox has a rough day as well. Scotty Pods is off to an 0-13 start and Paul Konerko has just one hit in his first 13 plate appearances. I'm confident that the offense will come around, however. Konerko got off to a miserable start last year as well and, should Pods not find his stroke (anyone else wonder why he was spent so many years in the minors? We may be about the find out), the aforementioned Pierre should be available. Perhaps the Cubs can re-acquire the rights to Karchner and George Bell for Pierre and the since-acquired Ripken bobble-head.
I would, however, worry about the bullpen and, most importantly, Bobby Jenks. I heard one talking head (I guess that makes me a typing hand) mention that those who say that Jenks is not in shape don't know what they are talking about. After all, round is a shape. Must be the churros. I guess giving up the rights to Karchner is not such a good idea after all. Better keep Kelly Wunsch's phone number handy too.
Yesterday, I inquired as to who or what is a Freddie Bynum. Today, I can't help but wonder where the Sox dug up Boone Logan. Didn't I see this guy on Bassmasters? Was it "ESPN Outdoors?" If this guy lists Ted Nugent as his hero and favorite rocker, I'm really starting to wonder.
At least both north side fans an south side fans get a traditional early-season day off today. Anyone ever wonder why teams are given so many days off at the beginning of the season, but often have to play 12 or 15 or 20 games in a row at the end of the year? I mean, how tired can these guys possibly be during the first week of April? Is dodging desert lizards or Florida gators during spring training really that taxing? Has science proven that additional time off at the beginning of a cycle is the best way to maximize effects? Is this my not-so-transparent, but oh-so-clever way of hinting that baseball has not only looked the other way, but actually contributed to the problem? Are some of you wondering what in the heck I am talking about?
Watch ESPN's "Bonds on Bonds" if you are confused. And I thought he was going to be touting the benefits of government securities over investing in the WWE.
Most interesting that the Cubs have two days off in the first four days of the season. Perhaps the schedule-makers recognized that Rusch would be starting the second game of the season and the Cubs' pen would be tired. (Beating a dead horse alert!)
The Bulls won a huge game last night at Philadelphia and look like they are headed for the playoffs. Say what you will about the shortcomings of the Bulls, but you have to admit that the team plays hard, never gives up, and, if nothing else, deserves to go to the playoffs more than the pathetic Sixers. The question is: what most makes Phily undeserving-- row after row of empty seats during what can be termed a "crucial game," an utter lack of intensity by the Sixer players, or the fact that no team that actually gives Shavlik Randolph playing time ever, and I mean ever, should be seen in the playoffs.
And besides, at least one playoff game will be good for the west side economy. With last year's season-long hockey strike and this year's dreadful attendance at Hawks' games you've got to figure that those little boys who bang on buckets outside the United Center have had a rough couple of years. Not to mention the guys who plays the Simpsons theme over and over on his saxophone.
In other NBA news, reports indicate that former NBA-all star Shawn Kemp has been working out with the Mavericks. Kemp last played in the 2002-2003 season, but reportedly has lost 55 pounds by eating oatmeal three times a day and no longer relies on the evil white powder to get through his day. If true, I applaud him for turning his life around. Still, I can't help but wonder if Mark Cuban has lost Dennis Rodman's number and Derrick Coleman, Stanley Roberts and Thomas Hamilton turned the Mavericks owner down first.
Over the last couple of days I've given great consideration about whether to talk (write) about the horrible situation involving the Duke LaCrosse team. Now that the story is getting uglier and uglier and is becoming absolutely nauseating, my decision has been made easy. In general, I like to maintain a certain level of humor in the Random Thoughts and there is nothing, and I mean nothing, funny about what is happening in Durham. No jokes. No wisecracks. Nothing.
As you know, I strongly encourage all Random Thoughts readers to become Random Thoughts commenters (how else can I recognize you by using your clever nickname -- by the way, Kevin, "anonymous" doesn't work for me), but please stop usurping my blog ideas!! Two days ago, commenter Jeff C. (incorrectly identified as Bearister, sorry Jeff C.) stole my NoMah thunder and last night commenter "Tom" (Borrrrring....) beats me to the Mike & Mike "Marriage Madness" punch. I've held my tounge on this for much too long. Look I don't care how many hits the "marriage madness" page has received. I don't care how many stupid couples applied. I don't care how many lonely and bored idiots actually voted. It was (and remains) a dumb, dumb idea. My guess is that if 75,000 people voted, at least 74,500 ignored that actual candidates and wrote in the names Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova. Now that's a wedding, I'd like to see.
The other 500 voters? Split evenly between Mike Greenberg and his book, Mike Golic and a turkey leg, Michael Moore and Donald Rumsfeld, and Mike McDermott and Teddy KGB (I told you, he was gay).
Finally, not only are Random Thoughts commenters stealing my ideas, they are apparently also beginning to demand a little more control over the Random Thoughts. Reader, but current non-commentor, Brian requested a George Mitterwald reference (done). Commentor ParrotMama wants a little love (or hate) for former Illini and Buffalo Grove Charger sports column whipping boy Marcus Liberty (you're going to have to wait a little longer for that one). And finally, Commentor and NoMah thunder stealer Jeff C. desires a nickname for Dee Brown. Now, it will come as no suprise that I'd lean toward, "Mr. Overrated," or "Senor Overrated," or "Overrated Guy With UglyHair," (pretty much anything as long as it has "overrated" in the title), but I leave it to you, the readers of the Random Thoughts. Please post your nickname suggestions for Dee!!!!
* In the interest of sharing as much unimportant information as possible, I offer you the following: Catcher George Eugene Mitterwald played 12 seasons in the major leagues, including four with the Cubs. He was obtained by the Cubs from the Twins in a December 1973 trade for Randy Hundley (father of Random Thought's villian Todd Hundley). With a lifetime batting average of .236, Mitterwald hit 76 career home runs, including 16 in 1973 (must have been his HGH season...). Not sure why, but George's nickname was Baron von Mitterwald.
And, no, I don't care how much you beg. I'm not mentioning Dave Rader.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Long Live the Ampersand!!!
Now that I have officially put college basketball to bed for the season, I must admit that I feel rather liberated. No longer will I be annoyed by the Missouri Valley. No longer will I feel the constant need to remind you how overrated Dee Brown is. No longer will I bore you all to tears by rambling on and on (and on and on and on) about Iniana. And most importantly, no longer will I be burdened by my own ridiculous avoidance of the ampersand.
I am free...
(at least until October when the Texas A & M Aggies take the court once again).
Not sure what possessed me to watch the Bulls last night, but, boy, am I happy that I did. What a comeback! Down 90-73 in the 4th quarter, the Bulls finished the game on a 29-6 run & grabbed the much-needed victory. They now head into a home & home with Philadelphia only 1/2 game back of the Sixers & only 1 1/2 games behind the free-falling Pacers in the playoff chase.
Many have argued that the Bulls would be better off missing the playoffs & getting an extra shot in the draft lottery. I respectfully disagree. I still think this team has decent talent & should be viewed as a future contender (yes, I admit that they need a post threat to take the pressure off of their perimeter options). That said, any playoff experience, even if it involves a sweep at the hands of the Pistons, in my mind, is good for the team. I have full faith that Scott Skiles & John Paxson are well aware of the current shortcomings of the team & will not have the wool pulled over their eyes by any "success" that a playoff appearance may suggest.
The big question involves what to do with Ben Gordon. I think most Bulls fans agree that the team would be foolish to part ways with Captain Kirk, Andres Nocioni & Luol Deng. Ben's situation may be a little different, however. Yes, he certainly is capable of putting the team on his shoulders & single-handedly winning games (see: last night's 4th quarter explosion including a truly phenomenal five-feet-behind-the-line, lean-in three pointer to give the Bulls the lead), but he is woefully inconsistent. Overall, should the T-Wolves dangle Kevin Garnett or the Celtics suggest Paul Pierce, I'd be willing to let Ben go if I were Bulls management.
And, no, my opinion that the Bulls don't need the extra lottery balls has not been changed by Kentucky guard Rajon Rondo's announcement that he in making himself eligible for the NBA draft. Rajon Rondo is entering the draft? Rajon Rondo? Look Rajon, there is a place for overrated point guards who can't shoot & aren't leaders. It's called Belgium. Enjoy the waffles.
Nice to see that Bearister was able to take a few minutes between diaper changes & infant rocking to inform everyone that NoMah was placed on the 15-day disabled list before playing in even one game for the Dodgers. In other believe-it-or-not news, CNN is reporting that Saddam Hussein is a bad guy, MTV is reporting that the Rolling Stones will not retire any time soon, & Spike TV is reporting, yep you guessed it, that Jessica Alba is hot.
Nice to see MTV get back to music & CNN get back to news. I guess the Duke-North Carolina postgame show has finally ended.
I was shocked to see that Sergio Mitre was the Marlins game two starting pitcher & even more shocked to see Florida clobber Andy Pettitte & the Astros 11-2. In fact, I believe I started laughing at the pathetic state of the Marlins' roster when I heard that Mitre was the second best pitcher on the roster. And then Random Thoughts commenter Bill Wirtz's Nachos (or is it Mike McDermott?) reminded me that Glendon Rusch is the Cubs Game 2 starter. Kind of like picking on a kid for wearing Wrangler jeans & then having your mom come home with Rustlers.
Okay, who in the heck is forwarding the Random Thoughts to the Benson family? It was less than a day after "The Wife" put the hammer down regarding cheating that Anna withdrew her divorce petition & announced that she will try & work things out with hubby Kris.
Just wondering: How in the heck did Kris Benson score her in the first place? Oh yeah, it must have something to do with the number of zeroes at the end of his check.
Roger Clemens is, unfortunately for him, back in the news. No, he did not once again get thrown out of the stadium during his son's game & he has not scheduled a fight-to-the death with Mike Piazza. Instead, Clemens is being criticized for his comments that he could not get his dry cleaning back in a timely fashion because 50,000 Japanese and Koreans were attending the World Baseball Classic battle between the two teams. It's a good thing he didn't have a hankering for some egg rolls & and fortune cookies.
I mean, c'mon. A little insensitive? Sure. But you tell me the last time you needed your shirts pressed and didn't feel like you had walked into the international Ichiro Suzuki fan club headquarters.
I wonder if his lawn service showed up during the Mexi...
Hey! I didn't actually say it!!! To cover my bases however...Vicente Fox & Vinny Castilla...if you are out there, I'm sorry.
Reportedly Clemens will apologize to the Asian community, unless he doesn't.
Okay, I promised you that I had put the 2006 NCAA Tournament to bed, but even the most disciplined children come out of their rooms occasionally for a drink of water & one more story. So before I return the Madness to its room for the night, one more interesting story. Apparently, during the championship, Joakim Noah winked, puckered his lips & blew a kiss to the UCLA dance team & cheerleaders. According to Noah, "They were just talking crazy to me, like, 'You're so ugly.' I mean, it hurts when you have so many beautiful girls out there just telling you how ugly you are & stuff. ... The best thing I could do was just blow a kiss bye, & maybe they like me."
Joakim, I can't blame you for trying. My guess, however, is that you ought to let the challenge go and concentrate on the sure thing. I'm sure Billy P-acc-ker, Jim Nantz & Bryant Gumbel would love a little one-on-one time with the Final Four's Most Outstanding Player. Either that of start hanging out with Tail-chaser Brian Anderson.
Stay away from Lorenzo Mata. I repeat. Stay Away from Lorenzo Mata.
Okay, I fully recognize that many of my references are not understood by some Random Thoughts readers. That said, never did I expect "The Wife" to put one over my head. Dunbar Bulldogs? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Some might call that a taste of my own medicine...
Finally, as all readers of the Random Thoughts know, I enjoy referring to athletes & teams by clever little nicknames (hey, they're clever in my mind). Apparently not satisfied with monikers like Tail-chaser Anderson & Rex the Wonder Dog & Kyle the Bearded Wonder (Look, the guy is probably never going to be heard from again...I wanted to get him one last mention), commenter WrigleyBill suggests that I not refer to any players who the Cubs have scrapped or traded by name. Does this mean I have to refer to Juan Cruz as "He Who Must Also Not Be Named," & Mark Bellhorn as "He Who Must Not Be Named Either?"
Forget that! That would get more annoying than a page full of ampersands.
Have a nice day & night.
I am free...
(at least until October when the Texas A & M Aggies take the court once again).
Not sure what possessed me to watch the Bulls last night, but, boy, am I happy that I did. What a comeback! Down 90-73 in the 4th quarter, the Bulls finished the game on a 29-6 run & grabbed the much-needed victory. They now head into a home & home with Philadelphia only 1/2 game back of the Sixers & only 1 1/2 games behind the free-falling Pacers in the playoff chase.
Many have argued that the Bulls would be better off missing the playoffs & getting an extra shot in the draft lottery. I respectfully disagree. I still think this team has decent talent & should be viewed as a future contender (yes, I admit that they need a post threat to take the pressure off of their perimeter options). That said, any playoff experience, even if it involves a sweep at the hands of the Pistons, in my mind, is good for the team. I have full faith that Scott Skiles & John Paxson are well aware of the current shortcomings of the team & will not have the wool pulled over their eyes by any "success" that a playoff appearance may suggest.
The big question involves what to do with Ben Gordon. I think most Bulls fans agree that the team would be foolish to part ways with Captain Kirk, Andres Nocioni & Luol Deng. Ben's situation may be a little different, however. Yes, he certainly is capable of putting the team on his shoulders & single-handedly winning games (see: last night's 4th quarter explosion including a truly phenomenal five-feet-behind-the-line, lean-in three pointer to give the Bulls the lead), but he is woefully inconsistent. Overall, should the T-Wolves dangle Kevin Garnett or the Celtics suggest Paul Pierce, I'd be willing to let Ben go if I were Bulls management.
And, no, my opinion that the Bulls don't need the extra lottery balls has not been changed by Kentucky guard Rajon Rondo's announcement that he in making himself eligible for the NBA draft. Rajon Rondo is entering the draft? Rajon Rondo? Look Rajon, there is a place for overrated point guards who can't shoot & aren't leaders. It's called Belgium. Enjoy the waffles.
Nice to see that Bearister was able to take a few minutes between diaper changes & infant rocking to inform everyone that NoMah was placed on the 15-day disabled list before playing in even one game for the Dodgers. In other believe-it-or-not news, CNN is reporting that Saddam Hussein is a bad guy, MTV is reporting that the Rolling Stones will not retire any time soon, & Spike TV is reporting, yep you guessed it, that Jessica Alba is hot.
Nice to see MTV get back to music & CNN get back to news. I guess the Duke-North Carolina postgame show has finally ended.
I was shocked to see that Sergio Mitre was the Marlins game two starting pitcher & even more shocked to see Florida clobber Andy Pettitte & the Astros 11-2. In fact, I believe I started laughing at the pathetic state of the Marlins' roster when I heard that Mitre was the second best pitcher on the roster. And then Random Thoughts commenter Bill Wirtz's Nachos (or is it Mike McDermott?) reminded me that Glendon Rusch is the Cubs Game 2 starter. Kind of like picking on a kid for wearing Wrangler jeans & then having your mom come home with Rustlers.
Okay, who in the heck is forwarding the Random Thoughts to the Benson family? It was less than a day after "The Wife" put the hammer down regarding cheating that Anna withdrew her divorce petition & announced that she will try & work things out with hubby Kris.
Just wondering: How in the heck did Kris Benson score her in the first place? Oh yeah, it must have something to do with the number of zeroes at the end of his check.
Roger Clemens is, unfortunately for him, back in the news. No, he did not once again get thrown out of the stadium during his son's game & he has not scheduled a fight-to-the death with Mike Piazza. Instead, Clemens is being criticized for his comments that he could not get his dry cleaning back in a timely fashion because 50,000 Japanese and Koreans were attending the World Baseball Classic battle between the two teams. It's a good thing he didn't have a hankering for some egg rolls & and fortune cookies.
I mean, c'mon. A little insensitive? Sure. But you tell me the last time you needed your shirts pressed and didn't feel like you had walked into the international Ichiro Suzuki fan club headquarters.
I wonder if his lawn service showed up during the Mexi...
Hey! I didn't actually say it!!! To cover my bases however...Vicente Fox & Vinny Castilla...if you are out there, I'm sorry.
Reportedly Clemens will apologize to the Asian community, unless he doesn't.
Okay, I promised you that I had put the 2006 NCAA Tournament to bed, but even the most disciplined children come out of their rooms occasionally for a drink of water & one more story. So before I return the Madness to its room for the night, one more interesting story. Apparently, during the championship, Joakim Noah winked, puckered his lips & blew a kiss to the UCLA dance team & cheerleaders. According to Noah, "They were just talking crazy to me, like, 'You're so ugly.' I mean, it hurts when you have so many beautiful girls out there just telling you how ugly you are & stuff. ... The best thing I could do was just blow a kiss bye, & maybe they like me."
Joakim, I can't blame you for trying. My guess, however, is that you ought to let the challenge go and concentrate on the sure thing. I'm sure Billy P-acc-ker, Jim Nantz & Bryant Gumbel would love a little one-on-one time with the Final Four's Most Outstanding Player. Either that of start hanging out with Tail-chaser Brian Anderson.
Stay away from Lorenzo Mata. I repeat. Stay Away from Lorenzo Mata.
Okay, I fully recognize that many of my references are not understood by some Random Thoughts readers. That said, never did I expect "The Wife" to put one over my head. Dunbar Bulldogs? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Some might call that a taste of my own medicine...
Finally, as all readers of the Random Thoughts know, I enjoy referring to athletes & teams by clever little nicknames (hey, they're clever in my mind). Apparently not satisfied with monikers like Tail-chaser Anderson & Rex the Wonder Dog & Kyle the Bearded Wonder (Look, the guy is probably never going to be heard from again...I wanted to get him one last mention), commenter WrigleyBill suggests that I not refer to any players who the Cubs have scrapped or traded by name. Does this mean I have to refer to Juan Cruz as "He Who Must Also Not Be Named," & Mark Bellhorn as "He Who Must Not Be Named Either?"
