The sad truth is that the Cubs are having a harder time scoring than...
- If you are a longtime reader of the Random Thoughts, please read below.
... Andy Stitzer, before finally deciding to stop hanging out watching "Survivor" with the old folks and before he met Trish.
- If you are new to the Random Thoughts, please read below.
... the Shermanator at one of Stifler's parties (that one is too good to not share with all the RT rookies).
* Yes, I did love "Choose Your Own Adventure" books when I was a kid.
* Anyone else wondering when it is time to give Derrek Lee and his .230 batting average primary responsibility for guarding the big bin of sunflower seeds? Don't get me wrong, I like Derrek, but I do have to admit that I am very curious about what Micah Hoffpauir can do if given the opportunity to play every day. I mean, wasn't the supposed "missing piece" a left-handed bat with power? Well, looky what we have here...a left-handed bat with power.
* Milton Bradley, of course, was supposed to be the answer. Well, if he is the answer, I don't think I want to know what the question is. Perhaps "What do you get when you take Scott Bullett, Damon Buford, the pre-androlone version of Sarge Jr. and a pile of crap and mix them all together?"
* A week or so ago, Parker Brothers commented "I didn't come here to suck and I know that so far I have sucked." Well apparantly Hasbro has also come her to get doubled off first base after drawing a bases-on-balls to lead off an inning. Looks like Kenner found Moises Alou's old baserunning manual (yeah, I'm bringing out all of the old favorites).
* By the way, Geo Soto, you're about three more weak fly balls away from taking over security detail for the Gatorade jug. You and Derrek can discuss how amazing it is that Koyie Hill went from almost losing all five of his fingers on one hand to being an everyday major league catcher.
* Mad Chemist, Bearister, AllHailTheChief, Bugs Bunny, Jay Cutler, Pat Foley, Boris the Cat, President Obama, Mick Jagger, the guy whose credit is detroyed forcing him to serve iced tea and sing catchy jungles to tourists in t-shirts, Dylan McKay, the Son of Svengoolie, Gorgon the Magnificent, Dr. Gregory House, the Geico pile of money that you could be saving if you switched your car insurance. There you go... a sampling of people and creatures who have exactly two less hits than Mike Fontenot since May 5, encompassing 36 at bats!
* Hi Bobby. Hope you enjoyed your cup of coffee. Here is a nice "I played in the major leagues and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirt. The bus for Iowa leaves at 5:17. Say hello to Ray Kinsella and Todd Lickliter for me and please be sure to pay proper homage to the Prior and Wood memorial towel drill statute outside of Principal Park in Des Moines. Oh, and I hear the bridges of Madison County are to die for.
* At least the Cubs' offensive performance prevents me from complaining about their inability to get a runner in from third base with under two outs. I am also having a difficult time complaining about the bullpen. I can, however, pretend I am a fan of Chief Wahoo and complain about the newest Indians' closer. In case you are not aware, Tribe fans have been on quite a roller coaster ride the last couple of days, compliments of Iowa's favorite former tourist attraction, Kerry Wood. Two nights ago, Wood gave up four runs in the bottom of the ninth in a 6-5 Indians' loss, while, last night, Wood walked the bases loaded before striking out the last two Royals' hitters to perserve a 6-5 Indians' victory. Kerry's escape without giving up a run actually lowered his season ERA to 7.71!! I like Kerry just as much as I like D Lee, but if I really was a Cleveland fan, I would be looking up the phone number of the California State Penitentary to see when Ricky Vaughn's sentence is up. After all, the sunflower seeds and sports drink need guarding at Progressive Jacobs Field as well.
* At least the Cubs' offensive performance prevents me from complaining about their inability to get a runner in from third base with under two outs. I am also having a difficult time complaining about the bullpen. I can, however, pretend I am a fan of Chief Wahoo and complain about the newest Indians' closer. In case you are not aware, Tribe fans have been on quite a roller coaster ride the last couple of days, compliments of Iowa's favorite former tourist attraction, Kerry Wood. Two nights ago, Wood gave up four runs in the bottom of the ninth in a 6-5 Indians' loss, while, last night, Wood walked the bases loaded before striking out the last two Royals' hitters to perserve a 6-5 Indians' victory. Kerry's escape without giving up a run actually lowered his season ERA to 7.71!! I like Kerry just as much as I like D Lee, but if I really was a Cleveland fan, I would be looking up the phone number of the California State Penitentary to see when Ricky Vaughn's sentence is up. After all, the sunflower seeds and sports drink need guarding at Progressive Jacobs Field as well.
* One of the hottest rumors floating around Major League Baseball is that Jake Peavy will be traded to Chicago after all. Yes, boys and girls, Jake Peavy is now expected to become the newest member of the Chicago WHITE SOX. Wait, are you kidding me? The White Sox???? Why don't you just steal my lunch money, stuff me in a garbage can and roll me home? Why don't you just tell me that Toews and Kane are a figment of my imagination and Zhamnov and Daze are still on the Hawks' top line. Why don't you tell me that come September 13, Rex the Wonder Dog is going to be behind center. Can this possibly be true?? Oh sure Peavy is struggling this year, but he hit .265 in '08. To heck with pitching. The Cubs need him to play the infield.
Gotta go... I'm going to see if I can convince Tony LaRussa to start Todd Wellemeyer tonight...
3 comments:
I like the quick hits format. Nicely done.
I was just getting ready to make a general comment about how Micah Hoffpauir could be that left-handed bat the lineup’s been missing… Sure, they’d be paying D-Lee $80,246.91 to sit there and protect the economy-sized David bin each game, but at this point, that sounds like a decent value. Hoff deserves a shot to play every day; his .871 OPS should provide enough justification.
Given a chance I think any of us could bring that difference to one hit.
I'm hoping for Peavy to the Sox. I would love to see Peavy on the Sox! Floyd and Danks are causing me too much grief. Like the current 16-0 Sox game isn't enought to make you ill. Oh, I'm sorry, 20-0. Whenever you put a guy on the mound that makes David Wells, or for that matter ME, look skinny, time to move on. GET PEAVY!
Post a Comment