Simulate This

Before I jump into our two remaining NCAA regions, I need to say my piece about the Chicago National League Ballclub and Mark Prior's now-discovered shoulder injury. Look, it's hard to be angry at Prior and probably unfair. He may be the world's biggest wuss, but I have to hope that he wants to be out there as much as we want to see him on the mound.

The Cubs organization is a whole different story. Mark Prior throws simulated games. Kerry Wood throws simulated games. Ryan Dempster throws simulated games. You get the picture. Well, let me ask you a couple of simple questions...when was the last time you heard that Mark Buerhle was throwing a simulated game? How about Jon Garland? (No, Sox fans, it has nothing to do with the media coverage...blah, blah, blah).

I am getting awfully sick and tired of Cubs management and their overall approach to the game that I love. I'm not one of those types who will sit here and criticize the Tribune Company for refusing to spend money or for treating the team like a business. In fact, I believe that the team does spend money (although clearly not always wisely). But something is wrong. I can't quite put my finger on it but I'm coming terribly close to believeing that a simulated world series is the only world series that us Cubs' fans can hope for.

Let's talk about something a little more joyful, shall we?

Yesterday, we discussed the Oakland and Minneapolis regions, so let's head to the other side of the bracket and finish our look at the 2006 NCAA Tournament. We'll start with the "Yes Michael Jordan Did Play Here, But He Stunk and Ruined Our Franchise By Drafting Kwame Brown" Region

Upset Special: I have made my feelings regarding the Committee's selection of Utah State quite clear, but me thinks that the Aggies just might prove me wrong and pull off a first-round upset. After all, look at the what Corey Patterson has been able to do in response to all those who criticized the Cubs for selecting him in the draft as early as they did. Oh, never mind...

Best Mascot: Sparty is pretty cool, But I have got to go with the Wichita State Wheat Shocker. I have to admit that I have not seen him since I attended the 1989 tournament, but I'll always have fond memories. At least back then, he had hair that only Sammy Hagar could love...

Injury Issue: Not so much an injury as an attempt to injure. George Mason will have to play its first round game without second-leading scorer Tony Skinn, after he was suspended for punching a Hofstra player in the groin during the Colonial tournament.

Best Player You Have Never Heard Of: I suspect that many of you have heard of Brandon Roy, but I'm going with Washington's superstar anyway. He is an all-around talent who helps his team win in a number of different ways. You probably have not heard of Utah State's Jaycee Carroll, but he is worth checking out.

Best Player You Have Heard Of: Tyler Hansbrough. North Carolina's 20-year old freshman plays like a man ready for the NBA. He can dominate a game. Think Scot Pollard without the pink hair and with talent.

Worst Player You Have Heard Of: Oh boy...do I anger Illini fans, Spartan fans or Kentucky Wildcat fans? Why not all three? I'll go with Dee Rajon Paul Brown Rondo Davis. Choosing between those three is like choosing between Random Thoughts hottie Jessica Alba, Erin Andrews and Kate Beckinsale. Why choose if you don't have to.

Final Four or First Round Exit: North Carolina. It will be interesting how Carolina's young players respond to the pressure of the Big Dance. A potentially troublesome Murray State squad awaits in the first round.

Be Sure to Watch: Washington-Utah State: it should be an excellent game and features the aforementioned Brandon Roy. Tennessee-Winthrop: If there is going to be a real shocker, this is likely to be it. Kentucky-UAB: If for no other reason than to count the number of times that the announcer says "Squeaky."

Don't Waste Your Time: Watching Illinois versus Air Force. I've beaten this horse to death already this week.

Screw Job: North Carolina. UNC probably deserved a #2 seed, but instead gets an experienced Michigan State team in the second round. Further, instead of playing in their own backyard...Greensboro...they have to play the Spartans in Dayton. You know those teams from the ACC like Duke and Carolina just don't get any respect do they? Eh Billy Packer?

Did You Know?: Tyler Hansbrough may be a 20 year old freshman, but Utah State has a 28 year old senior. Was he on a Mormon mission you ask? Nope. The Aggies' David Pak spent eight years in the clink for a crime that need not be mentioned in such a family-friendly setting. Oh, but I'm sure he was handing out rations and helping repair the chapel while he was spending his time inside.

Holy moly, nobody noticed that I totally screwed up the regions in yesterday's post, unless Atlanta now has an oversized amusement park/ mall and 3M has moves its center of operations there... Well then, let's just refer to the real Minneapolis region as the "Thank God We Got Rid of Randy Moss and Daunte Culpepper...Wait a Minute, We Suck!" Region.

Upset Special: Many to choose from. Pacific-Boston College, UW Milwaukee- Oklahoma, and South Alabama- Florida all look promising. I'd go with the Milwaukee- Oklahoma matchup. Why because Oklahoma is bad. I hate to be blunt, but there it is...

Best Macot: Huh. I'm not really sure what the Montana Grizzly looks like, but I figure it must be pretty cool. We know that the Florida Gator is stylin' And how can we not mention the Hampton Clam? But why does it look like a Pirate?

Injury Issue: Villanova's Allan Ray and his eye injury understandably has received the most attention, but a sickness that has inflicted Ohio State's Matt Terwilliger could be one of those little factors that has a large effect. Terwilliger is Terrence Dials only capable backup and his potential absence would leave the Buckeye forntcourt Kate Moss-thin.

Best Player You Have Never Heard Of: We've got four outstanding candidates to choose from in this region: Northern Iowa's Ben Jacobsen, Villanova's Kyle Lowry, Boston College's Craig Smith (who may now be a household name after his ACC tournament performance), and Wisconsin's Alando Tucker. My pick is Jacobsen because he has proven to be a money player in the past

Best Player You Have Heard Of: Villanove is fortunate to feature four outstanding guards (including the injured Allan Ray). Randy Foye is the best of the bunch.

Worst Player You Have Heard Of. Taj Gray is a 6'9 forward for the Oklahoma Sooners. He is big and strong and looks like he is 45 years old. There, now you have heard of him. He stinks.

Final Four of First Round Exit: Boston College and Florida. Both teams proved during their conference tournaments that they are very dangerous,but both have holes that, if exploited, can have them heading home after the first game.

Be Sure to Watch: UW-Milwaukee versus Oklahoma. Forty-five years old. Really.

Don't Waste Your Time With: Illinois versus Air Force. Oh wait, I already mentioned that one. Unless my name is Phil Jackson, I would not waste my time with Nevada-Montana either.

Screw Job: Boston College. See Monday's post for more information (what can I say, I'm tired...)

I know this was not my best work, but it's almost midnight and I need to catch some Z's. That said, I have never taken the opportunity to properly thank those of you who plug into my Random Sports Thoughts on a daily basis. Your support and readership is truly appreciated.

Finally, given that I will be spending the next 96 hours drowned in a sea of chicken wings, coca-cola and basketball, I will not be posting until next Monday. Please feel free to write and read your own simulated Random Thoughts. Whatever gets you ready for Opening Day...