Forget that! That would get more annoying than a page full of ampersands.
Have a nice day & night.
Only 491,040 Minutes to Go...
The Madness is over [*sniff*]. Yes, I admit that there is a lot to be happy about and a lot to look forward to -- baseball season has just begun, the NFL draft is right around the corner, the Bulls are making their final push toward the playoffs, there's only a little over a week before members of the tribe are relegated to eating our corned beef on matzo -- but I cannot help but feel a little sad. The greatest four weeks of the sports calendar have officially come to an end.
No more buzzer beaters. No more assist-to-turnover references. No more shining moments. And when I next turn on CBS, I can't expect to hear Joakim Noah's name every third word (he's a great player, sure, but c'mon...)
Oh well, did I happen to mention that there are only 341 days until Selection Sunday 2007? That's only 29,462,400 seconds for those of you scoring at home. I'd better go start working on my bracket...
Let's hope that the 2007 Final Four and National Championship game are better than this year's. I suppose we shouldn't complain, though. Overall, it was a wonderful tournament and one chock-filled with lasting memories. My favorite moment? Gotta be either Northwestern State's win over Iowa and the pure joy of the Northwestern St kids (not to mention the look on Steve Alford's face) or Adam Morrison's imitation of a 4-year old boy who just had his Darth Vader doll taken away.
Last night's final? Well, let's be honest. There isn't really isn't much to say....it sucked. Florida played excellent and cemented itself as the tournament's best team. There is really no need for a breakdown (even the schmokes at ESPN are having a hard time finding anything to talk about outside of how Joakim Noah is college basketball's answer to Michael Vick), but that does not mean that there are not a few thoughts floating around my head...
* Don't say that I didn't warn you. I told you Lorenzo Mata was ugly.
* "The Wife" took interest in the fact that UCLA guard Arron Afflalo is from Compton. She really wants to know if he was a clover.
* Speaking of the Clovers...what is it about their presence in the atmosphere that makes it so dang cold?
* (If you do not understand the above two references, please check with your wife, girlfriend, or the neighborhood 15-year old girl. Either that or become a big Kirsten Dunst fan).
* Hey Chervin! Give us back Bonnie Bernstein. Suffering through Dan Bonner as a sideline reporter is like a Cubs fan reliving the Rick Aguilera years. Painful.
* Billy P-acc-ker made a big deal about the fact that Kareem, Bill Russell, Bill Walton and Bob Kurland were all present at the game. (Yes, THE Bob Kurland). He commented that it is the first time ever that the four "greatest college centers" of all time were in attendance at the same game. Now, don't get me wrong. Kurland is a two-time MVP of the NCAA Tournament and was inducted into the basketball Hall of Fame in 1961, but c'mon, Billy. Ever heard of a guy named George Mikan? The guy was only voted the "Greatest Player of the First Half-Century" by the Associated Press. Billy must consider DePaul, circa 1945, a mid-major.
* Speaking of P-acc-ker...why was he so insistent on calling Florida coach Billy DONOVAN, "Billy Dunavan?"
* Can we get a few more shots of the players' parents please? Raise your hand if you had ever heard of the "great" Tito Horford before Saturday? (my hand, by the way, is raised) Sheesh, the post-production script must look like this: "Game footage (good job mentioning Noah at least eight times per minute); closeup on Noah; shot of Noah's dad reacting; shot of Horford's dad reacting to Noah's dad's reaction; shot of Green's dad reacting to Horford's dad reating to Noah's dad's reaction; game footage (increase mentions of Noah to at least one every other second); shot of Noah's dad..."
* Frankly I'm surprised that Kerry Wood's wife and Brady Quinn's sister/ A.J. Hawk's girlfriend weren't shown.
* And can we please get at least one shot of Jessica Alba? (Is watching her on TV cheating?)
And with that I put the 2006 NCAA Madness to bed. G'night.
So, the Cubs won their opener. Let's be honest here, a win is a win, but it is a dang good thing that they were playing the Bad News Bears. First, Buttermaker clearly left his starting pitcher in too long and should have brought in Amanda and second, Adam Dunn playing the outfield brings back cruel memories of Timmy Lupus. Some quickies on the first-place Cubbies...
* Cubs' hurlers walked ten Cincinnati Reds batters. And Michael Wuertz did not even pitch. Ouch.
* Fort Wayne (IN) News-Sentinel Columnist Reggie Hayes had one of the best Kerry Wood/ Mark Prior jokes I have heard in a while. Instead of promotions involving a giveaway of painters caps or magnet schedules, how about giving away limited edition X-Rays of Wood and Prior? (I sure wish I could take credit for that one, but you just never know when a Reggie Hayes is going to be reading the Random Thoughts. Anyday now, right?)
* Who, or what, is a Freddie Bynum?
* It is a good thing that Dusty is having so much difficulty determining who his everyday second baseman should be. With ringers like Jacque Jones and Ronny Cedeno in the lineup, who needs Walker's bat?
* Three-for-five, two runs scored, a three-run dinger, and a great play in the outfield? Malfoy was right. Weasley is our king.
* Trivia question (easily googled for those of you who are, according to The Wife, CHEATERS: Who did the Cubs trade for Weasley?
* Aramis Ramirez is good. He may not be a Cub, but that Albert Pujols ain't bad either, eh?
Finally, the Blackhawks played a meaningless game last night versus the Avalanche. Why do I mention this, you ask? Because, although I am barely paying attention, the Blackhawks' futility continues to amaze me. Last night, the team had a 3-2 lead with under a minute to play in the game and still lost4-3. In regulation.
Murray Craven...where are you when we need you?
No more buzzer beaters. No more assist-to-turnover references. No more shining moments. And when I next turn on CBS, I can't expect to hear Joakim Noah's name every third word (he's a great player, sure, but c'mon...)
Oh well, did I happen to mention that there are only 341 days until Selection Sunday 2007? That's only 29,462,400 seconds for those of you scoring at home. I'd better go start working on my bracket...
Let's hope that the 2007 Final Four and National Championship game are better than this year's. I suppose we shouldn't complain, though. Overall, it was a wonderful tournament and one chock-filled with lasting memories. My favorite moment? Gotta be either Northwestern State's win over Iowa and the pure joy of the Northwestern St kids (not to mention the look on Steve Alford's face) or Adam Morrison's imitation of a 4-year old boy who just had his Darth Vader doll taken away.
Last night's final? Well, let's be honest. There isn't really isn't much to say....it sucked. Florida played excellent and cemented itself as the tournament's best team. There is really no need for a breakdown (even the schmokes at ESPN are having a hard time finding anything to talk about outside of how Joakim Noah is college basketball's answer to Michael Vick), but that does not mean that there are not a few thoughts floating around my head...
* Don't say that I didn't warn you. I told you Lorenzo Mata was ugly.
* "The Wife" took interest in the fact that UCLA guard Arron Afflalo is from Compton. She really wants to know if he was a clover.
* Speaking of the Clovers...what is it about their presence in the atmosphere that makes it so dang cold?
* (If you do not understand the above two references, please check with your wife, girlfriend, or the neighborhood 15-year old girl. Either that or become a big Kirsten Dunst fan).
* Hey Chervin! Give us back Bonnie Bernstein. Suffering through Dan Bonner as a sideline reporter is like a Cubs fan reliving the Rick Aguilera years. Painful.
* Billy P-acc-ker made a big deal about the fact that Kareem, Bill Russell, Bill Walton and Bob Kurland were all present at the game. (Yes, THE Bob Kurland). He commented that it is the first time ever that the four "greatest college centers" of all time were in attendance at the same game. Now, don't get me wrong. Kurland is a two-time MVP of the NCAA Tournament and was inducted into the basketball Hall of Fame in 1961, but c'mon, Billy. Ever heard of a guy named George Mikan? The guy was only voted the "Greatest Player of the First Half-Century" by the Associated Press. Billy must consider DePaul, circa 1945, a mid-major.
* Speaking of P-acc-ker...why was he so insistent on calling Florida coach Billy DONOVAN, "Billy Dunavan?"
* Can we get a few more shots of the players' parents please? Raise your hand if you had ever heard of the "great" Tito Horford before Saturday? (my hand, by the way, is raised) Sheesh, the post-production script must look like this: "Game footage (good job mentioning Noah at least eight times per minute); closeup on Noah; shot of Noah's dad reacting; shot of Horford's dad reacting to Noah's dad's reaction; shot of Green's dad reacting to Horford's dad reating to Noah's dad's reaction; game footage (increase mentions of Noah to at least one every other second); shot of Noah's dad..."
* Frankly I'm surprised that Kerry Wood's wife and Brady Quinn's sister/ A.J. Hawk's girlfriend weren't shown.
* And can we please get at least one shot of Jessica Alba? (Is watching her on TV cheating?)
And with that I put the 2006 NCAA Madness to bed. G'night.
So, the Cubs won their opener. Let's be honest here, a win is a win, but it is a dang good thing that they were playing the Bad News Bears. First, Buttermaker clearly left his starting pitcher in too long and should have brought in Amanda and second, Adam Dunn playing the outfield brings back cruel memories of Timmy Lupus. Some quickies on the first-place Cubbies...
* Cubs' hurlers walked ten Cincinnati Reds batters. And Michael Wuertz did not even pitch. Ouch.
* Fort Wayne (IN) News-Sentinel Columnist Reggie Hayes had one of the best Kerry Wood/ Mark Prior jokes I have heard in a while. Instead of promotions involving a giveaway of painters caps or magnet schedules, how about giving away limited edition X-Rays of Wood and Prior? (I sure wish I could take credit for that one, but you just never know when a Reggie Hayes is going to be reading the Random Thoughts. Anyday now, right?)
* Who, or what, is a Freddie Bynum?
* It is a good thing that Dusty is having so much difficulty determining who his everyday second baseman should be. With ringers like Jacque Jones and Ronny Cedeno in the lineup, who needs Walker's bat?
* Three-for-five, two runs scored, a three-run dinger, and a great play in the outfield? Malfoy was right. Weasley is our king.
* Trivia question (easily googled for those of you who are, according to The Wife, CHEATERS: Who did the Cubs trade for Weasley?
* Aramis Ramirez is good. He may not be a Cub, but that Albert Pujols ain't bad either, eh?
Finally, the Blackhawks played a meaningless game last night versus the Avalanche. Why do I mention this, you ask? Because, although I am barely paying attention, the Blackhawks' futility continues to amaze me. Last night, the team had a 3-2 lead with under a minute to play in the game and still lost4-3. In regulation.
Murray Craven...where are you when we need you?
Monday, April 03, 2006
Madness...Off. Frustration...On
First of all, the Random Thoughts would like to congratulate the Bearister family on the arrival of Benjamin Newman Simon! With the arrival of Ben, Team Voldemort gains one additional fan, the Random Thoughts gains one additional reader (why wouldn't the Random Thoughts become nightly bedtime fare?) and big sister Emily finally gets someone to do her bidding. Congratulations Adam and Julie!!!
Ben has entered this world more than 4 1/2 weeks before his due date, just in time for the start of the 2006 baseball season. Poor, poor Ben. After all, it took precisely 73 minutes of baseball fun for me to remember why April through September can be the most frustrating months of the year. They've got this really cool rule in baseball, Carlos. If you throw the ball over the plate, it is called a strike. Pretty neat, huh? Why not try it sometime.
On the other side of town, the 2005 World Series Champion White Sox opened defense of their title last night versus the Tribe. For those of you too busy watching Bree go on a bender, the Sox grabbed a 3-0 lead by playing opportunistic baseball, watched Cleveland come back to tie the game at 3, and
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
once the rains stopped, went on to a 10-4 victory. Reportedly, after the rains, a crowd of 40,000+ thinned out to less than 5,000 forcing Tail-chaser Brian Anderson to remark how strange it was to come out of the clubhouse and play in front of only 5,000 fans. I'll tell you what, Brian, you'd better hope that the starting pitching holds up. Otherwise, check with Konerko and Buehrle. They've been around long enough to prepare you for a September of begging even the Ligge's to show up at the Cell. Stylish yellow jerseys optional.
Hey, someone told me they played some college basketball games this weekend. Talk about a let down. After such a wonderful tournament, thus far, the national Semi-Finals were less than thrilling. Not really much else I can say. Not even an Erin Andrews sighting to divert our attention.
Sorry to jump back to the Chicago National League Ballclub, but they currently have the bases loaded with zero outs in a tie game and rookie Angel Pagan at the plate. This ought to be interesting. Maybe we can get lucky and get a catcher's interference call or something.
I expect a decent game tonight as the Madness officially ends for 2006. I doubt that there will be very much offense, but it should be competitive. It's really a crapshoot. Let's go with UCLA 65, Florida 62.
Pagan gets a hit!!! Pagan gets a hit!!! The Cubs lead!!! Start printing the World Series tickets now!!!
And its only game one.
Sigh.
Ben has entered this world more than 4 1/2 weeks before his due date, just in time for the start of the 2006 baseball season. Poor, poor Ben. After all, it took precisely 73 minutes of baseball fun for me to remember why April through September can be the most frustrating months of the year. They've got this really cool rule in baseball, Carlos. If you throw the ball over the plate, it is called a strike. Pretty neat, huh? Why not try it sometime.
On the other side of town, the 2005 World Series Champion White Sox opened defense of their title last night versus the Tribe. For those of you too busy watching Bree go on a bender, the Sox grabbed a 3-0 lead by playing opportunistic baseball, watched Cleveland come back to tie the game at 3, and
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
rain
once the rains stopped, went on to a 10-4 victory. Reportedly, after the rains, a crowd of 40,000+ thinned out to less than 5,000 forcing Tail-chaser Brian Anderson to remark how strange it was to come out of the clubhouse and play in front of only 5,000 fans. I'll tell you what, Brian, you'd better hope that the starting pitching holds up. Otherwise, check with Konerko and Buehrle. They've been around long enough to prepare you for a September of begging even the Ligge's to show up at the Cell. Stylish yellow jerseys optional.
Hey, someone told me they played some college basketball games this weekend. Talk about a let down. After such a wonderful tournament, thus far, the national Semi-Finals were less than thrilling. Not really much else I can say. Not even an Erin Andrews sighting to divert our attention.
Sorry to jump back to the Chicago National League Ballclub, but they currently have the bases loaded with zero outs in a tie game and rookie Angel Pagan at the plate. This ought to be interesting. Maybe we can get lucky and get a catcher's interference call or something.
I expect a decent game tonight as the Madness officially ends for 2006. I doubt that there will be very much offense, but it should be competitive. It's really a crapshoot. Let's go with UCLA 65, Florida 62.
Pagan gets a hit!!! Pagan gets a hit!!! The Cubs lead!!! Start printing the World Series tickets now!!!
And its only game one.
Sigh.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Emptying My Brain
After yesterday's rather in-depth and, at times serious, discussion of the steroid issue and cheating in general, I figured that today we would take a step back and talk about a number of considerably smaller issues, news items and random facts that have recently been floating around in my head. By the way, thanks to everyone who posted their comments on the cheating issue...I'm happy that I was able to get an intelligent conversation started.
* Interesting to see a White Sox fan actually admit that A.J. Pierzynski's "steal" of first base during last year's ALCS should be considered cheating. Of course, Random Thoughts commenter "My Wife" seems to think that practically everything is cheating. After reading her truly-passionate comments, it looks as though I am going to have to permanently cancel my plans to discuss the possibility of including an "Andrei Kirilenko provision" in our marriage
* And what timing...just when Anna Benson has filed for divorce from hubby Kris.
* Okay, okay...I promise. If I ever get to play euchre with Jessica Alba I won't renege. And I'll remind her that it is cheating to put on extra layers of clothing before starting any other card games.
* Heard an excellent interview with White Sox pitcher Brandon McCarthy on the radio the other day (McCarthy, by the way, is one baseball player that, testing or no-testing, we know definitively has never tried steroids). Seems like a truly genuine, good guy. McCarthy was asked all the usual bullcrap questions, inlcuding "what is the best part about being in the major leagues" (to which he replied financial security) and eventually the topic turned to new centerfielder Brian Anderson. Apparently, Anderson marches to the beat of his own drummer and fashions himself the 2006 version of all-Chicago womanizer Mark Grace. McCarthy stated that he likes to hang out with Anderson because he is bound to get "splashback." You see, Anderson, apparently was asked the same "best part about the major leagues" question, and instead of a cliched answer like "financial security" or "achieving your dream," the ultra-honest Anderson replied that the best part is all the tail that he now gets. It is nice to know that baseball's answer to Colin Farrell resides in the south side.
* Something tells me that on the north side, Weasley is not having quite as much luck.
* Insiders report that Ozzie and Sox management are really concerned about closer Bobby Jenks' inability to put down the Krispy Kremes. In fact, rumor has it, that the uniforms department is trying to dig up a couple of old Carlos Castillo jerseys for him to wear.
* Why in the heck am I referencing Carlos Castillo when no White Sox fans (except "my wife") read this? I'd have better luck getting a nod of understanding by mentioning Mike Harkey.
* If Jenks' binge continues, Ozzie is going to need to grow longer arms for his traditional call-to-the-pen.
* Aramis hit another home run yesterday, a three-run shot in the 1st inning. Alas, his recent two game stretch during which he went a combined 3-7 from the plate has lowered his batting average to .538.
* Yes, I did see that the Cubs has officially renamed the overrated bench seats that lie just outside the outfield walls as the "Bud Light Bleachers." Why not just go ahead and sell everything? How about the Cusb offense brought to you by the Youth Hockey Association of America, where there is no hitting?
* Hey, I just heard that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.
