Blackhawk Down

And so the series is over. Look, I know that everyone is disappointed that it ended as quickly as it did, but, truth be told, Detroit simply had more talent and, perhaps, more importantly, more experience. I mean, players like Joe Dumars, Isiah Thomas and Bill Laimbeer have been through the playoff wars before and, as a result, know exactly what it takes. And you have to admit that trying to stop Mark Aguirre and Vinnie Johnson from getting position in front of the net is awfully difficult. In fact, I do not believe it was until Juan Uribe and Bartolo Colon decided to challenge Davie Hogan at the 2006 Castle Rock pie eating contest that two athletes with bigger butts were seen in the same room. I can't say, however, whether Juan or Bartolo drank a bottle of cator oil or swallowed a raw egg before the contest... Either way, I'm pretty sure it was not pretty.

Anyway, I am sure we all agree that comparisons to the late nineties battles between the Bulls and Pistons are inevitable -- a veteran championship team teaching the young up-and-comers a lesson or two about what it takes to win. And, unfortunately, the Blackhawks had to learn a crucial lesson: to be the best, eventually you have to take on and beat the best. This is the same lesson the Bulls and countless other teams have learned as they grew into champions. I mean, who can forget Coach Buttermaker, Tanner Boyle and his band of Jews, spics, pansies and booger eatin' morons (his words, not mine...) who learned the exact same lesson after coming so close to knocking off the hated Yankees. No word, however, regarding whether Brent Seabrook suggested that the Red Wings take their trophies and shoved them straight up their asses (although I'd be willing to bet that the entire Clarence S. Campbell Bowl may very well fit up Aguirre's plentiful derierre).

The Bulls, of course, eventually exposed the Pistons as a bunch of classless jackasses; finally shaking off migraine headaches and shoves into the basket stanchion to beat Detroit in the '90-91 Eastern Conference Finals. Now, I really do not know whether the Blackhawks will be able to kick Henrik in his Zetterberg next year, the year after that, or in some other year in the future, but it is awfully hard to not be excited about the coming years. The team grew by leaps and bounds this year and the arrow is undeniably pointing up, making it very difficult to argue that this team is not poised for a long run of success.

The primary reason for such optimism is the team's much talked about youth. The Blackhawks are, after all, the youngest team in hockey. Now, nobody should fool themselves into thinking that injuries and egos and contracts and fights over who gets to be the first to date Anna Kournikouva are not going to come into play at some point, but, for now, there is no reason not to conclude that Timbuk 3 was right... time to go look for your old Ray-Ban's. Say hello to Joel Goodsen and god willing, you will run into Rebecca DeMornay on the 'L'.

* So, exactly how young are the Blackhawks? Well, anyone can point out that so many players are under a certain age, but I prefer to put things into what I consider to be the proper context. That said, consider this... of the 20 Hawk skaters who played the vast majority of the minutes this season, all 20 are younger than Cubs' rookie Bobby Scales. Ok, so Bobby's long history playing in the same league as David Kelton and Crash Davis is well known, so consider this... 18 of them are younger than Micah Hoffpauir. And, while it is true that Micah is not exactly young, an amazing 14 of the players are younger that last year's NL Rookie of the Year Todd Hundley, er Geovany Soto. Wow!

But that does not tell the story as it relates to the difference in experience between the Red Wings and the Hawks. Well, how about the fact that Patick Kane was two, Jonathan Toews was three and even a "veteran" like Patrick Sharp was playing with Chewbacca and GI Joe action figures at the ripe old age of eight when Red Wings' captain Niklas Lidstrom played his first NHL game. And how about Chris Chelios? When Chelios played his first game for the Montreal Canadians, only eight of the players were alive and it would still be four and one-half years before Pat and Donna Kane of Buffalo would give birth to a son named Patrick. Of course, Chelios broke into the NHL four years before Mark Grace ever set foot in a Wrigley Field batter's box, which may say more about the fact that it is truly time for Christos to take advantage of the senior cup of coffee discount than it does about the relative youth of the Hawks. I'll let you decide...

Want more? How about the fact that seven Blackhawks were not alive for either the Challenger disaster or Henry Waechter's safety in Super Bowl XX (and Andrew Ladd was only a little more than a month old), eleven did not witness Leon Durham's error in the seventh inning of the fifth and deciding game of the '84 NLCS, and not a one of them were with us when the introduction of a brand new 24-hour all-sports cable network allowed Chris Berman to become the most annoying man on television, Gloria Gaynor proclaimed that she will survive and William Shatner was better known as the original Captain Kirk than the idiotic moron from the Priceline commercials. The truth is that I have not seen a group of kids have such success since a quintet of British/ Jamaican younsters asked everyone to pass the Dutchie on the left-hand side (and, just for the record, at least 16 of the Hawks players would not have had a chance to hear the song played by Larry Lujack and Little Tommy on WLS AM even if they did not live in Moose Guts or Poutine or Molsonville or someother bizarre "city" in Canada).

Oh yeah, and only Campbell, Pahlsson, Walker and Havlat (and only by nine days) were alive when Random Thoughts Hottie #1 was born. I mention this for no other reason than to be able to post a long overdue picture of the lovely Miss Alba and to everyone to smile, if only for a minute.

So what does this all mean? It means that Roger Daltrey and Pete Townsend were wrong... the kids are not alright. The truth is that the kids are a heck of a lot better than alright. And I don't think I am overstating it when I say that it is reasonable to have realistic expectations of a Stanley Cup in Chicago in the not-too-distant future.

* By the way, I do mind other guys dancing with my girl.

* Switching sports, I do want to point out that a lot of trouble could have been avoided if Sweet Lou had just read the Random Thoughts and taken my advice. Yes, he was smart enough to give Bobby Scales a chance to claim Prior's old locker at Principal Park in Des Moines, but what about Derrek Lee? I cannot pretend that anything could have been done about Big Z's explosion, his bump of the ump, his mighty hurl toward the left-center bleachers, or his general insanity, but, if only Lou had listened to my suggestion, the poor Gatorade machine could have been spared!! Instead of being guarded by Lee, security for the Rockin' Raspberry and Luscious Limeade was left to Ryan Dempster and he was too busy making his early October plans for a vacation to Moose Guts. I guess Lee's bout with the Shane Andrews Flu just did not last long enough.

* Personally, I did not think that Z's "explosion" was quite as bad as everyone made it out to be. Yes, he went a little nuts, but it did not seem to be that out of control in my opinion. That said, I am sure he will be suspended and rightfully so. It will be interesting to see whether Parker Brothers is suspended too. Just because... well, you know, the umps have it out for him and all.

* Finally, going unreported is the fact that Sammy Sosa Soriano drifted over the catch Z's mighty hurl, camped under the flight of the ball, did his cute little hop, and dropped the ball.

I hate that frickin' hop.

More post mortem on the Blackhawks tomorrow. And, please do not forget to vote in the poll if you have not already done so!!!!