Ever Heard of Rick Ankiel or Bob Hamelin?

In 1980, "Super" Joe Charboneau won the American League Rookie of the Year after hitting .289 with 23 home runs and 87 RBI for the Cleveland Indians. During that magical summer of 1980, fans in Cleveland were mesmerized by the considerable exploits of Super Joe both on and off the field. A well-known eccentric, Charboneau was known to open beer bottles with his eye sockets, allegedly performed his own dental work and once fixed a broken nose with a pair of pliers and a fifth of Jack Daniels. Alas, by the end of 1982, Joe was out of the major leagues, presumably sitting on a ratty couch somewhere trying to solve a Rubik's Cube while listening to Dexy's Midnight Runners.

Seven years later, Wrigley Field was buzzing. Ryne Sandberg was launching balls onto Waveland, a young Greg Maddux was just beginning to show the dominance that Skip Caray, Ted Turner and the other 18 Atlanta Braves fans would grow quite accustomed to in the 1990's, and Mitch Williams was keeping us all on the edge of our seats with his exhilarating ninth inning high-wire acts. You could still get a beer for under $8 and the ballpark had yet to become the North side's most popular beer garden.

And setting the table was rookie Jerome Walton. Walton raced his way to the Rookie of the Year with a .293 average and 24 stolen bases. Two years later, he was released by the Cubs and, although he spent some time with the Angels, Reds, Braves, Orioles, and possibly even the Burlington Drifters, Springfield Isotopes and Shelbyville Shelbyvillians, was likely asking whether you want fries with that by Y2K.

In 2003, Wrigley Field had transformed into the North side's best pick-up joint. Looking around the stands, you were more likely to see an Abercrombie & Fitch knit crew than an actual Cubs jersey. Concrete was falling, fans were refusing to interfere with Cubs outfielders whenever they ventured close to the stands to catch a foul fly-ball, and Glendon Rusch and Les Waldrond were still just a bad dream. And the Chicago Cubs were in the playoffs.

Key to the Cubs' success was a young man who was just a year removed from USC. Mark Prior. The next big thing. Chicago's answer to Nolan Ryan, Sandy Koufax and Sidd Finch. Sporting calves the size of doric columns and an unflappable demeanor, Prior was the unstoppable machine. He finished the season with an 18-6 record, a 2.43 ERA, 245 strikeouts, and nary a hang nail.

It's now 2006 and you are still more likely to see a halter top and short denim skirt than a jersey. And, the good news is hat Mark Prior is still finishing seasons with only six losses. Too bad, he can only manage to collect a single win to go along with a laundry list of injuries that includes a sore elbow, shoulder, knee, ankle, pancreas, tonsilitis, achy-breaky pelvis, conjoined twin myslexia and a burn on the roof of his mouth from his overzealousness when Walton delivered his late-night pizza.

And, you know what, Super Joe Charboneau was not the only one listening to Dexys Midnight Runners in 1982. Step aside Olivia Newton John, Joan Jett and the J Geils Band, Dexy's here and he's encouraging Eileen to come along for the ride! Hitting #1 in both the U.S. and the U.K., Come on Eileen was the single that was sure to launch Dexy to superstardom. Alas, they could never quite recapture the magic of "toora loora toora loo rye aye."

So, what is the lesson to learn here?

Devin Hester is sensational and the praise that he is currently receiving is well-deserved. But, let's take a step back and wait just a few more games before we call Bob Vila and Al Borland and start construction on the Hester wing at the Pro Football Hall-of-Fame (after all, we have had to scrap those plans for the Grossman wing, eh?). Hester has undeniably sensational skill and ability, but it is the Bears' return unit, as a whole, that deserves a little more credit than they are currently getting.

That said, I do not deny that Hester's penchance for returning kicks is absolutely mind-boggling. Some of the stats that I have recently seen are very hard to believe, including the fact that he leads the Bears in TDs this season. But, can he sustain his success, is the key question that remains unanswered.

History tells us that he likely cannot. After all, the career record for kick/ punt returns for TDs is only 13*. And, I seem to recall a certain kick/ punt returner with the same initials as Hester who set the world afire in 2003 when he scored in four consecutive games. Of course, in the three seasons since his outburst, Dante Hall has scored exactly four additonal touchdowns. Not bad for a kick returner, but to "expect" much more than that from Hester is foolish and I fear that a lot of Bears fans are beginning to do just that.

Where Hester can really make a long-term impact is on offense and I believe that Lovie and Ron Turner need to go into next season with a binder of plays designed to get him the ball (it, unfortunately, is too late to add him to the offensive mix this year -- let's be honest, Devin strikes me as the likely newest member of the Stephen Hawking Hairston- Einstein Jones Club). Yes, I know that Hester fancies himself a defensive back, but eventually you have to do what is best for the team. After all, Pam Anderson may have wanted to be a dental hygienist growing up, but eventually, even she realized that that there was a much more profitable way to make some cash and that her considerable assets should not go wasted.

And speaking of offense, I, for one, do not believe that Hester should be eligible for the offensive rookie of the year. Just my opinion and I am too lazy to go into much of an explanation (not to mention that my office holiday party begins in 10 minutes).

So, let's enjoy Hester and his talent. But, let's also remember the lesson taught by Dante Hall, Super Joe, Jerome Walton, Mark Prior, and Dexy... and take a step back and breathe. Hester is terrific, but as long as Rex is still behind center... will it matter? (I just cannot help myself!)

And to think that I did not even mention the Baha Men. I mean, after releasing "Who Let the Dog's Out" and being named the Nickelodeon Kids Choice Favorite Band of the Year in 2002, who possibly could have seen their downfall coming?

Have a great weekend!

Bears 23, Bucs 0

* Who holds the current record for returns for TD with 13?