* From the "you probably missed it" category...Buffalo Grove High School alum and current Notre Dame safety Tom Zbikowski has been granted permission by Notre Dame and the NCAA to make his professional boxing debut on June 10 at Madison Square Garden. Now before you question how Zbikowski can accept money as a professional boxer, but the NCAA flatly denied professional snow boarder Jeremy Bloom's request to be allowed to play football at the University of Colorado, let me remind you that the NCAA allows athletes to make money professionally in other sports as long as they do not accept endorsements. Looks like the Cubs will have to rethink their plans for the Tom Zbikowski sponsored "drunk frat guys who really do not care about the Cubs and just want to fight" section in the "Bud Light Bleachers."
* The Bulls play the Bobcats tonight in a crucial game should Scott Skiles' club wish to earn the right to get swept by the Pistons in the first round of the playoffs. Wait a minute, why in the heck am I wasting valuable blog space writing about this?
*Since the NBA is complaining about equal time rights in the Random Thoughts, I offer you this statistic...Kobe Bryant has missed at least 20 shots in a game 12 times this year (including missing 24 shots three different times). He has missed at least 17 shots in a game, 25 times!!! Nice to see Phil Jackson sticking to the team concept. What would the Sioux chieftains say?
* Aren't you delighted that I am willing to do all this one-of-a-kind research for you?
* Wierd, wierd, but true, coincidence: I'm currently reading the outstanding book "The Last Dance" by well-known author John Feinstein (author of Bob Knight's book, Season on the Brink). In the first chapter, Feinstein talks about how Roy Williams angered Carolina fans by refusing to take the job in 2000. He then labels Williams as the "Coach-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Williams, of course, was, at the time, the coach of the school that plays its home games at Phog Allen Field House in Lawrence, Kansas. Completely true. That's kinda spooky, eh budday?
* Sorry, I just went Canadian on you for a second there. Hey, I just can't get enough of the exciting NHL right now!!!! I'm hugging my Barry Melrose bobble head doll as we speak.
* ESPN presented its "All Time NCAA Basketball Tournament" on Wednesday night. I still can't figure out whether it was the biggest waste of three hours of television programming since the six unforgettable episodes of Saved By the Bell: The College Years, or whether it was actually kind of cool. For those of you who missed it (and I suspect that includes all seven of you), 65 teams were seeded and bracketed and fans got to vote on who would win each game, up until the 1982 North Carolina Tar Heels were pronounced champions. What was really odd was that ESPN assembled quite a group of experts (Jay Bilas, Nolan Richardson, Jim Calhoun, etc) who commented on the winners like the games had actually been played. They would announce that the 1985 Georgetown Hoyas defeated the 1980 Louisville Cardinals and then someone would say something like "well, Georgetown's pressure defense really caused havoc with the flow of Louisville's offense and the Cardinals' bench played poorly in the loss." Huh? What they should have said is "looks like there are more dorks in Washington D.C. on their computers tonight," "or looks like all the folks in Louisville are too busy marrying their cousins to vote."
* ESPN's grand graphic for the tournament, consisted of a number of floating individual team logos. There was the Carolina ram, the blue Duke 'D," the IU candlesticks, and the UK symbolizing Kentucky. Can somebody please explain to me, however, what the Illinois 'I' was doing in there?
* I am happy to report that Air Force did not make the field of 65.
* By the way, '82 Carolina winning over the last team to go undefeated throughout an entire season in the final of the tournament is a load of crap. The General's Hoosiers whould crush the Heels. Looks like the fine folks of Southern Indiana have to graduate from their VIC 20's and technologically enter the 21st century. It's called the in-ter-net.
* As loing as I am ripping on commenter Jeff C's favorite school, can somebody please tell me what type of pictures Dee Brown has of the various members of the national sports media? Last year, he was named the player of the year, by some foolish publication and, this year, he is the top vote-getter on the All-American second team? It may surprise you to learn that I actually like Dee, but saying he is overrated is like saying that Rex the Wonder Dog will get hurt at some point next season. Both are points that you really do not want to argue with.
* This morning on Mike & Mike, Bill Walton went on an uninterrupted, 12-minute, stream-of-consciousness discourse about UCLA's return to the Final Four. Somehow he managed to get Jerry Garcia, mexican food, and the military establishment into the dissertation, ultimately concluding that UCLA's trip to the Final Four this year is evidence that the "curse of March 23" has finally been broken and that UCLA can now rightfully reclaim its standing as college basketball royalty (apparently, UCLA lost a heart-breaker on that date that he has not gotten over) (and talk about a stream of consciousness run-on). Uh Bill, I don't want to rain on your parade, but didn't UCLA win the championship in 1995? I mean, who can forget George Zidek?
* Bill also compared Gonezaga coach Mark Few to John Wooden which begs the question...does he take his morning coffee with LSD or PCP?
* Speaking of John Wooden, recent comments by the Wizard of Westwood truly help illustrate the importance of high-school basketball in Wooden's home state of Indiana. Before taking the reigns at UCLA, Wooden was a high-school coach at South Bend Central. Wooden now says that he would trade at least three of his NCAA championships at UCLA for just one Indiana HS title.
* So South Carolina won the NIT for a second consecutive year. Great. Talk about a victory that means absolutely nothing. Kind of like Cubs' games in August.
* Sheesh, we are still more than two days from the opener and already I am about as optimistic as a live cat in a Shanghai market.
* May I remind you that Ronny Cedeno is the Cubs' shortstop, Glendon Rusch is the #2 starter and a trade for Vladimir Guerrero is not imminent. Although, I hear that Sammy Sosa is not doing anything right now.
* Aren't we all just delighted that Tony Skinn gets his opportunity to play in the Final Four. I'm not going to once again go over my distaste for the way that the media has handled Skinn's "lack of judgement," but I do want to remind everyone that there is a right way to handle a kid who intentionally attempts to injure another player. As some of you are aware, Oregon's Aaron Brooks threw a vicious forearm directly into the nose of Washington's Ryan Appleby in a Pac 10 tournament game. He was immediately thrown out of the game and automatically suspended for the next game. The Pac 10 has now also suspended Brooks for the first game of next season. Believing that the punishment is still not severe enough, Oregon has suspended Brooks for the Ducks' game at Washington next year, to be played in Seattle. Oh yeah, did I mention that Brooks hails from the Emerald City? Bravo Oregon!
* UCLA backup center Lorenzo Mata reportedly broke his nose during practice yesterday. This means, and I say this with absolutely no malice in my heart, that the ugliest guy to take the court in Indianapolis on Saturday will now have to wear a mask. Now you know why I said "reportedly."
* LSU 62, UCLA 59
* George Mason 78, Florida 77 (Thanks to "My Wife" and her dropping of the hammer, its not like the Erin Andrews effect means anything anymore)
* Mason ain't really gonna win the game. Reverse the teams, please (and then watch me delete this sentence should Gunston's guys pull off another upset)
* Finally, the WWE has invaded Rosemont for Sunday night's Wrestlemania!!! Free HGH to the first 10,000 through the turnstiles. Oh crap, looks like Sammy Sosa is busy after all.
Have a great weekend!!!!
* Interesting to see a White Sox fan actually admit that A.J. Pierzynski's "steal" of first base during last year's ALCS should be considered cheating. Of course, Random Thoughts commenter "My Wife" seems to think that practically everything is cheating. After reading her truly-passionate comments, it looks as though I am going to have to permanently cancel my plans to discuss the possibility of including an "Andrei Kirilenko provision" in our marriage
* And what timing...just when Anna Benson has filed for divorce from hubby Kris.
* Okay, okay...I promise. If I ever get to play euchre with Jessica Alba I won't renege. And I'll remind her that it is cheating to put on extra layers of clothing before starting any other card games.
* Heard an excellent interview with White Sox pitcher Brandon McCarthy on the radio the other day (McCarthy, by the way, is one baseball player that, testing or no-testing, we know definitively has never tried steroids). Seems like a truly genuine, good guy. McCarthy was asked all the usual bullcrap questions, inlcuding "what is the best part about being in the major leagues" (to which he replied financial security) and eventually the topic turned to new centerfielder Brian Anderson. Apparently, Anderson marches to the beat of his own drummer and fashions himself the 2006 version of all-Chicago womanizer Mark Grace. McCarthy stated that he likes to hang out with Anderson because he is bound to get "splashback." You see, Anderson, apparently was asked the same "best part about the major leagues" question, and instead of a cliched answer like "financial security" or "achieving your dream," the ultra-honest Anderson replied that the best part is all the tail that he now gets. It is nice to know that baseball's answer to Colin Farrell resides in the south side.
* Something tells me that on the north side, Weasley is not having quite as much luck.
* Insiders report that Ozzie and Sox management are really concerned about closer Bobby Jenks' inability to put down the Krispy Kremes. In fact, rumor has it, that the uniforms department is trying to dig up a couple of old Carlos Castillo jerseys for him to wear.
* Why in the heck am I referencing Carlos Castillo when no White Sox fans (except "my wife") read this? I'd have better luck getting a nod of understanding by mentioning Mike Harkey.
* If Jenks' binge continues, Ozzie is going to need to grow longer arms for his traditional call-to-the-pen.
* Aramis hit another home run yesterday, a three-run shot in the 1st inning. Alas, his recent two game stretch during which he went a combined 3-7 from the plate has lowered his batting average to .538.
* Yes, I did see that the Cubs has officially renamed the overrated bench seats that lie just outside the outfield walls as the "Bud Light Bleachers." Why not just go ahead and sell everything? How about the Cusb offense brought to you by the Youth Hockey Association of America, where there is no hitting?
* Hey, I just heard that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.
* From the "you probably missed it" category...Buffalo Grove High School alum and current Notre Dame safety Tom Zbikowski has been granted permission by Notre Dame and the NCAA to make his professional boxing debut on June 10 at Madison Square Garden. Now before you question how Zbikowski can accept money as a professional boxer, but the NCAA flatly denied professional snow boarder Jeremy Bloom's request to be allowed to play football at the University of Colorado, let me remind you that the NCAA allows athletes to make money professionally in other sports as long as they do not accept endorsements. Looks like the Cubs will have to rethink their plans for the Tom Zbikowski sponsored "drunk frat guys who really do not care about the Cubs and just want to fight" section in the "Bud Light Bleachers."
* The Bulls play the Bobcats tonight in a crucial game should Scott Skiles' club wish to earn the right to get swept by the Pistons in the first round of the playoffs. Wait a minute, why in the heck am I wasting valuable blog space writing about this?
*Since the NBA is complaining about equal time rights in the Random Thoughts, I offer you this statistic...Kobe Bryant has missed at least 20 shots in a game 12 times this year (including missing 24 shots three different times). He has missed at least 17 shots in a game, 25 times!!! Nice to see Phil Jackson sticking to the team concept. What would the Sioux chieftains say?
* Aren't you delighted that I am willing to do all this one-of-a-kind research for you?
* Wierd, wierd, but true, coincidence: I'm currently reading the outstanding book "The Last Dance" by well-known author John Feinstein (author of Bob Knight's book, Season on the Brink). In the first chapter, Feinstein talks about how Roy Williams angered Carolina fans by refusing to take the job in 2000. He then labels Williams as the "Coach-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Williams, of course, was, at the time, the coach of the school that plays its home games at Phog Allen Field House in Lawrence, Kansas. Completely true. That's kinda spooky, eh budday?
* Sorry, I just went Canadian on you for a second there. Hey, I just can't get enough of the exciting NHL right now!!!! I'm hugging my Barry Melrose bobble head doll as we speak.
* ESPN presented its "All Time NCAA Basketball Tournament" on Wednesday night. I still can't figure out whether it was the biggest waste of three hours of television programming since the six unforgettable episodes of Saved By the Bell: The College Years, or whether it was actually kind of cool. For those of you who missed it (and I suspect that includes all seven of you), 65 teams were seeded and bracketed and fans got to vote on who would win each game, up until the 1982 North Carolina Tar Heels were pronounced champions. What was really odd was that ESPN assembled quite a group of experts (Jay Bilas, Nolan Richardson, Jim Calhoun, etc) who commented on the winners like the games had actually been played. They would announce that the 1985 Georgetown Hoyas defeated the 1980 Louisville Cardinals and then someone would say something like "well, Georgetown's pressure defense really caused havoc with the flow of Louisville's offense and the Cardinals' bench played poorly in the loss." Huh? What they should have said is "looks like there are more dorks in Washington D.C. on their computers tonight," "or looks like all the folks in Louisville are too busy marrying their cousins to vote."
* ESPN's grand graphic for the tournament, consisted of a number of floating individual team logos. There was the Carolina ram, the blue Duke 'D," the IU candlesticks, and the UK symbolizing Kentucky. Can somebody please explain to me, however, what the Illinois 'I' was doing in there?
* I am happy to report that Air Force did not make the field of 65.
* By the way, '82 Carolina winning over the last team to go undefeated throughout an entire season in the final of the tournament is a load of crap. The General's Hoosiers whould crush the Heels. Looks like the fine folks of Southern Indiana have to graduate from their VIC 20's and technologically enter the 21st century. It's called the in-ter-net.
* As loing as I am ripping on commenter Jeff C's favorite school, can somebody please tell me what type of pictures Dee Brown has of the various members of the national sports media? Last year, he was named the player of the year, by some foolish publication and, this year, he is the top vote-getter on the All-American second team? It may surprise you to learn that I actually like Dee, but saying he is overrated is like saying that Rex the Wonder Dog will get hurt at some point next season. Both are points that you really do not want to argue with.
* This morning on Mike & Mike, Bill Walton went on an uninterrupted, 12-minute, stream-of-consciousness discourse about UCLA's return to the Final Four. Somehow he managed to get Jerry Garcia, mexican food, and the military establishment into the dissertation, ultimately concluding that UCLA's trip to the Final Four this year is evidence that the "curse of March 23" has finally been broken and that UCLA can now rightfully reclaim its standing as college basketball royalty (apparently, UCLA lost a heart-breaker on that date that he has not gotten over) (and talk about a stream of consciousness run-on). Uh Bill, I don't want to rain on your parade, but didn't UCLA win the championship in 1995? I mean, who can forget George Zidek?
* Bill also compared Gonezaga coach Mark Few to John Wooden which begs the question...does he take his morning coffee with LSD or PCP?
* Speaking of John Wooden, recent comments by the Wizard of Westwood truly help illustrate the importance of high-school basketball in Wooden's home state of Indiana. Before taking the reigns at UCLA, Wooden was a high-school coach at South Bend Central. Wooden now says that he would trade at least three of his NCAA championships at UCLA for just one Indiana HS title.
* So South Carolina won the NIT for a second consecutive year. Great. Talk about a victory that means absolutely nothing. Kind of like Cubs' games in August.
* Sheesh, we are still more than two days from the opener and already I am about as optimistic as a live cat in a Shanghai market.
* May I remind you that Ronny Cedeno is the Cubs' shortstop, Glendon Rusch is the #2 starter and a trade for Vladimir Guerrero is not imminent. Although, I hear that Sammy Sosa is not doing anything right now.
* Aren't we all just delighted that Tony Skinn gets his opportunity to play in the Final Four. I'm not going to once again go over my distaste for the way that the media has handled Skinn's "lack of judgement," but I do want to remind everyone that there is a right way to handle a kid who intentionally attempts to injure another player. As some of you are aware, Oregon's Aaron Brooks threw a vicious forearm directly into the nose of Washington's Ryan Appleby in a Pac 10 tournament game. He was immediately thrown out of the game and automatically suspended for the next game. The Pac 10 has now also suspended Brooks for the first game of next season. Believing that the punishment is still not severe enough, Oregon has suspended Brooks for the Ducks' game at Washington next year, to be played in Seattle. Oh yeah, did I mention that Brooks hails from the Emerald City? Bravo Oregon!
* UCLA backup center Lorenzo Mata reportedly broke his nose during practice yesterday. This means, and I say this with absolutely no malice in my heart, that the ugliest guy to take the court in Indianapolis on Saturday will now have to wear a mask. Now you know why I said "reportedly."
* LSU 62, UCLA 59
* George Mason 78, Florida 77 (Thanks to "My Wife" and her dropping of the hammer, its not like the Erin Andrews effect means anything anymore)
* Mason ain't really gonna win the game. Reverse the teams, please (and then watch me delete this sentence should Gunston's guys pull off another upset)
* Finally, the WWE has invaded Rosemont for Sunday night's Wrestlemania!!! Free HGH to the first 10,000 through the turnstiles. Oh crap, looks like Sammy Sosa is busy after all.
Have a great weekend!!!!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
The Plague Upon the House of Baseball
Well, I do believe that you have been patient long enough. A few of you have asked me to write about the black cloud that continues to hover not only over the glorious sport of baseball, but over all of the sporting world. No, I am not talking about the truly-frightening possibility that Chris Berman could, at any minute, come down and kill us all. I am, of course, talking about the plague upon the house of baseball. I am, of course, talking about steroids.
I have put this off for long enough. I have beaten the Gunston joke to death. I have probably bored you all to tears with incessant chatter about Iniana, their inability to play defense and their coaching search that only myself, Lori and Tiffany probably truly care about. I have typed the word Hofstra more times than I ever imagined possible. You have suffered and you shall be rewarded.
With today's announcement that former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell will head up an investigation into the use of steriods in baseball, the time has come. The time for the Random Thoughts to tackle THE issue that has been simmering, if not directly at the surface, then just slightly below. Steroids.
And will it come as any real suprise that my inital reaction to the controversy is "whatever." Don't get me wrong. I fully recognize the disturbing impact that steroid use by our sports heroes can have on all the little kiddies out there. I know that I should be concerned with the health and well being of the athletes that we grew up idolizing. I appreciate that the purity of the game has been compromised to some degree.
Look, it's too late to go back and change history. Until Dr. Emmett Brown comes along with his DeLoren and a pocketful of plutonium, there is really nothing we can do.
