Wait a Minute...Does This Mean No Gunston?

So, after weeks of speculation, Iniana University has its man. As most of you know, over the last six weeks, it seems as though everyone from John Calipari to John Beilein to John Cusak to Elton John has been mentioned in connection with the Hoosiers' head coaching vacancy. Every day a new rumor reared its ugly head, lighting up the internet chat boards, and triggering a stream of denials from across the country. In fact, just this morning, I told WrigleyBill's wife, a fellow-Hoosier fan and Random Thoughts reader, that I had a feeling that nobody knew what in the heck they were talking about and that my gut was that we were going to be suprised with the choice.

And suprised we are.

There are two very good reasons why former Oklahoma head coach Kelvin Sampson has never been mentioned in the Random Thoughts in connection with the Iniana job and the reasons are quite simple. One...I believe I had Sampson #1,334 on my not-so-short-list (clearly above the World's Largest Drum, but below 7'4 beanpole Ralph Sampson -- in fact, I think I may have had the Boomer Sooner Wagon ahead of Kelvin). Two...I just don't see the connnection. Sampson (Kelvin, that is) has no apparent midwest or Big 10 ties and no ties to IU.

Now, I suppose that I am exaggerating a bit by listing Sampson so low on my list. He has an excellent win percentage at a traditional football school (72%). Further, the man clearly can recruit, having signed five high school players ranked in the Top 75 for 2006. I just think that there were (and are) better options out there.

Of course, there were worse options as well. Way worse. Everyone raise a glass in celebration of the fact that Steve Alford is not bringing his truckload of hairspray to Bloomington. Looks like the southern Indiana rapists will have to find another hero. Cheers!

How this affects the current players, most importantly D.J. White and Robert Vaden, is anyone's guess. As I have mentioned in the past, Vaden and White returning to Iniana is the difference between contending for the Big 10 title and fighting with Northwestern and Minnesota for a seat next to the rats in the conference cellar.

Finally, and I have no interest in being politically correct here so I am just going to come out and say it...I'm very suprised that Iniana selected an African-American. After the racial bashing that Mike Davis endured, I figured that there was little chance that IU would go this route. The fact that I felt this way may be an ugly commentary on society, but reality isn't always pretty.

So, Kelvin Sampson is the new head coach at Iniana. I hope he has years and years of success, but ultimately I can't help but feel let down right now. Kind of like wanting a Death Star Space Station for Christmas and only getting a Landspeeder.

Now if IU can only aspire to become a dominant power on the college basketball landscape like George Mason!

Speaking of George Mason, there has been a lot of discussion about what effect their Final Four run will have on the college basketball landscape. I believe that utlimately it will have little, if any, effect. Those, like ESPN Radio's Harry Teinowitz, who claim that big time recruits are now going to be banging down the door of mid-major schools don't understand the psyche of today's (often moronic) high school athletes. Just as "all the really good looking girls are still going to go out with the guys from Mohawk because they've got all the money," all the really good players are still going to go to the high-profile programs. That is just the way it is.

(I recognize that the above reference is awfully obscure. Major kudos to any of you who can identify the actor who spoke that line and the movie from which it is from...post your answer below).

Now keep in mind that Harry Teinowitz is not the world's most-reliable source of sports information. Yesterday, he waxed poetic about "UCLA's Baron Davis' coast-to-coast layup to beat Missouri in the first round of the 1995 Tournament." Harry, it wasn't Baron Davis. It was Tyus Edney. And it wasn't the first round. It was the second. Picky? Maybe...but somebody tell me why this guy is one the air and I'm helping people understand how to label bathroom cleaners.

Finally, after minutes of intense negotiations, we finally have a new official name for the college basketball team that plays its home games at Phog Allen Fieldhouse in Lawrence, Kansas. Arguing that referring to the Jayhawks as the Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named failed miserably, Mrs. Bearister asked that the moniker be dropped. Unwilling to actually call the team by its actual name, I suggested The-Team-Formally-Known-As-The-Team-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Admitting that this is too long, we finally agreed on Team Voldemort.

Now you can sleep soundly at night knowing that this has finally been settled...

By the way, if IU was so intent on hiring Sampson, shouldn't they have considered hiring George Washington's Karl Hobbs as a co-coach. Kelvin and Hobbs...get it? Boo...hiss...boo...boo!