In my opinion (hey, I'm a lawyer. Gotta include that in there), Mark McGwire did steroids. Gary Sheffield did steroids. Brady Anderson did steroids. Sammy Sosa did steroids. Miguel Tejada did steroids. Barry Bonds did steroids. Lots and lots of steroids. Heck, for all I know Keith Moreland may have done steroids.
Shoot, I do not even need the legal disclaimer to talk about Jason Giambi and Rafael Palmeiro.
So, the big question now is...what are we going to do about it? Put an asterisk next to the records? Suspend those players who are still playing? Send them to their bedrooms without any supper? Tell them they can't have the sleepover that they were soooo looking forward to?*** (see below)
Here's what we should do...nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Okay, maybe nothing is a tad too strong. But let's not get carried away. Let's just admit that there has been a problem, put an intense, strict testing system in place with a penalty structure that would qualify anyone who risks their careers by continuing to use as a certifiable candidate for the nut farm, and concentrate on educating America's youth on the dangers of steroids. Asterisks? Suspensions? No supper? Please...
First of all, most of the performance enhancing substances that we suspect our ballfield heroes of having gotten involved with were NOT illegal when they were taken. "Yes, Mr. Zarling. I know that you were only going 35 miles an hour when you 'accidentally' ran over a drunk Todd Wellemeyer with your car and the posted speed limit was 65, but we have now lowered the speed limit to 15 mph, so it's off to the slammer with you. Be sure to say hi to Bryan Robinson and Alonzo Spellman for me."
Second, how can we be sure that steroids or HGH were responsible for Sammy's or Mark's or Augie's home runs. Maybe it was the Flintstone vitamins. Maybe it was Pepsi. Maybe he ate a funky bean burrito at Taco Bell. Who in the heck knows the true impact of performance enhancing drugs? Do we say that all home runs that cleared the wall by less than 15 feet are illegitimate, but all that smashed windows across the street should count because they probably would have cleared the fence regardless?
There is no clean and simple way. And we should not even attempt to look for one.
But Dan...we are talking about the most hallowed record in all of sports. More hallowed than Pete Rose's career hits. More hallowed than Kareen Abdul Jabaar's points. More hallowed than Ron Coomer's double plays hit into.
So? How do we know that Hank Aaron was clean? Or Roger Maris? I mean, how do we really know?
Yeah, but Dan, clearly there was not the advancements in performance enhancing substances in the 20's, 50's, 60's that there are today. What an unfair advantage today's players have. Of course, they are going to hit more home runs...
True, but don't you think that Barry Bonds would have liked to have played at the Polo Grounds where it was a measly 258 feet to the bleachers in right field? Sheesh, Neifi Perez may have hit 30 dingers a year there.
But Dan...there is clearly an unlevel playing field. The pitchers could not have possibly be effective against the modern day batting behemouths. The hitters these days look like He-Man action figures...
Do you really think that the pitchers have never heard of this stuff? Why is it that th average velocity fell sharply last year? Pitchers who used to throw in the mid-90's were topping out in the high 80's. Do you honestly believe that the pitchers weren't on the juice? Further, have spitballs gone the way of the rabbit-eared televison?
I think you get my point...
One of the most wonderful things about baseball is that it is not uniform. Stadiums are configured differently. Some players have the luxury of facing Kansas City Royals' pitching 18 times a year. Others may catch a break and play a game with the wind blowing out in Wrigley and Mike Morgan on the hill. Some have to contend with the south side distraction and fear of random nut jobs charging the field. There are a lot of factors that enter the equation.
Performance enhancing drugs are no doubt a BIG one. I am not denying that. But to act like it is the only factor...to act like players in the past did not enjoy advantages...to act like the glory years of baseball truly consisted of all-American young men, eating whole cows for dinner, rescuing cats from trees and having enough energy to smile the grandest smile for the local press is foolish.
One man's opinion.
Cheating? It's cheating, you say?
Well, where do you draw the line? So steroids use is definitely cheating, spitball throwing is cheating, but is most often forgivable, but the hidden ball trick may not be? What about stealing signs? Mark Buehrle may argue that it is. Mark Teixeira may argue that it is not. What about when a runner on second relays signs to a hitter ?
Gene Upshaw, who is now the President of the NFL Players Association once said this about the Raiders of the 1970's..."if you were not cheating, you were not trying." When told of this comment, Mike & Mike on EPSN Radio did not bat an eye. No reaction at all. Yet, steroids currently monopolizes their show (aside from the mandatory hour during which Greenberg shamelessly pimps his book).
Torry Holt was a guest and spent 20 minutes talking about his newly patented receiving gloves. Does wearing such super-duper gloves give the receiver an unfair advantage? What about wearing any gloves period? Isn't the use of such gloves technically taking the game out of the complete control of the athletic ability and talent of the player?
Look, I am not saying that Holt's gloves should be banned. And I am certainly not saying that wearing gloves, no matter how advanced, is even in the same ballpark as taking steroids. I just think that if we are going to make an argument that enhancing one's performance is bad, then one must look at all sides of the issue and be prepared to be overun by the worms that are sure to come spilling out of the can.
Finally, to test how ridiculous I can make this, do we need to ban those stupid looking shoes that were sold in the back of sports magazines that promised to make you jump higher? (Oh, come on, you know the ones I am talking about. With the big pads under the toes.) How about Blu Blockers?
Investigate the use of steroids all you want, Bud. Institute the tough testing policy. Penalize the violators. Teach the children. Demand the return of the purity of the game. But leave the past be the past. Don't try and change it.
Unless you can make Rick Greenspan hire John Calipari instead.
* What do you think baseball should do? Please comment!!!
* A few of you have e-mailed me to make sure that I know that Iniana head coach Kelvin Sampson is full-blooded Lumbee Indian. Thanks for the note. But I take my cue from the short, bald barber in the movie Coming to America ("If his momma named him Clay. I'm calling him Clay"). If the Floyd Keith, the Director of the Black Coaches Association, calls him black. I'm calling him black.
***Today's trivia. This is a reference to a 70's TV show. What show and who was the character so concerned about the potential cancellation of her plans?
***Past trivia: Tuesday: Meatballs was the movie and the actor was Bill Murray. Wednesday: Bobby Hurley of Duke and Eric Riley of Michigan appeared as members of the IU team in the movie Blue Chips.
I have put this off for long enough. I have beaten the Gunston joke to death. I have probably bored you all to tears with incessant chatter about Iniana, their inability to play defense and their coaching search that only myself, Lori and Tiffany probably truly care about. I have typed the word Hofstra more times than I ever imagined possible. You have suffered and you shall be rewarded.
With today's announcement that former Senate Majority Leader George Mitchell will head up an investigation into the use of steriods in baseball, the time has come. The time for the Random Thoughts to tackle THE issue that has been simmering, if not directly at the surface, then just slightly below. Steroids.
And will it come as any real suprise that my inital reaction to the controversy is "whatever." Don't get me wrong. I fully recognize the disturbing impact that steroid use by our sports heroes can have on all the little kiddies out there. I know that I should be concerned with the health and well being of the athletes that we grew up idolizing. I appreciate that the purity of the game has been compromised to some degree.
Look, it's too late to go back and change history. Until Dr. Emmett Brown comes along with his DeLoren and a pocketful of plutonium, there is really nothing we can do.
In my opinion (hey, I'm a lawyer. Gotta include that in there), Mark McGwire did steroids. Gary Sheffield did steroids. Brady Anderson did steroids. Sammy Sosa did steroids. Miguel Tejada did steroids. Barry Bonds did steroids. Lots and lots of steroids. Heck, for all I know Keith Moreland may have done steroids.
Shoot, I do not even need the legal disclaimer to talk about Jason Giambi and Rafael Palmeiro.
So, the big question now is...what are we going to do about it? Put an asterisk next to the records? Suspend those players who are still playing? Send them to their bedrooms without any supper? Tell them they can't have the sleepover that they were soooo looking forward to?*** (see below)
Here's what we should do...nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Okay, maybe nothing is a tad too strong. But let's not get carried away. Let's just admit that there has been a problem, put an intense, strict testing system in place with a penalty structure that would qualify anyone who risks their careers by continuing to use as a certifiable candidate for the nut farm, and concentrate on educating America's youth on the dangers of steroids. Asterisks? Suspensions? No supper? Please...
First of all, most of the performance enhancing substances that we suspect our ballfield heroes of having gotten involved with were NOT illegal when they were taken. "Yes, Mr. Zarling. I know that you were only going 35 miles an hour when you 'accidentally' ran over a drunk Todd Wellemeyer with your car and the posted speed limit was 65, but we have now lowered the speed limit to 15 mph, so it's off to the slammer with you. Be sure to say hi to Bryan Robinson and Alonzo Spellman for me."
Second, how can we be sure that steroids or HGH were responsible for Sammy's or Mark's or Augie's home runs. Maybe it was the Flintstone vitamins. Maybe it was Pepsi. Maybe he ate a funky bean burrito at Taco Bell. Who in the heck knows the true impact of performance enhancing drugs? Do we say that all home runs that cleared the wall by less than 15 feet are illegitimate, but all that smashed windows across the street should count because they probably would have cleared the fence regardless?
There is no clean and simple way. And we should not even attempt to look for one.
But Dan...we are talking about the most hallowed record in all of sports. More hallowed than Pete Rose's career hits. More hallowed than Kareen Abdul Jabaar's points. More hallowed than Ron Coomer's double plays hit into.
So? How do we know that Hank Aaron was clean? Or Roger Maris? I mean, how do we really know?
Yeah, but Dan, clearly there was not the advancements in performance enhancing substances in the 20's, 50's, 60's that there are today. What an unfair advantage today's players have. Of course, they are going to hit more home runs...
True, but don't you think that Barry Bonds would have liked to have played at the Polo Grounds where it was a measly 258 feet to the bleachers in right field? Sheesh, Neifi Perez may have hit 30 dingers a year there.
But Dan...there is clearly an unlevel playing field. The pitchers could not have possibly be effective against the modern day batting behemouths. The hitters these days look like He-Man action figures...
Do you really think that the pitchers have never heard of this stuff? Why is it that th average velocity fell sharply last year? Pitchers who used to throw in the mid-90's were topping out in the high 80's. Do you honestly believe that the pitchers weren't on the juice? Further, have spitballs gone the way of the rabbit-eared televison?
I think you get my point...
One of the most wonderful things about baseball is that it is not uniform. Stadiums are configured differently. Some players have the luxury of facing Kansas City Royals' pitching 18 times a year. Others may catch a break and play a game with the wind blowing out in Wrigley and Mike Morgan on the hill. Some have to contend with the south side distraction and fear of random nut jobs charging the field. There are a lot of factors that enter the equation.
Performance enhancing drugs are no doubt a BIG one. I am not denying that. But to act like it is the only factor...to act like players in the past did not enjoy advantages...to act like the glory years of baseball truly consisted of all-American young men, eating whole cows for dinner, rescuing cats from trees and having enough energy to smile the grandest smile for the local press is foolish.
One man's opinion.
Cheating? It's cheating, you say?
Well, where do you draw the line? So steroids use is definitely cheating, spitball throwing is cheating, but is most often forgivable, but the hidden ball trick may not be? What about stealing signs? Mark Buehrle may argue that it is. Mark Teixeira may argue that it is not. What about when a runner on second relays signs to a hitter ?
Gene Upshaw, who is now the President of the NFL Players Association once said this about the Raiders of the 1970's..."if you were not cheating, you were not trying." When told of this comment, Mike & Mike on EPSN Radio did not bat an eye. No reaction at all. Yet, steroids currently monopolizes their show (aside from the mandatory hour during which Greenberg shamelessly pimps his book).
Torry Holt was a guest and spent 20 minutes talking about his newly patented receiving gloves. Does wearing such super-duper gloves give the receiver an unfair advantage? What about wearing any gloves period? Isn't the use of such gloves technically taking the game out of the complete control of the athletic ability and talent of the player?
Look, I am not saying that Holt's gloves should be banned. And I am certainly not saying that wearing gloves, no matter how advanced, is even in the same ballpark as taking steroids. I just think that if we are going to make an argument that enhancing one's performance is bad, then one must look at all sides of the issue and be prepared to be overun by the worms that are sure to come spilling out of the can.
Finally, to test how ridiculous I can make this, do we need to ban those stupid looking shoes that were sold in the back of sports magazines that promised to make you jump higher? (Oh, come on, you know the ones I am talking about. With the big pads under the toes.) How about Blu Blockers?
Investigate the use of steroids all you want, Bud. Institute the tough testing policy. Penalize the violators. Teach the children. Demand the return of the purity of the game. But leave the past be the past. Don't try and change it.
Unless you can make Rick Greenspan hire John Calipari instead.
* What do you think baseball should do? Please comment!!!
* A few of you have e-mailed me to make sure that I know that Iniana head coach Kelvin Sampson is full-blooded Lumbee Indian. Thanks for the note. But I take my cue from the short, bald barber in the movie Coming to America ("If his momma named him Clay. I'm calling him Clay"). If the Floyd Keith, the Director of the Black Coaches Association, calls him black. I'm calling him black.
***Today's trivia. This is a reference to a 70's TV show. What show and who was the character so concerned about the potential cancellation of her plans?
***Past trivia: Tuesday: Meatballs was the movie and the actor was Bill Murray. Wednesday: Bobby Hurley of Duke and Eric Riley of Michigan appeared as members of the IU team in the movie Blue Chips.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
"I Saw Her Today At the Reception..."
Twenty-four hours later, Kelvin Sampson is apparently still in line to become the next head basketball coach at Iniana University and the more I think about it, the less it makes sense.
Look, I am not going to bore you with the details concerning alleged recruiting violations while Sampson was at Oklahoma or by talking about reportedly embarrassingly low graduation rates. I'm not going to complain about the hiring of a coach who has a below-.500 career record in the NCAA Tournament, including recent losses to powerhouses Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Manhattan and Indiana State. I'm not even going to mention the fact that one of Mike Davis' finest moments came against Sampson and his Sooners in the 2002 Final Four (whoops, it looks like I did mention it). What I am going to try to do is explain how this could have happened. How names like Calipari and Donovan and Matta could be bandied about only to have IU wind up with a man who brings to Bloomington a lot more baggage than a trunk of French blue shirts (does the man even own a white shirt? You Big 12 fans know what I am talking about...)
You know what? I think the answer is simple. It pains me to say this, but this is simply the best that Iniana could do. In yesterday's post, I mentioned that reality is not always pretty and so it is the case with the present state of Hsier Basketball (with Sampson and his grind it out style, I fear that there will be no "o" in Hsier anymore). The athletic department is deep in the red. The basketball facilities would need an upgrade to qualify as second-rate. The team has not exactly had a run of success over the past four years. Truth be told, the words "Iniana University" simply do not carry the same weight anymore. Has it really been that long since IU was the chosen "scary," "all-time great program" that the Western University Dolphins had to get past to prove that they were a top-tier program in the movie Blue Chips? (Or were the producers so enamored with the acting skills of Matt Nover that they had to include the Hsiers?)*** --trivia question below.
ESPN and the Louisville Courier Journal's Pat Forde reported today that he spoke with an unnamed mid-major coach who is considered a true up-and-comer, but who did not even return a call from an IU rep about the coaching vacancy. The coach's response, "That's not a great job right now."
So, it is my belief that IU wanted a Calipari. They wanted Mike Montgomery to leave the Golden State Warriors and return to the college ranks (with Calber Cheaney by his side as an assistant). They wanted Gunston to trade his George Mason green-and-gold for Hsier Cream-and-Crimson. They may even have wanted the World's Largest Drum to make the trek down I-65, across 465 and down route 37 to the land of John Mellencamp, limestone quarries and kick ass bread sticks from Pizza Express.
But they wound up stuck with a coach who Oklahoma was half pushing out the door.
Simply stated, given their financial liabilities and facilties that would embarrass New Trier, it was the best they could do. Kelvin Sampson was #1,334 on my list of candidates and may have been even lower on Iniana athletic director Rick Greenspan's. But, in the words of Mick Jagger, "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find. You get a coach with enough baggage to fill a 747, who may subject your program to penalties for past violations, who does not graduate players, and who performs as well in the NCAA tournament as J.J. Redick." (That is how the song goes, right?)
It makes me so depressed, I need to talk about happier things. How about the Chicago National League Ballclub?
* So, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood were put on the DL. Looks like the Des Moines Iowa Tourism Bureau can once again feel free to include in their guidebook "Come see Kerry Wood and Mark Prior prep themselves for an injury-free six days with the big league club." It is becoming an annual event, like the soon to-be-announced "what in the hell do you mean we were not able to pawn off our crappy state university basketball coach on Iniana and they selected Kelvin Sampson instead" day. (Yes, I know that the Prior and Wood line is recycled. Hey, I've got at least two new readers to take care of. Besides, I like it...)
* With Prior and Wood nursing their yeast infections, Glendon Rusch has been announced as the starting pitcher for game # 2. Yes, it is that bad. What, is Les Lancaster not available?
* We still do not know, however, who will be the opening day second baseman. Todd Walker is by far the best offensive option, but struggles with the glove. Jerry Hairston is Jerry Hairston. Neifi Perez is still best known in Chicago for his game winning HR for Colorado against the Giants in the final game of the 1998 regular season preserving the Cubs' right to get swept by the Braves in the Divisional playoff series. Anyone want to check and see what Manny Trillo is up to these days?
* Hey give Jim Hendry credit. No, he did not solve the problem with a lack of power at the corner outfield positions. And, no, he did not do much to instill confidence in the bullpen (Howry and Eyre are nice additions, but is that Michael Wuertz and his 14.73 ERA that I see still out there?). But, give the man credit. He was actually able to unload Todd Wellemeyer on the Florida Marlins for two bodies that apparently are functioning. Who exactly did the Cubs get? Does it matter as long as they are not named Felix Heredia or Matt Karchner?
* Whatever happened to Reuben Quevedo?
* There is one peice of good news from Cub Nation that is largely going unnoticed this spring...the sensational offensive numbers being put up by Weasley (Matt Murton) and Aramis Ramirez. Murton is hitting a robust .395 in 43 plate appearances. Ramirez is hitting an other-worldly .543 with 4 HR, 16 RBI and only two strikeouts. I guess it can;t be long before he ends up on the DL with eye strain from watching so many runners circle the bases when Jerome Williams in on the mound.
Finally, Random Thoughts reader Tiffany asks the following...If the team who plays their home games at Phog Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas will now be known as Team Voldemort, does that make Bradley Team Harry Potter? So it shall be...although, I doubt as though the Braves will be mentioned all that often in the coming months.
***Trivia: In the climactic (use of that word ought to thrill Erdman and keep him around for a while) game in the movie Blue Chips, Pete Bell's Western University Dolphins open their season with a home game against the all powerful Iniana Hsiers. In the movie, the Hsiers actually consist of former and then-current IU players (Calbert Chaeney, Jamaal Meeks etc.). There were, however, two players in IU red who were not Iniana past or present players (and actually played major college basketball for other teams). Who were they?
Look, I am not going to bore you with the details concerning alleged recruiting violations while Sampson was at Oklahoma or by talking about reportedly embarrassingly low graduation rates. I'm not going to complain about the hiring of a coach who has a below-.500 career record in the NCAA Tournament, including recent losses to powerhouses Wisconsin-Milwaukee, Manhattan and Indiana State. I'm not even going to mention the fact that one of Mike Davis' finest moments came against Sampson and his Sooners in the 2002 Final Four (whoops, it looks like I did mention it). What I am going to try to do is explain how this could have happened. How names like Calipari and Donovan and Matta could be bandied about only to have IU wind up with a man who brings to Bloomington a lot more baggage than a trunk of French blue shirts (does the man even own a white shirt? You Big 12 fans know what I am talking about...)
You know what? I think the answer is simple. It pains me to say this, but this is simply the best that Iniana could do. In yesterday's post, I mentioned that reality is not always pretty and so it is the case with the present state of Hsier Basketball (with Sampson and his grind it out style, I fear that there will be no "o" in Hsier anymore). The athletic department is deep in the red. The basketball facilities would need an upgrade to qualify as second-rate. The team has not exactly had a run of success over the past four years. Truth be told, the words "Iniana University" simply do not carry the same weight anymore. Has it really been that long since IU was the chosen "scary," "all-time great program" that the Western University Dolphins had to get past to prove that they were a top-tier program in the movie Blue Chips? (Or were the producers so enamored with the acting skills of Matt Nover that they had to include the Hsiers?)*** --trivia question below.
ESPN and the Louisville Courier Journal's Pat Forde reported today that he spoke with an unnamed mid-major coach who is considered a true up-and-comer, but who did not even return a call from an IU rep about the coaching vacancy. The coach's response, "That's not a great job right now."
So, it is my belief that IU wanted a Calipari. They wanted Mike Montgomery to leave the Golden State Warriors and return to the college ranks (with Calber Cheaney by his side as an assistant). They wanted Gunston to trade his George Mason green-and-gold for Hsier Cream-and-Crimson. They may even have wanted the World's Largest Drum to make the trek down I-65, across 465 and down route 37 to the land of John Mellencamp, limestone quarries and kick ass bread sticks from Pizza Express.
But they wound up stuck with a coach who Oklahoma was half pushing out the door.
Simply stated, given their financial liabilities and facilties that would embarrass New Trier, it was the best they could do. Kelvin Sampson was #1,334 on my list of candidates and may have been even lower on Iniana athletic director Rick Greenspan's. But, in the words of Mick Jagger, "you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find. You get a coach with enough baggage to fill a 747, who may subject your program to penalties for past violations, who does not graduate players, and who performs as well in the NCAA tournament as J.J. Redick." (That is how the song goes, right?)
It makes me so depressed, I need to talk about happier things. How about the Chicago National League Ballclub?
* So, Mark Prior and Kerry Wood were put on the DL. Looks like the Des Moines Iowa Tourism Bureau can once again feel free to include in their guidebook "Come see Kerry Wood and Mark Prior prep themselves for an injury-free six days with the big league club." It is becoming an annual event, like the soon to-be-announced "what in the hell do you mean we were not able to pawn off our crappy state university basketball coach on Iniana and they selected Kelvin Sampson instead" day. (Yes, I know that the Prior and Wood line is recycled. Hey, I've got at least two new readers to take care of. Besides, I like it...)
* With Prior and Wood nursing their yeast infections, Glendon Rusch has been announced as the starting pitcher for game # 2. Yes, it is that bad. What, is Les Lancaster not available?
* We still do not know, however, who will be the opening day second baseman. Todd Walker is by far the best offensive option, but struggles with the glove. Jerry Hairston is Jerry Hairston. Neifi Perez is still best known in Chicago for his game winning HR for Colorado against the Giants in the final game of the 1998 regular season preserving the Cubs' right to get swept by the Braves in the Divisional playoff series. Anyone want to check and see what Manny Trillo is up to these days?
* Hey give Jim Hendry credit. No, he did not solve the problem with a lack of power at the corner outfield positions. And, no, he did not do much to instill confidence in the bullpen (Howry and Eyre are nice additions, but is that Michael Wuertz and his 14.73 ERA that I see still out there?). But, give the man credit. He was actually able to unload Todd Wellemeyer on the Florida Marlins for two bodies that apparently are functioning. Who exactly did the Cubs get? Does it matter as long as they are not named Felix Heredia or Matt Karchner?
* Whatever happened to Reuben Quevedo?
* There is one peice of good news from Cub Nation that is largely going unnoticed this spring...the sensational offensive numbers being put up by Weasley (Matt Murton) and Aramis Ramirez. Murton is hitting a robust .395 in 43 plate appearances. Ramirez is hitting an other-worldly .543 with 4 HR, 16 RBI and only two strikeouts. I guess it can;t be long before he ends up on the DL with eye strain from watching so many runners circle the bases when Jerome Williams in on the mound.
Finally, Random Thoughts reader Tiffany asks the following...If the team who plays their home games at Phog Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas will now be known as Team Voldemort, does that make Bradley Team Harry Potter? So it shall be...although, I doubt as though the Braves will be mentioned all that often in the coming months.
***Trivia: In the climactic (use of that word ought to thrill Erdman and keep him around for a while) game in the movie Blue Chips, Pete Bell's Western University Dolphins open their season with a home game against the all powerful Iniana Hsiers. In the movie, the Hsiers actually consist of former and then-current IU players (Calbert Chaeney, Jamaal Meeks etc.). There were, however, two players in IU red who were not Iniana past or present players (and actually played major college basketball for other teams). Who were they?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Wait a Minute...Does This Mean No Gunston?
So, after weeks of speculation, Iniana University has its man. As most of you know, over the last six weeks, it seems as though everyone from John Calipari to John Beilein to John Cusak to Elton John has been mentioned in connection with the Hoosiers' head coaching vacancy. Every day a new rumor reared its ugly head, lighting up the internet chat boards, and triggering a stream of denials from across the country. In fact, just this morning, I told WrigleyBill's wife, a fellow-Hoosier fan and Random Thoughts reader, that I had a feeling that nobody knew what in the heck they were talking about and that my gut was that we were going to be suprised with the choice.
And suprised we are.
There are two very good reasons why former Oklahoma head coach Kelvin Sampson has never been mentioned in the Random Thoughts in connection with the Iniana job and the reasons are quite simple. One...I believe I had Sampson #1,334 on my not-so-short-list (clearly above the World's Largest Drum, but below 7'4 beanpole Ralph Sampson -- in fact, I think I may have had the Boomer Sooner Wagon ahead of Kelvin). Two...I just don't see the connnection. Sampson (Kelvin, that is) has no apparent midwest or Big 10 ties and no ties to IU.
Now, I suppose that I am exaggerating a bit by listing Sampson so low on my list. He has an excellent win percentage at a traditional football school (72%). Further, the man clearly can recruit, having signed five high school players ranked in the Top 75 for 2006. I just think that there were (and are) better options out there.
Of course, there were worse options as well. Way worse. Everyone raise a glass in celebration of the fact that Steve Alford is not bringing his truckload of hairspray to Bloomington. Looks like the southern Indiana rapists will have to find another hero. Cheers!
How this affects the current players, most importantly D.J. White and Robert Vaden, is anyone's guess. As I have mentioned in the past, Vaden and White returning to Iniana is the difference between contending for the Big 10 title and fighting with Northwestern and Minnesota for a seat next to the rats in the conference cellar.
Finally, and I have no interest in being politically correct here so I am just going to come out and say it...I'm very suprised that Iniana selected an African-American. After the racial bashing that Mike Davis endured, I figured that there was little chance that IU would go this route. The fact that I felt this way may be an ugly commentary on society, but reality isn't always pretty.
So, Kelvin Sampson is the new head coach at Iniana. I hope he has years and years of success, but ultimately I can't help but feel let down right now. Kind of like wanting a Death Star Space Station for Christmas and only getting a Landspeeder.
Now if IU can only aspire to become a dominant power on the college basketball landscape like George Mason!
Speaking of George Mason, there has been a lot of discussion about what effect their Final Four run will have on the college basketball landscape. I believe that utlimately it will have little, if any, effect. Those, like ESPN Radio's Harry Teinowitz, who claim that big time recruits are now going to be banging down the door of mid-major schools don't understand the psyche of today's (often moronic) high school athletes. Just as "all the really good looking girls are still going to go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money," all the really good players are still going to go to the high-profile programs. That is just the way it is.
(I recognize that the above reference is awfully obscure. Major kudos to any of you who can identify the actor who spoke that line and the movie from which it is from...post your answer below).
Now keep in mind that Harry Teinowitz is not the world's most-reliable source of sports information. Yesterday, he waxed poetic about "UCLA's Baron Davis' coast-to-coast layup to beat Missouri in the first round of the 1995 Tournament." Harry, it wasn't Baron Davis. It was Tyus Edney. And it wasn't the first round. It was the second. Picky? Maybe...but somebody tell me why this guy is one the air and I'm helping people understand how to label bathroom cleaners.
Finally, after minutes of intense negotiations, we finally have a new official name for the college basketball team that plays its home games at Phog Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas. Arguing that referring to the Jayhawks as the Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named failed miserably, Mrs. Bearister asked that the moniker be dropped. Unwilling to actually call the team by its actual name, I suggested The-Team-Formally-Known-As-The-Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Admitting that this is too long, we finally agreed on Team Voldemort.
Now you can sleep soundly at night knowing that this has finally been settled...
By the way, if IU was so intent on hiring Sampson, shouldn't they have considered hiring George Washington's Karl Hobbs as a co-coach. Kelvin and Hobbs...get it? Boo...hiss...boo...boo!
And suprised we are.
There are two very good reasons why former Oklahoma head coach Kelvin Sampson has never been mentioned in the Random Thoughts in connection with the Iniana job and the reasons are quite simple. One...I believe I had Sampson #1,334 on my not-so-short-list (clearly above the World's Largest Drum, but below 7'4 beanpole Ralph Sampson -- in fact, I think I may have had the Boomer Sooner Wagon ahead of Kelvin). Two...I just don't see the connnection. Sampson (Kelvin, that is) has no apparent midwest or Big 10 ties and no ties to IU.
Now, I suppose that I am exaggerating a bit by listing Sampson so low on my list. He has an excellent win percentage at a traditional football school (72%). Further, the man clearly can recruit, having signed five high school players ranked in the Top 75 for 2006. I just think that there were (and are) better options out there.
Of course, there were worse options as well. Way worse. Everyone raise a glass in celebration of the fact that Steve Alford is not bringing his truckload of hairspray to Bloomington. Looks like the southern Indiana rapists will have to find another hero. Cheers!
How this affects the current players, most importantly D.J. White and Robert Vaden, is anyone's guess. As I have mentioned in the past, Vaden and White returning to Iniana is the difference between contending for the Big 10 title and fighting with Northwestern and Minnesota for a seat next to the rats in the conference cellar.
Finally, and I have no interest in being politically correct here so I am just going to come out and say it...I'm very suprised that Iniana selected an African-American. After the racial bashing that Mike Davis endured, I figured that there was little chance that IU would go this route. The fact that I felt this way may be an ugly commentary on society, but reality isn't always pretty.
So, Kelvin Sampson is the new head coach at Iniana. I hope he has years and years of success, but ultimately I can't help but feel let down right now. Kind of like wanting a Death Star Space Station for Christmas and only getting a Landspeeder.
Now if IU can only aspire to become a dominant power on the college basketball landscape like George Mason!
Speaking of George Mason, there has been a lot of discussion about what effect their Final Four run will have on the college basketball landscape. I believe that utlimately it will have little, if any, effect. Those, like ESPN Radio's Harry Teinowitz, who claim that big time recruits are now going to be banging down the door of mid-major schools don't understand the psyche of today's (often moronic) high school athletes. Just as "all the really good looking girls are still going to go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money," all the really good players are still going to go to the high-profile programs. That is just the way it is.
(I recognize that the above reference is awfully obscure. Major kudos to any of you who can identify the actor who spoke that line and the movie from which it is from...post your answer below).
Now keep in mind that Harry Teinowitz is not the world's most-reliable source of sports information. Yesterday, he waxed poetic about "UCLA's Baron Davis' coast-to-coast layup to beat Missouri in the first round of the 1995 Tournament." Harry, it wasn't Baron Davis. It was Tyus Edney. And it wasn't the first round. It was the second. Picky? Maybe...but somebody tell me why this guy is one the air and I'm helping people understand how to label bathroom cleaners.
Finally, after minutes of intense negotiations, we finally have a new official name for the college basketball team that plays its home games at Phog Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas. Arguing that referring to the Jayhawks as the Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named failed miserably, Mrs. Bearister asked that the moniker be dropped. Unwilling to actually call the team by its actual name, I suggested The-Team-Formally-Known-As-The-Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Admitting that this is too long, we finally agreed on Team Voldemort.
Now you can sleep soundly at night knowing that this has finally been settled...
By the way, if IU was so intent on hiring Sampson, shouldn't they have considered hiring George Washington's Karl Hobbs as a co-coach. Kelvin and Hobbs...get it? Boo...hiss...boo...boo!
Where Did That Come From?
Kelvin Sampson is reportedly the new coach at Indiana. A full post will be coming in a few hours...
Monday, March 27, 2006
What About Hofstra?
Look out Indy!!! Gunston is on his way!!!!
Hey, I cannot believe it either. George Mason is in the Final Four. In men's basketball. Wow. Putting their accomplishment into perspective is not an easy thing to do. This morning on Mike & Mike, they argued whether the Patriots' victory over UConn rates as one of the greatest upsets in sports history. To have such an argument, however, completely misses the point.
It's not so much that George Mason was able to beat UConn. Heck, the old cliche' that any given team can beat any other given team yada, yada, yada is true. What is amazing is the fact that Mason was able to beat Michigan State. And North Carolina. And Wichita State. And UConn. One has to look at the totality of their accomplishment to truly understand how amazing it is.
And it wasn't so much that UConn or Carolina or Michigan State played poorly. George Mason simply played better. They hit the big shots. They played defense when they had to. They didn't punch anyone in the nuts. They were outstanding and there is no reason to believe that their run has to end on Saturday versus Florida.
And to think that they pulled it off while essentially only playing six guys. In fact, during the UConn overtime game, coach Jim Larranaga made his final substitution with more than 10 minutes left in the second half. Kudos to Random Thoughts reader Bearister who noted that the four timeouts that were taken between 3:15 and 2:00 minutes to go in the second half helped a fatigued Mason squad tremendously. The Patriot players were clearly getting tired but were buoyed by the fact that the mandatory under-8:00 timeout did not occur until there was 3:15 to go in the half and that timeout was followed immediately by the mandatory under-4:00 time out. Further. each team called a timeout during the 1:15 stretch giving the Patriot players ample time to catch their breath and get a second wind (not sure how to explain this with any real level of clarity...)
Perhaps I ought to move Gunston up from his current spot at #54,811 on the IU coaching hierarchy list...
So is this USA beats Russia at Lake Placid? Uh, no. But it does have to rank right up there with NC State over Houston in the '83 championship, Villanova over Georgetown in the '85 championship and Danny O'Shea's Little Giants' defeat of big brother Kevin's Cowboys in the what-was-that-town-in-Ohio-called? championship. (By the way, wasn't that super-cool when John Madden, Bruce Smith and Emmitt Smith showed up in town?)
And one must now ask the question...how frickin' good is Hofstra? Let me remind you that the Pride defeated Gunston and his gang twice in the final ten days of the regular season. Somebody mentioned a great idea on Mike & Mike this morning (Seth Davis? Mike Golic? The idiot who schedules book signings during the first round games?). We already have a play-in game. Perhaps, this year, we should have a play-out game pitting Hofstra versus next Monday night's winner.
Other observations from this weekend...
* The best college basketball game of the weekend was not UConn-George Mason, or Texas-LSU. Heck, we could go all the way back to Thursday and Friday and the West Virginia-Texas and Gonezaga-UCLA classics, and still not find a better game than last night's UConn-Georgia regional semifinal in the women's tournament. I was fortunate that the Skin-a-max free weekend preview was last weekend, leaving my TV viewing options open. With nothing else of interest on, I left my TV tuned to ESPN2 while I did work in the basement. I was rewarded by being witness to a game that was spectacular. In the final 30 seconds, the teams made three three-pointers, including an improbable step back, off-balance game winner by UConn's center. The only thing that would have made the game better is if Georgia had made their three-quarter court heave at the buzzer. It hit the front of the rim and bounced harmlessly away. No kidding. As Jack Brickhouse used to say..."One more biscuit for breakfast..."
* Jim Calhoun is a great coach and he was classy following his loss to Mason. That said, there is something about the guy that I just don't like.
* I won't miss not seeing Calhoun in the Final Four. I will miss seeing the Husky cheerleaders (wait, that came out wrong...), I mean, the Connecticut cheerleaders and their little red bows.
* Oh well, I guess we will just have to make do with the Florida pom squad and the UCLA cheerleaders. Not to mention the Old Spice girl...
* Yes, I am trying to avoid talking about the fact that I have called UConn the 2006 NCAA Champions since mid-February, but now have to eat crow...
* Rumor has it that four people nailed the entire Final Four out of more than 3.5 million entrants in ESPN's Tournament Challenge. Two were probably named George Mason. One was GM coach Jim Larranaga and the other, or so he probably claims, was ESPN's insufferable college basketball commentator and know-it-all Doug Gottlieb.
* George Mason was originally a 300-1 shot to win the title at Wynn Las Vegas. According to the folks there, they are aware of only one person who bet the Patriots. The Sports Book also reported that they had a lot of action on Florida before the season started and should the Gators win the title, it will be bad news for the books. The unranked Gators began the season at 75-1.
* Villanova's Randy Foye is that good. I only wish he was about three inches taller.
* Texas' LaMarcus Aldridge is not that good. Hey, it was only one game, but Aldridge was terrible. Number one NBA draft pick? Only if you want the next Brad Sellers.
* Memphis is incredibly talented, but extremely young. Their youth showed itself in their game versus UCLA. Oh yeah, that and the fact that Rodney Carney sucked.
* Loved the moment when UCLA finally made a free-throw after missing about 147 straight. Aaron Afflalo got a standing ovation from the partisan Bruin crowd.
* LSU is a nice story with all five starters coming from hurricane-ravaged Louisiana (three of them from Baton Rouge). The Tigers have a lot of physical talent, but may have been absent the day that they handed out brains. Look guys, when you have Big Baby Davis and Tyrus Thomas in the post and you shoot .328% from the three-point stripe as a team, early-in-the-shotclock three pointers are about as intelligent as screaming "I love George W. Bush" in an Irani mosque.
* Aren't the supposed big-time players expected to rise to the occasion when the stakes are highest? Duke's J.J. Redick had a wonderful career and finished as the all-time leading scorer in the ACC, but went a combined 13-60 from the field in Duke's four tournament losses during his career. That, math majors, is a Rodney McCray-esque 21.6%.
* Boy, I criticized Coach K on Friday and J.J. on Monday. Expect Dick Vitale and half of ESPN's production crew to join the West Virginia mob.
* Happy to see that Cedric Diggory has not let his untimely death keep him from reading the Random Thoughts. Happier still to see him posting from the grave.
Finally, in case you did not know, it turns out that other sporting events do take place during the Madness. On Saturday, in a Cactus League game, four Cubs pitchers combined for 9 2/3 hitless innings against the A's. John Koronka then gave up a single to center on an 0-2 pitch. That is soooo Cubs.
On Sunday, the start of the Cubs' game was delayed due to uncontrollable swarms of bees on the field. Now that is soooo Cubs.
Hey, I cannot believe it either. George Mason is in the Final Four. In men's basketball. Wow. Putting their accomplishment into perspective is not an easy thing to do. This morning on Mike & Mike, they argued whether the Patriots' victory over UConn rates as one of the greatest upsets in sports history. To have such an argument, however, completely misses the point.
It's not so much that George Mason was able to beat UConn. Heck, the old cliche' that any given team can beat any other given team yada, yada, yada is true. What is amazing is the fact that Mason was able to beat Michigan State. And North Carolina. And Wichita State. And UConn. One has to look at the totality of their accomplishment to truly understand how amazing it is.
And it wasn't so much that UConn or Carolina or Michigan State played poorly. George Mason simply played better. They hit the big shots. They played defense when they had to. They didn't punch anyone in the nuts. They were outstanding and there is no reason to believe that their run has to end on Saturday versus Florida.
And to think that they pulled it off while essentially only playing six guys. In fact, during the UConn overtime game, coach Jim Larranaga made his final substitution with more than 10 minutes left in the second half. Kudos to Random Thoughts reader Bearister who noted that the four timeouts that were taken between 3:15 and 2:00 minutes to go in the second half helped a fatigued Mason squad tremendously. The Patriot players were clearly getting tired but were buoyed by the fact that the mandatory under-8:00 timeout did not occur until there was 3:15 to go in the half and that timeout was followed immediately by the mandatory under-4:00 time out. Further. each team called a timeout during the 1:15 stretch giving the Patriot players ample time to catch their breath and get a second wind (not sure how to explain this with any real level of clarity...)
Perhaps I ought to move Gunston up from his current spot at #54,811 on the IU coaching hierarchy list...
So is this USA beats Russia at Lake Placid? Uh, no. But it does have to rank right up there with NC State over Houston in the '83 championship, Villanova over Georgetown in the '85 championship and Danny O'Shea's Little Giants' defeat of big brother Kevin's Cowboys in the what-was-that-town-in-Ohio-called? championship. (By the way, wasn't that super-cool when John Madden, Bruce Smith and Emmitt Smith showed up in town?)
And one must now ask the question...how frickin' good is Hofstra? Let me remind you that the Pride defeated Gunston and his gang twice in the final ten days of the regular season. Somebody mentioned a great idea on Mike & Mike this morning (Seth Davis? Mike Golic? The idiot who schedules book signings during the first round games?). We already have a play-in game. Perhaps, this year, we should have a play-out game pitting Hofstra versus next Monday night's winner.
Other observations from this weekend...
* The best college basketball game of the weekend was not UConn-George Mason, or Texas-LSU. Heck, we could go all the way back to Thursday and Friday and the West Virginia-Texas and Gonezaga-UCLA classics, and still not find a better game than last night's UConn-Georgia regional semifinal in the women's tournament. I was fortunate that the Skin-a-max free weekend preview was last weekend, leaving my TV viewing options open. With nothing else of interest on, I left my TV tuned to ESPN2 while I did work in the basement. I was rewarded by being witness to a game that was spectacular. In the final 30 seconds, the teams made three three-pointers, including an improbable step back, off-balance game winner by UConn's center. The only thing that would have made the game better is if Georgia had made their three-quarter court heave at the buzzer. It hit the front of the rim and bounced harmlessly away. No kidding. As Jack Brickhouse used to say..."One more biscuit for breakfast..."
* Jim Calhoun is a great coach and he was classy following his loss to Mason. That said, there is something about the guy that I just don't like.
* I won't miss not seeing Calhoun in the Final Four. I will miss seeing the Husky cheerleaders (wait, that came out wrong...), I mean, the Connecticut cheerleaders and their little red bows.
* Oh well, I guess we will just have to make do with the Florida pom squad and the UCLA cheerleaders. Not to mention the Old Spice girl...
* Yes, I am trying to avoid talking about the fact that I have called UConn the 2006 NCAA Champions since mid-February, but now have to eat crow...
* Rumor has it that four people nailed the entire Final Four out of more than 3.5 million entrants in ESPN's Tournament Challenge. Two were probably named George Mason. One was GM coach Jim Larranaga and the other, or so he probably claims, was ESPN's insufferable college basketball commentator and know-it-all Doug Gottlieb.
* George Mason was originally a 300-1 shot to win the title at Wynn Las Vegas. According to the folks there, they are aware of only one person who bet the Patriots. The Sports Book also reported that they had a lot of action on Florida before the season started and should the Gators win the title, it will be bad news for the books. The unranked Gators began the season at 75-1.
* Villanova's Randy Foye is that good. I only wish he was about three inches taller.
* Texas' LaMarcus Aldridge is not that good. Hey, it was only one game, but Aldridge was terrible. Number one NBA draft pick? Only if you want the next Brad Sellers.
* Memphis is incredibly talented, but extremely young. Their youth showed itself in their game versus UCLA. Oh yeah, that and the fact that Rodney Carney sucked.
* Loved the moment when UCLA finally made a free-throw after missing about 147 straight. Aaron Afflalo got a standing ovation from the partisan Bruin crowd.
* LSU is a nice story with all five starters coming from hurricane-ravaged Louisiana (three of them from Baton Rouge). The Tigers have a lot of physical talent, but may have been absent the day that they handed out brains. Look guys, when you have Big Baby Davis and Tyrus Thomas in the post and you shoot .328% from the three-point stripe as a team, early-in-the-shotclock three pointers are about as intelligent as screaming "I love George W. Bush" in an Irani mosque.
* Aren't the supposed big-time players expected to rise to the occasion when the stakes are highest? Duke's J.J. Redick had a wonderful career and finished as the all-time leading scorer in the ACC, but went a combined 13-60 from the field in Duke's four tournament losses during his career. That, math majors, is a Rodney McCray-esque 21.6%.
* Boy, I criticized Coach K on Friday and J.J. on Monday. Expect Dick Vitale and half of ESPN's production crew to join the West Virginia mob.
* Happy to see that Cedric Diggory has not let his untimely death keep him from reading the Random Thoughts. Happier still to see him posting from the grave.
Finally, in case you did not know, it turns out that other sporting events do take place during the Madness. On Saturday, in a Cactus League game, four Cubs pitchers combined for 9 2/3 hitless innings against the A's. John Koronka then gave up a single to center on an 0-2 pitch. That is soooo Cubs.
On Sunday, the start of the Cubs' game was delayed due to uncontrollable swarms of bees on the field. Now that is soooo Cubs.
Friday, March 24, 2006
He Came. He Scored. He Lost. He Cried.
Gotta be quick today. I'm heading off to the long-time-coming press conference announcing the retirement of Curtis Enis and I hear that the security lines at correctional institutions can be quite long and difficult to get through...
Gonezaga-UCLA
Look, I just wanted Barty Crouch Jr. to turn him into a ferret. I never asked for Adam Morrison to turn into a blubbering mess at center court. Truth be told, watching Morrison after Gonezaga's heartbreaking loss to UCLA last night, I really did not know what to feel. Everyone knows that I am hardly a fan of Morrison's, but a small part of me really felt for him. After all, he does play the game with a tremendous passion and has an unquenchable desire to win. I respect that and hate to see anyone reduced to tears.
That said, it will suprise no-one that I am delighted that UCLA was able to pull off one of the greatest comebacks in NCAA tournament history. For those of you too busy trying to figure out who Madam Rosmerta, Minerva McGonagall and Stan Shunpike are to have caught the game, UCLA failed to connect on a field goal for the first 9 minutes of the game, fell behind by 17 points, and generally looked clueless. Offense, defense, during timeouts...it didn't matter. The UCLA players looked as if playing a Sweet 16 game was just about the last thing that they were interested in doing.
Perhaps their minds were preoccupied. Perhaps they had some hot-and-heavy plans after the game. After all, I hear that there is a smokin' hot UCLA coed named Victoria that fancies basketball players.
Anyway, the Bruins were able to score the final 11 points of the game, leaving Morrison sprawled at center court, his head in his hands, unable to face the reality that the Zags had just pissed away one of the biggest moments in the school's basketball history. And I felt bad. Okay, not so bad that I didn't allow myself at least one chucke at Morrison's expense, but bad nonetheless.
Wait a minute, I just had a thought. Is it possible that someone had waited until last in the second half of the game to inform Morrison that Jerry Azumah had retired and he was overcome with anguish? Is it possible that Gonezaga, and Morrison in particular, failed to score in the final 3:26 of the game because word had finally leaked out? Did UCLA point guard Jordan Farmar quietly walk over to Morrison after he sank two free throws with 3:26 remaining (to give Gonezaga a 9-point lead) to deliver the bad news?
Ahhh...an explanation for UCLA's horrid start, as well.
Duke-LSU
I suppose we have to consider that Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski was unable to keep the news of Azumah's retirement from J.J. Redick as well. What else could explain the normally reliable Redick's 3-18 performance from the floor?
Okay, I've officially beaten the Jerry Azumah retirement bit to its bitter death, left it in the middle of the road and run over it with a steamroller, parade of camels and the USC marching band.
Most troubling in Duke's loss to LSU was the Blue Devils overall lack of intensity and passion, especially in the last two minutes of the game (how in the world do you give up back-to-back offensive rebounds on missed free throws in the last minute?). To my eyes, freshmen Josh McRoberts and Greg Paulus were the only two Blue Devils who looked like they gave a damn (save for Sean Dockery's impressive header over the scorer's table). Senior Shelden Williams had a nice overall game statistically, but his demeanor on the court reminded me of the attitude of Fred McGriff in 2001 after he had been traded to the Cubs. Look, if you can't play with passion, don't bother showing up.
So, why did so many NCAA Pool bracket sheets spontaneously combust thanks to Duke's loss? Do we blame the defeat on Redick's imitation of Chris Dudley? Do we blame Williams and his lack of passion? Nope, I think fault lies in the hands of Coach K.
Now, hold on to your seats, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, I am going to attempt to be the first person in history to criticize the coaching of one Mike Krzyzewski. I am going to be the first to question whether he is the master that everyone perceives him to be. And I am not just doing this for shock value...
Let's start with a couple of truisms. Duke gets the top talent in the nation. Further, Duke has had immeasurable success and is the A-1 standard program in the NCAA today. I'm not here to argue that.
I'm also not here to argue that Coach K is a bad coach, or even a mediocre one. He is an outstanding coach, but the last couple of years have shown chinks in his armor.
Just as I am not going to argue that Coach K has had success beyond one's wildest dreams, I doubt as though you want to argue that LSU's John Brady coached circles around him last night. Where were the Blue Devil adjustments? When LSU's to big men, Big Baby Davis and Tyrus Thomas went out with three fouls, why didn't Duke continually force the ball into the post? Why weren't unique plays and sets run to get Redick open shots. Brady had devised an outstanding scheme and Coach K had absolutely no answers, other than to run the same stuff that clearly wasn't working.
But here is the bigger question...why is it that Duke has established an undeniable trend of losing in the first game of a tournament weekend? Let me explain. As all NCAA tournament fans know, a team can potentially play in two games during a weekend and, all other things being equal, the first game is generally the one that is more-often won by the better-coached team. After all, the coaches have plenty of time to prepare, study their opponent and develop a game-plan. Yet, in the past couple of years, Duke has always lost the first game of the weekend.
Look, pure talent will get you through a couple of rounds. I am as impressed with anyone over the nine straight Sweet 16s that Duke has made. But, the facts are the facts.
2006: Lost to LSU in Sweet Sixteen (first game of the weekend)
2005: Lost to Michigan State in Sweet Sixteen (first game of the weekend)
2004: Lost to UConn in Final Four (first game of the weekend)
2003: Lost to The Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in Sweet Sixteen (first game of the weekend)
2002: Lost to Indiana in Sweet 16 (first game of the weekend)
(Yes, the Blue Devils did win the title in 2001).
So, what's my point? That fearing the coaching acumen of Mike Krzyzewski is one activity that I cannot endorse. Oh yeah, that and Jessica Alba is hot. So even, if you think my first argument is ridiculous, at lease I've left you with something that we can all agree on.
West Virginia-Texas
Well, the Random Thoughts Curse has completed its work. The Mountaineers' Kevin Pittsnogle made a big shot but Texas' Kenton Paulino made an even bigger shot. I'm genuinely sorry to see West Virginia's season come to an end. And to think, they now have to go back and live in West Virginia.
I'm running out of steam here...
Memphis - Bradley
Memphis won.
Tonight's Games
The moment you have all been waiting for. You've suffered through "sympathy" for Adam Morrison, more Jerry Azumah references than you can handle, and a likely-nonsensical critical "analysis" of Coach K (there really was not much analyzing going on). Here is my look into my crystal ball to tell you what will happen tonight (last night, I missed on Duke, predicted a 72-70 Texas win -- the final was 74-71 -- , a 81-67 win for Memphis -- the final was 80-64--, and was a tad off on the UCLA-Gonezaga game, but got the result right).
(Oh, come on Professor Trelawny...this one is a layup)
George Mason - Wichita State
Florida State 72, Maryland 65.
Billy, I told you to get he hell away from my computer!
Oh, I don't know. Let's just hope that nobody gets Tony Skinned in the nuts, especially Gunston. I can guarantee you one thing, though, a mid-major team that Billy P-acc-ker hates is going to win. Wichita State 69, Gunston 65
Villanova-Boston College
This is going to be a great game. I'm not sure how 'Nova is going to contend with Craig Smith in the post, but Boston College does not have the guards to match up with the Wildcats. Overall, Villanova has more athletes and Doug Flutie does not have any more eligibility. Villanova 83, Boston College 80
UConn-Washington
I've been referring to UConn as the 2006 NCAA Champions for weeks. I'm not going to stop now. UConn 89, Washington 79
Florida-Georgetown
This should be a terrific game, as well. Two athletic teams, although Florida will look to run, while Georgetown will try and play a half-court game. Erin Andrews went to Florida. That's good enough for me. Florida 70, Georgetown 65
* Yes, I did misspell Gonezaga intentionally throughout this e-mail. In the words of Hawk Harrelson..."They Gone!"
Gonezaga-UCLA
Look, I just wanted Barty Crouch Jr. to turn him into a ferret. I never asked for Adam Morrison to turn into a blubbering mess at center court. Truth be told, watching Morrison after Gonezaga's heartbreaking loss to UCLA last night, I really did not know what to feel. Everyone knows that I am hardly a fan of Morrison's, but a small part of me really felt for him. After all, he does play the game with a tremendous passion and has an unquenchable desire to win. I respect that and hate to see anyone reduced to tears.
That said, it will suprise no-one that I am delighted that UCLA was able to pull off one of the greatest comebacks in NCAA tournament history. For those of you too busy trying to figure out who Madam Rosmerta, Minerva McGonagall and Stan Shunpike are to have caught the game, UCLA failed to connect on a field goal for the first 9 minutes of the game, fell behind by 17 points, and generally looked clueless. Offense, defense, during timeouts...it didn't matter. The UCLA players looked as if playing a Sweet 16 game was just about the last thing that they were interested in doing.
Perhaps their minds were preoccupied. Perhaps they had some hot-and-heavy plans after the game. After all, I hear that there is a smokin' hot UCLA coed named Victoria that fancies basketball players.
Anyway, the Bruins were able to score the final 11 points of the game, leaving Morrison sprawled at center court, his head in his hands, unable to face the reality that the Zags had just pissed away one of the biggest moments in the school's basketball history. And I felt bad. Okay, not so bad that I didn't allow myself at least one chucke at Morrison's expense, but bad nonetheless.
Wait a minute, I just had a thought. Is it possible that someone had waited until last in the second half of the game to inform Morrison that Jerry Azumah had retired and he was overcome with anguish? Is it possible that Gonezaga, and Morrison in particular, failed to score in the final 3:26 of the game because word had finally leaked out? Did UCLA point guard Jordan Farmar quietly walk over to Morrison after he sank two free throws with 3:26 remaining (to give Gonezaga a 9-point lead) to deliver the bad news?
Ahhh...an explanation for UCLA's horrid start, as well.
Duke-LSU
I suppose we have to consider that Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski was unable to keep the news of Azumah's retirement from J.J. Redick as well. What else could explain the normally reliable Redick's 3-18 performance from the floor?
Okay, I've officially beaten the Jerry Azumah retirement bit to its bitter death, left it in the middle of the road and run over it with a steamroller, parade of camels and the USC marching band.
Most troubling in Duke's loss to LSU was the Blue Devils overall lack of intensity and passion, especially in the last two minutes of the game (how in the world do you give up back-to-back offensive rebounds on missed free throws in the last minute?). To my eyes, freshmen Josh McRoberts and Greg Paulus were the only two Blue Devils who looked like they gave a damn (save for Sean Dockery's impressive header over the scorer's table). Senior Shelden Williams had a nice overall game statistically, but his demeanor on the court reminded me of the attitude of Fred McGriff in 2001 after he had been traded to the Cubs. Look, if you can't play with passion, don't bother showing up.
So, why did so many NCAA Pool bracket sheets spontaneously combust thanks to Duke's loss? Do we blame the defeat on Redick's imitation of Chris Dudley? Do we blame Williams and his lack of passion? Nope, I think fault lies in the hands of Coach K.
Now, hold on to your seats, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, I am going to attempt to be the first person in history to criticize the coaching of one Mike Krzyzewski. I am going to be the first to question whether he is the master that everyone perceives him to be. And I am not just doing this for shock value...
Let's start with a couple of truisms. Duke gets the top talent in the nation. Further, Duke has had immeasurable success and is the A-1 standard program in the NCAA today. I'm not here to argue that.
I'm also not here to argue that Coach K is a bad coach, or even a mediocre one. He is an outstanding coach, but the last couple of years have shown chinks in his armor.
Just as I am not going to argue that Coach K has had success beyond one's wildest dreams, I doubt as though you want to argue that LSU's John Brady coached circles around him last night. Where were the Blue Devil adjustments? When LSU's to big men, Big Baby Davis and Tyrus Thomas went out with three fouls, why didn't Duke continually force the ball into the post? Why weren't unique plays and sets run to get Redick open shots. Brady had devised an outstanding scheme and Coach K had absolutely no answers, other than to run the same stuff that clearly wasn't working.
But here is the bigger question...why is it that Duke has established an undeniable trend of losing in the first game of a tournament weekend? Let me explain. As all NCAA tournament fans know, a team can potentially play in two games during a weekend and, all other things being equal, the first game is generally the one that is more-often won by the better-coached team. After all, the coaches have plenty of time to prepare, study their opponent and develop a game-plan. Yet, in the past couple of years, Duke has always lost the first game of the weekend.
Look, pure talent will get you through a couple of rounds. I am as impressed with anyone over the nine straight Sweet 16s that Duke has made. But, the facts are the facts.
2006: Lost to LSU in Sweet Sixteen (first game of the weekend)
2005: Lost to Michigan State in Sweet Sixteen (first game of the weekend)
2004: Lost to UConn in Final Four (first game of the weekend)
2003: Lost to The Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in Sweet Sixteen (first game of the weekend)
2002: Lost to Indiana in Sweet 16 (first game of the weekend)
(Yes, the Blue Devils did win the title in 2001).
So, what's my point? That fearing the coaching acumen of Mike Krzyzewski is one activity that I cannot endorse. Oh yeah, that and Jessica Alba is hot. So even, if you think my first argument is ridiculous, at lease I've left you with something that we can all agree on.
West Virginia-Texas
Well, the Random Thoughts Curse has completed its work. The Mountaineers' Kevin Pittsnogle made a big shot but Texas' Kenton Paulino made an even bigger shot. I'm genuinely sorry to see West Virginia's season come to an end. And to think, they now have to go back and live in West Virginia.
I'm running out of steam here...
Memphis - Bradley
Memphis won.
Tonight's Games
The moment you have all been waiting for. You've suffered through "sympathy" for Adam Morrison, more Jerry Azumah references than you can handle, and a likely-nonsensical critical "analysis" of Coach K (there really was not much analyzing going on). Here is my look into my crystal ball to tell you what will happen tonight (last night, I missed on Duke, predicted a 72-70 Texas win -- the final was 74-71 -- , a 81-67 win for Memphis -- the final was 80-64--, and was a tad off on the UCLA-Gonezaga game, but got the result right).
(Oh, come on Professor Trelawny...this one is a layup)
George Mason - Wichita State
Florida State 72, Maryland 65.
Billy, I told you to get he hell away from my computer!
Oh, I don't know. Let's just hope that nobody gets Tony Skinned in the nuts, especially Gunston. I can guarantee you one thing, though, a mid-major team that Billy P-acc-ker hates is going to win. Wichita State 69, Gunston 65
Villanova-Boston College
This is going to be a great game. I'm not sure how 'Nova is going to contend with Craig Smith in the post, but Boston College does not have the guards to match up with the Wildcats. Overall, Villanova has more athletes and Doug Flutie does not have any more eligibility. Villanova 83, Boston College 80
UConn-Washington
I've been referring to UConn as the 2006 NCAA Champions for weeks. I'm not going to stop now. UConn 89, Washington 79
Florida-Georgetown
This should be a terrific game, as well. Two athletic teams, although Florida will look to run, while Georgetown will try and play a half-court game. Erin Andrews went to Florida. That's good enough for me. Florida 70, Georgetown 65
* Yes, I did misspell Gonezaga intentionally throughout this e-mail. In the words of Hawk Harrelson..."They Gone!"
Thursday, March 23, 2006
A Flood of Blue and Orange (sniff) Tears
Yesterday, Halas Hall brimmed with excitement and joy. Brian Griese had signed on as the newest member of the Chicago Bears. Reports that Rex the Wonder Dog had broken his pelvis in a mean game of Battleship turned out to be untrue. The possibility that Kyle the Bearded Wonder would be asked to win games had become more remote. Life was good.
And then the calendar turned to Thursday, March 23, 2006.
A press conference was called. Reporters from around the globe gathered. Kids skipped school to listen. Jeff Joniak's cell phone wouldn't stop ringing. Talk of cancelling tonight's NCAA tournament games intensified. The Bulls' playoff run failures didn't seem to matter much anymore...
Thursday, March 23, 2006. A day that now shall forever be known as "Jerry Azumah Day."
Sarcasm is so frickin' hard to write...
What the heck is going on here?!? Did the Chicago Bears really call a press conference to announce the retirement of Jerry Azumah? Excuse me, Jerry Azumah? What's next, a halftime ceremony honoring the legacy of Cap Boso? A jersey retirement for Jim Morrissey? Replica Roland Harper mini-helmets to the first 15,000 through the turnstiles?
Most importantly, does Brian Griese now realize that he does not get to share the same lockeroom with Azumah? Man, talk about a kick in the gut. Let's hope he doesn't suddenly come down with a mysterious injury that gets him out of his contract. As far as Bears' management is concerned, at least he has already fulfilled his quota on the "I tripped over my dog on the way down the stairs" excuse. Maybe he can argue that he tripped on Thomas Jones' driveway. Whoops! I guess that one is out too.
Assuming that Griese still plans on donning the blue and orange, do you realize that his career numbers would make him statistically the most accomplished Chicago Bear quarterback in history? Look, let's be completely honest here. Griese is no Montana, Elway or Manning. Heck, he's been nothing more than mediocre-to good during his eight-year career. Yet, he would be the most accomplished QB in Bears' history. Is that akin to saying that he is the best juggler in a room of one-armed clowns?
Worthless Fact of the Day: Former Patriots' kicker and new Colt Adam Vinatieri is a cousin of Evel Knievel. Did anyone else have that sweet wind up Evel Knievel toy as a kid? Man, that thing was sweet. Super sweet!
Worthless Fact of the Day Part Deux: His great, great grandfather was the chief musician for General George Custer's 7th Caverly Regimental Band. Announcing your arrival by beating drums and playing the trumpet. Now that's good military strategy! Perhaps Griese ought to scream out "I'm throwing to Mee-Sin Me-hammed on this play," while under center. See if it works.
So, Kansas State took the plunge and hired former Jailbird University head coach and drunk driver Bob Huggins. Let's see. Huggins is now in the Big 12 with sauce-king Eddie Sutton. Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Head Coach Bill Self better plan on getting to next year's Big 12 conference luncheon a few hours early if he plans on having anything stronger than a Capri Sun.
Of course, Huggy-Bear also joins Bob Knight in the Big 12. Anyone else want to see the conference do away with basketball and just have their head coaches engage in a series of death matches?
Huggy-Bear's hiring may also have a major effect on recruiting and may potentially shift the balance of power toward the fields of Kansas. Let's be honest though. Super-recruits O.J. Mayo (#1), Bill Walker (#3) and Keenan Ellis (#15) cannot be happy about this news. Long expected to commit to whatever school Huggins winds up at, the three superstars have got to be reassessing their options. Oh sure, they would have loved to play in Manhattan, but I doubt they meant Manhattan, Kansas.
Checking through today's TV listings, I see that Huggins' former employer, the University of Cincinnati is scheduled to play tonight on ESPNU. Hey, I thought that CBS had the exclusive rights to broadcast NCAA tournament games. Oh yeah, I forgot about that Committee thing.
Mascot Update: Sheesh, the Stanford Tree just can't stay out of trouble. In the winter, the student who dressed as the tree was relieved of her duties after registering a 0.157 blood alcohol level during a game. Now comes word that the Tree has been suspended for the remainder of the postseason (the lady Cardinal are in the Sweet 16 of the women's tournament) for violating the NCAA's Footloose Law. Turns out the Tree danced in a prohibited area and John Lithgow had a hissy.
IU Coaching Update: Steve Alford is trying to make it seem as though he is rejecting Iniana, rather than the other (humilating) way around. Just when I was getting excited about Billy Gillispie, word is that he is expected to announce his intention to stay at Texas A (screw the ampersand) M. The buzz is that Gonzaga's Mark Few and Randy Whitman are the two frontrunners. Yuck and bigger yuck. The World's Largest Drum announced that its significant other, a baritone sax, loves West Lafayette and is unwilling to uproot the family and move south to Bloomington.
Tonight's Sweet 16 Matchups:
Duke-LSU
- Big Baby Davis is a load inside, but Coach K and Shelden Williams will find a way to neutralize him and make the other LSU players beat the Blue Devils. They won't. Duke 76, LSU 68
West Virginia-Texas
- I really want West Virginia to win, but fear that the scars of the Random Thoughts Curse run too deep. Texas has more athletes. West Virginia has more tattoos. It's generally better to have the former. Texas 72, West Virginia 70
Memphis-Bradley
Bradley is a nice story but Memphis is a better all-around team. Memphis has the big bodies to contend with Braves' big man Patrick O'Bryant. St. Patrick's Day was last week. Now it's Jerry Azumah Day. Memphis has a guy on their team named Jared who averages 0.5 points per game. In other words, he contributes about as much as Azumah did and, get this, their birthdays are only three days apart (not by year!!!). Memphis 81, Bradley 67
UCLA-Gonzaga
I hate Adam Morrison. UCLA 1,652, Gonzaga 4
And then the calendar turned to Thursday, March 23, 2006.
A press conference was called. Reporters from around the globe gathered. Kids skipped school to listen. Jeff Joniak's cell phone wouldn't stop ringing. Talk of cancelling tonight's NCAA tournament games intensified. The Bulls' playoff run failures didn't seem to matter much anymore...
Thursday, March 23, 2006. A day that now shall forever be known as "Jerry Azumah Day."
Sarcasm is so frickin' hard to write...
What the heck is going on here?!? Did the Chicago Bears really call a press conference to announce the retirement of Jerry Azumah? Excuse me, Jerry Azumah? What's next, a halftime ceremony honoring the legacy of Cap Boso? A jersey retirement for Jim Morrissey? Replica Roland Harper mini-helmets to the first 15,000 through the turnstiles?
Most importantly, does Brian Griese now realize that he does not get to share the same lockeroom with Azumah? Man, talk about a kick in the gut. Let's hope he doesn't suddenly come down with a mysterious injury that gets him out of his contract. As far as Bears' management is concerned, at least he has already fulfilled his quota on the "I tripped over my dog on the way down the stairs" excuse. Maybe he can argue that he tripped on Thomas Jones' driveway. Whoops! I guess that one is out too.
Assuming that Griese still plans on donning the blue and orange, do you realize that his career numbers would make him statistically the most accomplished Chicago Bear quarterback in history? Look, let's be completely honest here. Griese is no Montana, Elway or Manning. Heck, he's been nothing more than mediocre-to good during his eight-year career. Yet, he would be the most accomplished QB in Bears' history. Is that akin to saying that he is the best juggler in a room of one-armed clowns?
Worthless Fact of the Day: Former Patriots' kicker and new Colt Adam Vinatieri is a cousin of Evel Knievel. Did anyone else have that sweet wind up Evel Knievel toy as a kid? Man, that thing was sweet. Super sweet!
Worthless Fact of the Day Part Deux: His great, great grandfather was the chief musician for General George Custer's 7th Caverly Regimental Band. Announcing your arrival by beating drums and playing the trumpet. Now that's good military strategy! Perhaps Griese ought to scream out "I'm throwing to Mee-Sin Me-hammed on this play," while under center. See if it works.
So, Kansas State took the plunge and hired former Jailbird University head coach and drunk driver Bob Huggins. Let's see. Huggins is now in the Big 12 with sauce-king Eddie Sutton. Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named Head Coach Bill Self better plan on getting to next year's Big 12 conference luncheon a few hours early if he plans on having anything stronger than a Capri Sun.
Of course, Huggy-Bear also joins Bob Knight in the Big 12. Anyone else want to see the conference do away with basketball and just have their head coaches engage in a series of death matches?
Huggy-Bear's hiring may also have a major effect on recruiting and may potentially shift the balance of power toward the fields of Kansas. Let's be honest though. Super-recruits O.J. Mayo (#1), Bill Walker (#3) and Keenan Ellis (#15) cannot be happy about this news. Long expected to commit to whatever school Huggins winds up at, the three superstars have got to be reassessing their options. Oh sure, they would have loved to play in Manhattan, but I doubt they meant Manhattan, Kansas.
Checking through today's TV listings, I see that Huggins' former employer, the University of Cincinnati is scheduled to play tonight on ESPNU. Hey, I thought that CBS had the exclusive rights to broadcast NCAA tournament games. Oh yeah, I forgot about that Committee thing.
Mascot Update: Sheesh, the Stanford Tree just can't stay out of trouble. In the winter, the student who dressed as the tree was relieved of her duties after registering a 0.157 blood alcohol level during a game. Now comes word that the Tree has been suspended for the remainder of the postseason (the lady Cardinal are in the Sweet 16 of the women's tournament) for violating the NCAA's Footloose Law. Turns out the Tree danced in a prohibited area and John Lithgow had a hissy.
IU Coaching Update: Steve Alford is trying to make it seem as though he is rejecting Iniana, rather than the other (humilating) way around. Just when I was getting excited about Billy Gillispie, word is that he is expected to announce his intention to stay at Texas A (screw the ampersand) M. The buzz is that Gonzaga's Mark Few and Randy Whitman are the two frontrunners. Yuck and bigger yuck. The World's Largest Drum announced that its significant other, a baritone sax, loves West Lafayette and is unwilling to uproot the family and move south to Bloomington.
Tonight's Sweet 16 Matchups:
Duke-LSU
- Big Baby Davis is a load inside, but Coach K and Shelden Williams will find a way to neutralize him and make the other LSU players beat the Blue Devils. They won't. Duke 76, LSU 68
West Virginia-Texas
- I really want West Virginia to win, but fear that the scars of the Random Thoughts Curse run too deep. Texas has more athletes. West Virginia has more tattoos. It's generally better to have the former. Texas 72, West Virginia 70
Memphis-Bradley
Bradley is a nice story but Memphis is a better all-around team. Memphis has the big bodies to contend with Braves' big man Patrick O'Bryant. St. Patrick's Day was last week. Now it's Jerry Azumah Day. Memphis has a guy on their team named Jared who averages 0.5 points per game. In other words, he contributes about as much as Azumah did and, get this, their birthdays are only three days apart (not by year!!!). Memphis 81, Bradley 67
UCLA-Gonzaga
I hate Adam Morrison. UCLA 1,652, Gonzaga 4
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Yeah, But Does Gunston Coach Defense?
Big Red the infamous grimace-like creature who roams the sidelines and roots on the Western Kentucky Hilltoppers wasn't even invited. The Blue Blob made an unceremonious early exit from the Dance after Xavier was a first-round victim of the soon-to-be ferret and his Gonzaga teammates. Gunston, on the other hand, lives on!
Yes, I have discovered yet another lovable mascot sure to capture the heart of every four-year old in town. Ladies and gentlemen...boys and girls, let me introduce you to Gunston, the official mascot of the George Mason Patriots.
A guy dressed in traditional colonial garb? Oh no. A woman donning a Tom Brady mask? Uh uh. A student expounding the virtues of a mid 90's Mel Gibson movie. Not a chance.
Gunston is some kind of green creature in the mold of Big Red and the Blue Blob (yes, that is his real name). George Mason's official explanation is that Gunston was likely hatched from an egg found by the GMU Sociology and Anthropology Department during an excavation of Gunston Hall on the university's campus (look it up). He may be a cousin of Elmo. He may not. I don't really care, but I would like to welcome Gunston as the third official member of the Random Thoughts Mascot Hall of Fame. Congratulations Gunston!
Hey, what can I say? It's Wednesday. There isn't much going on. The Cubs and Sox are playing meaningless games. So are the Bulls and Blackhawks. There is still more than 24 hours before the madness resumes. What did you expect? An in-depth look at the backcourt matchup in the Florida versus Georgetown game? An intense breakdown of what Matt Thornton brings to the Sox' bullpen? A discussion of the future prospects of Dmitri Isuckathockeyov or Vladimir Icantskateov or whoever the heck is on the current Blackhawks roster?
I was delighted to see that Jerry Angelo was not too depressed over Antwaan Randle El's signing with the Washington Redskins to let the entire free-agency period go by without filling any of the Bears' needs. Signing Brian Griese to be the backup quarterback is a good move. If given the chance to start-- and I suspect he will (Rex the Wonder Dog will probably break his ankle or get a case of the German measles or something) -- I imagine that Griese will do a decent-enough job. Sure, he won't make anyone forget about the stellar play of all the all-time quarterback greats who have stood under center for the Monsters of the Midway...you know, guys like...er...uh...hmm...
Never mind.
Wait a second, does this mean the Jeff Blake era is over? Say it ain't so...
Ultimately, I applaud the Bears for this move. Getting a semi-proven veteran into the fold is never a bad thing. That said, I sure hope that there are more Bears' moves coming. To quote Teddy K.G.B. "I feel so unsatisfied." (Just wondering...was Teddy supposed to be gay?).
Now, as dedicated readers of the Random Thoughts know, I get a kick out of referring to college and professional teams by clever little names. That said, I would like to thank commenter "drio" for coming up with a creative new moniker for the Big Ten school located in Bloomington, Indiana. From now on, they shall be known as "Iniana" because they currently have no "D."
Hopefully the next coach of the Hoosiers will restore the "D" to its proper place, and, now that the Mike Davis era has officially come to a close, IU coaching talk is getting hotter and hotter. The most recent news is that Iniana AD Rick Greenspan has a list of two candidates who will be invited to come in for interviews. The good news? Steve Alford is not among the two.
Now, please keep in mind that only Greenspan truly knows who is on the list, but most seem to feel that it includes Texas A (screw the ampersand) M coach Billy Gillispie and former Hoosier player and current Orlando Magic assistant coach Randy Wittman. Wittman...blech. Gillispie, on the other hand, looks better and better the more I look at his resume.
So who does this rabid IU fan want to see as the next IU coach? Well, I won't bore you with the whole list, but here's a little taste of my thoughts...
1. Thad Matta: Ohio State (not likely that he will leave Columbus, though)
2. John Calipari: Memphis
3. Billy Gillispie: Texas A (screw the ampersand) M (I'm telling ya...look at his resume!)
4. Tom Crean: Marquette
5. Ditka
No Steve Alford? Let's look a little further down the list...
1,854. Matt Painter
1,855. Gene Keady
1,856. Glenn Robinson
1,857. The World's Biggest Drum
Okay, you're joking right? Where is the Hoosier god?
54,811. Gunston
54,812. Mike Davis (the former LA Dodger who was on base when Kirk Gibson hit his famous home run in the 1988 World Series)
54,813. Mike Davis (I'm not even going to touch this one. Hey, at least DJ White and Robert Vaden would stick around)
54,814. Randy Wittman (Looks like I prefer Gillispie, huh?)
Still no Mr. Overrated...
185,674. Ted Knight (yes, that Ted Knight)
185,675. Pat Knight
185,676. Bobby Knight
185,677. Gladys Knight
185,678. The Pips
185,679. Adolf Hitler's brain in a jar
185,680. Steve Alford.
Great, now the city of New Castle, Iniana hates me too...
Yes, I have discovered yet another lovable mascot sure to capture the heart of every four-year old in town. Ladies and gentlemen...boys and girls, let me introduce you to Gunston, the official mascot of the George Mason Patriots.
A guy dressed in traditional colonial garb? Oh no. A woman donning a Tom Brady mask? Uh uh. A student expounding the virtues of a mid 90's Mel Gibson movie. Not a chance.
Gunston is some kind of green creature in the mold of Big Red and the Blue Blob (yes, that is his real name). George Mason's official explanation is that Gunston was likely hatched from an egg found by the GMU Sociology and Anthropology Department during an excavation of Gunston Hall on the university's campus (look it up). He may be a cousin of Elmo. He may not. I don't really care, but I would like to welcome Gunston as the third official member of the Random Thoughts Mascot Hall of Fame. Congratulations Gunston!
Hey, what can I say? It's Wednesday. There isn't much going on. The Cubs and Sox are playing meaningless games. So are the Bulls and Blackhawks. There is still more than 24 hours before the madness resumes. What did you expect? An in-depth look at the backcourt matchup in the Florida versus Georgetown game? An intense breakdown of what Matt Thornton brings to the Sox' bullpen? A discussion of the future prospects of Dmitri Isuckathockeyov or Vladimir Icantskateov or whoever the heck is on the current Blackhawks roster?
I was delighted to see that Jerry Angelo was not too depressed over Antwaan Randle El's signing with the Washington Redskins to let the entire free-agency period go by without filling any of the Bears' needs. Signing Brian Griese to be the backup quarterback is a good move. If given the chance to start-- and I suspect he will (Rex the Wonder Dog will probably break his ankle or get a case of the German measles or something) -- I imagine that Griese will do a decent-enough job. Sure, he won't make anyone forget about the stellar play of all the all-time quarterback greats who have stood under center for the Monsters of the Midway...you know, guys like...er...uh...hmm...
Never mind.
Wait a second, does this mean the Jeff Blake era is over? Say it ain't so...
Ultimately, I applaud the Bears for this move. Getting a semi-proven veteran into the fold is never a bad thing. That said, I sure hope that there are more Bears' moves coming. To quote Teddy K.G.B. "I feel so unsatisfied." (Just wondering...was Teddy supposed to be gay?).
Now, as dedicated readers of the Random Thoughts know, I get a kick out of referring to college and professional teams by clever little names. That said, I would like to thank commenter "drio" for coming up with a creative new moniker for the Big Ten school located in Bloomington, Indiana. From now on, they shall be known as "Iniana" because they currently have no "D."
Hopefully the next coach of the Hoosiers will restore the "D" to its proper place, and, now that the Mike Davis era has officially come to a close, IU coaching talk is getting hotter and hotter. The most recent news is that Iniana AD Rick Greenspan has a list of two candidates who will be invited to come in for interviews. The good news? Steve Alford is not among the two.
Now, please keep in mind that only Greenspan truly knows who is on the list, but most seem to feel that it includes Texas A (screw the ampersand) M coach Billy Gillispie and former Hoosier player and current Orlando Magic assistant coach Randy Wittman. Wittman...blech. Gillispie, on the other hand, looks better and better the more I look at his resume.
So who does this rabid IU fan want to see as the next IU coach? Well, I won't bore you with the whole list, but here's a little taste of my thoughts...
1. Thad Matta: Ohio State (not likely that he will leave Columbus, though)
2. John Calipari: Memphis
3. Billy Gillispie: Texas A (screw the ampersand) M (I'm telling ya...look at his resume!)
4. Tom Crean: Marquette
5. Ditka
No Steve Alford? Let's look a little further down the list...
1,854. Matt Painter
1,855. Gene Keady
1,856. Glenn Robinson
1,857. The World's Biggest Drum
Okay, you're joking right? Where is the Hoosier god?
54,811. Gunston
54,812. Mike Davis (the former LA Dodger who was on base when Kirk Gibson hit his famous home run in the 1988 World Series)
54,813. Mike Davis (I'm not even going to touch this one. Hey, at least DJ White and Robert Vaden would stick around)
54,814. Randy Wittman (Looks like I prefer Gillispie, huh?)
Still no Mr. Overrated...
185,674. Ted Knight (yes, that Ted Knight)
185,675. Pat Knight
185,676. Bobby Knight
185,677. Gladys Knight
185,678. The Pips
185,679. Adolf Hitler's brain in a jar
185,680. Steve Alford.
Great, now the city of New Castle, Iniana hates me too...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Thanks Billy!
We are now nine days removed from the announcement of the 2006 NCAA Tournament field and I am sure that Selection Committee Chairman Craig Littlepage wants more than anything to be outwardly smug. He's probably sitting back and smiling when he thinks about the work that his nine charges performed. He probably wants to take all of the criticism and shove it right up CBS's ass. He feels vindicated. He feels justifed.
Thanks Billy P-acc-ker. Thanks a lot.
Why thank Billy P-acc-ker, you ask? Because it is his stupidity (with an assist from Jim Nantz) that allows Littlepage to incorrectly feel this way. Because it is his on-air rant about major-conference teams and whether they deserved to be in the field of 65 that has gotten everyone's attention and therefore masks the real issues with the selection process.
Look, the committee got it wrong and very little, if anything, has happened during the tournament to change my mind.
For those of you too mesmerized by those stupid "Vendetta" commercials to pay attention (what is that movie about?), P-acc-ker and Nantz took Littlepage to task for the inclusion of mid-major schools at the expense of teams like Florida State, Maryland and Michigan (read: schools from the power conferences). P-acc-ker and Nantz made a series of non-sensical statistic arguments about how the power conferences haveall the success in the Tournament, while the little schools generally fail to accomplish much of anything. P-acc-ker's argument in a nutshell? That George Mason, Bradley, and Northern Iowa have no business in the tournament, while the exclusion of the power-conference schools referenced above represents the biggest travesty since Donna was not allowed to graduate with the senior class because she got drunk at the prom.
So now Littlepage gets to sit back and gloat. George Mason is in the Sweet 16. Bradley knocked off a couple of big-time schools in Kansas and Pittsburgh and will still be playing this coming weekend. Missouri Valley regular season champion Wichita State will get their moment in the sun (and their tuba player's mother will probably get air time on CBS). Now it seems as though I need a calculator to count the number of times I have heard in the national media that the Committee has been vindicated and proven "right."
Like I said. Thanks Billy P-acc-ker. Thanks a lot.
You see, the Committee did fail and, in general, the results of the tournament have proven how nutso the selections were. The Missouri Valley should have gotten only four teams in? That's ludicrous. I may not be much of a Valley fan (as faitful readers know), but go back and scroll through my posts. I thought that the Valley actually got screwed. Tom and I agreed that both Missouri State and Creighton should have joined their Valley bretheren in the Dance. I'd argue that the success of Bradley and Wichita State has proven that the Valley deserved even more credit...and more teams.
Perhaps the biggest schmoke is Valley commissioner Doug Elgin. Elgin has been so clouded by P-acc-ker's rambling that he has now seemingly forgotten that it is his conference that got jobbed. Before the selections, Elgin was openly campaigning for five Valley teams (with a secret hope that six would get in). Now, he should be screaming to the masses..."See, I told you! We have proved it on the court and deserved more respect!!!!" Instead, I hear him on national radio talking about how the Committee's decisions have been proven right on the mark. How do you think the omitted teams mentioned above feel? I'm not sure I would expect a Holiday card from either Omaha, Nebraska or Springfield, Missouri his year, Doug.
So who should have been left home? After the selections were announced, I immediately recoiled at the thought of Air Force and Utah State in the tournament. They didn't belong then and they don't belong now. What? The Falcons stayed relatively close to Illinois? Maybe, but did you actually ever think that they had a chance to win the game? Illinois did not play particularily well last Thursday evening, yet still won fairly easily. In the other game, Washington pretty much toyed with Utah State before putting them out of their misery.
Let's look at the seeds. Tennessee a number two? I didn't think that they deserved such a high seed then and I certainly don't think so now. Nevada a number five? Uh, no. And then there is Syracuse who suddenly remembered that they were a mediocre team at best for the first three months of the season and reverted back to pre-Big East Tournament form. For those of you too upset over the lack of "Spring Break Shark Attack" commercials to watch the tournament, the OrangeMEN got bounced before Derrick Coleman could find time to roll himself away from the buffet table and congratulate the overrated Gerry McNamara on his 0-6 from the field, two-point performance.
You missed the point, Billy P-acc-ker and, as result, the Committee gets to go on believing that they did their job.
Thanks.
* The timing of this post and my heartfelt thank-you to Billy P-acc-ker is especially relevant given the untimely death of Ray Meyer. I must admit that my spelling of Billy's last name is not my own creative work, but rather was originally shared with me in the mid-80's by Coach Ray. Coach Ray always had a thing for calling people by nicknames (I was "hat" for a number of years for a reason that many of you can easily imagine). He was a wonderful man with a big heart and I will always remember him and his kindness (not to mention the cookies that his late-wife Marge made at the lake home in Three Lakes, Wisconsin). Good Bye Coach...
Thanks Billy P-acc-ker. Thanks a lot.
Why thank Billy P-acc-ker, you ask? Because it is his stupidity (with an assist from Jim Nantz) that allows Littlepage to incorrectly feel this way. Because it is his on-air rant about major-conference teams and whether they deserved to be in the field of 65 that has gotten everyone's attention and therefore masks the real issues with the selection process.
Look, the committee got it wrong and very little, if anything, has happened during the tournament to change my mind.
For those of you too mesmerized by those stupid "Vendetta" commercials to pay attention (what is that movie about?), P-acc-ker and Nantz took Littlepage to task for the inclusion of mid-major schools at the expense of teams like Florida State, Maryland and Michigan (read: schools from the power conferences). P-acc-ker and Nantz made a series of non-sensical statistic arguments about how the power conferences haveall the success in the Tournament, while the little schools generally fail to accomplish much of anything. P-acc-ker's argument in a nutshell? That George Mason, Bradley, and Northern Iowa have no business in the tournament, while the exclusion of the power-conference schools referenced above represents the biggest travesty since Donna was not allowed to graduate with the senior class because she got drunk at the prom.
So now Littlepage gets to sit back and gloat. George Mason is in the Sweet 16. Bradley knocked off a couple of big-time schools in Kansas and Pittsburgh and will still be playing this coming weekend. Missouri Valley regular season champion Wichita State will get their moment in the sun (and their tuba player's mother will probably get air time on CBS). Now it seems as though I need a calculator to count the number of times I have heard in the national media that the Committee has been vindicated and proven "right."
Like I said. Thanks Billy P-acc-ker. Thanks a lot.
You see, the Committee did fail and, in general, the results of the tournament have proven how nutso the selections were. The Missouri Valley should have gotten only four teams in? That's ludicrous. I may not be much of a Valley fan (as faitful readers know), but go back and scroll through my posts. I thought that the Valley actually got screwed. Tom and I agreed that both Missouri State and Creighton should have joined their Valley bretheren in the Dance. I'd argue that the success of Bradley and Wichita State has proven that the Valley deserved even more credit...and more teams.
Perhaps the biggest schmoke is Valley commissioner Doug Elgin. Elgin has been so clouded by P-acc-ker's rambling that he has now seemingly forgotten that it is his conference that got jobbed. Before the selections, Elgin was openly campaigning for five Valley teams (with a secret hope that six would get in). Now, he should be screaming to the masses..."See, I told you! We have proved it on the court and deserved more respect!!!!" Instead, I hear him on national radio talking about how the Committee's decisions have been proven right on the mark. How do you think the omitted teams mentioned above feel? I'm not sure I would expect a Holiday card from either Omaha, Nebraska or Springfield, Missouri his year, Doug.
So who should have been left home? After the selections were announced, I immediately recoiled at the thought of Air Force and Utah State in the tournament. They didn't belong then and they don't belong now. What? The Falcons stayed relatively close to Illinois? Maybe, but did you actually ever think that they had a chance to win the game? Illinois did not play particularily well last Thursday evening, yet still won fairly easily. In the other game, Washington pretty much toyed with Utah State before putting them out of their misery.
Let's look at the seeds. Tennessee a number two? I didn't think that they deserved such a high seed then and I certainly don't think so now. Nevada a number five? Uh, no. And then there is Syracuse who suddenly remembered that they were a mediocre team at best for the first three months of the season and reverted back to pre-Big East Tournament form. For those of you too upset over the lack of "Spring Break Shark Attack" commercials to watch the tournament, the OrangeMEN got bounced before Derrick Coleman could find time to roll himself away from the buffet table and congratulate the overrated Gerry McNamara on his 0-6 from the field, two-point performance.
You missed the point, Billy P-acc-ker and, as result, the Committee gets to go on believing that they did their job.
Thanks.
* The timing of this post and my heartfelt thank-you to Billy P-acc-ker is especially relevant given the untimely death of Ray Meyer. I must admit that my spelling of Billy's last name is not my own creative work, but rather was originally shared with me in the mid-80's by Coach Ray. Coach Ray always had a thing for calling people by nicknames (I was "hat" for a number of years for a reason that many of you can easily imagine). He was a wonderful man with a big heart and I will always remember him and his kindness (not to mention the cookies that his late-wife Marge made at the lake home in Three Lakes, Wisconsin). Good Bye Coach...
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