Emptying My Brain

After yesterday's rather in-depth and, at times serious, discussion of the steroid issue and cheating in general, I figured that today we would take a step back and talk about a number of considerably smaller issues, news items and random facts that have recently been floating around in my head. By the way, thanks to everyone who posted their comments on the cheating issue...I'm happy that I was able to get an intelligent conversation started.

* Interesting to see a White Sox fan actually admit that A.J. Pierzynski's "steal" of first base during last year's ALCS should be considered cheating. Of course, Random Thoughts commenter "My Wife" seems to think that practically everything is cheating. After reading her truly-passionate comments, it looks as though I am going to have to permanently cancel my plans to discuss the possibility of including an "Andrei Kirilenko provision" in our marriage

* And what timing...just when Anna Benson has filed for divorce from hubby Kris.

* Okay, okay...I promise. If I ever get to play euchre with Jessica Alba I won't renege. And I'll remind her that it is cheating to put on extra layers of clothing before starting any other card games.

* Heard an excellent interview with White Sox pitcher Brandon McCarthy on the radio the other day (McCarthy, by the way, is one baseball player that, testing or no-testing, we know definitively has never tried steroids). Seems like a truly genuine, good guy. McCarthy was asked all the usual bullcrap questions, inlcuding "what is the best part about being in the major leagues" (to which he replied financial security) and eventually the topic turned to new centerfielder Brian Anderson. Apparently, Anderson marches to the beat of his own drummer and fashions himself the 2006 version of all-Chicago womanizer Mark Grace. McCarthy stated that he likes to hang out with Anderson because he is bound to get "splashback." You see, Anderson, apparently was asked the same "best part about the major leagues" question, and instead of a cliched answer like "financial security" or "achieving your dream," the ultra-honest Anderson replied that the best part is all the tail that he now gets. It is nice to know that baseball's answer to Colin Farrell resides in the south side.

* Something tells me that on the north side, Weasley is not having quite as much luck.

* Insiders report that Ozzie and Sox management are really concerned about closer Bobby Jenks' inability to put down the Krispy Kremes. In fact, rumor has it, that the uniforms department is trying to dig up a couple of old Carlos Castillo jerseys for him to wear.

* Why in the heck am I referencing Carlos Castillo when no White Sox fans (except "my wife") read this? I'd have better luck getting a nod of understanding by mentioning Mike Harkey.

* If Jenks' binge continues, Ozzie is going to need to grow longer arms for his traditional call-to-the-pen.

* Aramis hit another home run yesterday, a three-run shot in the 1st inning. Alas, his recent two game stretch during which he went a combined 3-7 from the plate has lowered his batting average to .538.

* Yes, I did see that the Cubs has officially renamed the overrated bench seats that lie just outside the outfield walls as the "Bud Light Bleachers." Why not just go ahead and sell everything? How about the Cusb offense brought to you by the Youth Hockey Association of America, where there is no hitting?

* Hey, I just heard that Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.

* From the "you probably missed it" category...Buffalo Grove High School alum and current Notre Dame safety Tom Zbikowski has been granted permission by Notre Dame and the NCAA to make his professional boxing debut on June 10 at Madison Square Garden. Now before you question how Zbikowski can accept money as a professional boxer, but the NCAA flatly denied professional snow boarder Jeremy Bloom's request to be allowed to play football at the University of Colorado, let me remind you that the NCAA allows athletes to make money professionally in other sports as long as they do not accept endorsements. Looks like the Cubs will have to rethink their plans for the Tom Zbikowski sponsored "drunk frat guys who really do not care about the Cubs and just want to fight" section in the "Bud Light Bleachers."

* The Bulls play the Bobcats tonight in a crucial game should Scott Skiles' club wish to earn the right to get swept by the Pistons in the first round of the playoffs. Wait a minute, why in the heck am I wasting valuable blog space writing about this?

*Since the NBA is complaining about equal time rights in the Random Thoughts, I offer you this statistic...Kobe Bryant has missed at least 20 shots in a game 12 times this year (including missing 24 shots three different times). He has missed at least 17 shots in a game, 25 times!!! Nice to see Phil Jackson sticking to the team concept. What would the Sioux chieftains say?

* Aren't you delighted that I am willing to do all this one-of-a-kind research for you?

* Wierd, wierd, but true, coincidence: I'm currently reading the outstanding book "The Last Dance" by well-known author John Feinstein (author of Bob Knight's book, Season on the Brink). In the first chapter, Feinstein talks about how Roy Williams angered Carolina fans by refusing to take the job in 2000. He then labels Williams as the "Coach-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Williams, of course, was, at the time, the coach of the school that plays its home games at Phog Allen Field House in Lawrence, Kansas. Completely true. That's kinda spooky, eh budday?

* Sorry, I just went Canadian on you for a second there. Hey, I just can't get enough of the exciting NHL right now!!!! I'm hugging my Barry Melrose bobble head doll as we speak.

* ESPN presented its "All Time NCAA Basketball Tournament" on Wednesday night. I still can't figure out whether it was the biggest waste of three hours of television programming since the six unforgettable episodes of Saved By the Bell: The College Years, or whether it was actually kind of cool. For those of you who missed it (and I suspect that includes all seven of you), 65 teams were seeded and bracketed and fans got to vote on who would win each game, up until the 1982 North Carolina Tar Heels were pronounced champions. What was really odd was that ESPN assembled quite a group of experts (Jay Bilas, Nolan Richardson, Jim Calhoun, etc) who commented on the winners like the games had actually been played. They would announce that the 1985 Georgetown Hoyas defeated the 1980 Louisville Cardinals and then someone would say something like "well, Georgetown's pressure defense really caused havoc with the flow of Louisville's offense and the Cardinals' bench played poorly in the loss." Huh? What they should have said is "looks like there are more dorks in Washington D.C. on their computers tonight," "or looks like all the folks in Louisville are too busy marrying their cousins to vote."

* ESPN's grand graphic for the tournament, consisted of a number of floating individual team logos. There was the Carolina ram, the blue Duke 'D," the IU candlesticks, and the UK symbolizing Kentucky. Can somebody please explain to me, however, what the Illinois 'I' was doing in there?

* I am happy to report that Air Force did not make the field of 65.

* By the way, '82 Carolina winning over the last team to go undefeated throughout an entire season in the final of the tournament is a load of crap. The General's Hoosiers whould crush the Heels. Looks like the fine folks of Southern Indiana have to graduate from their VIC 20's and technologically enter the 21st century. It's called the in-ter-net.

* As loing as I am ripping on commenter Jeff C's favorite school, can somebody please tell me what type of pictures Dee Brown has of the various members of the national sports media? Last year, he was named the player of the year, by some foolish publication and, this year, he is the top vote-getter on the All-American second team? It may surprise you to learn that I actually like Dee, but saying he is overrated is like saying that Rex the Wonder Dog will get hurt at some point next season. Both are points that you really do not want to argue with.

* This morning on Mike & Mike, Bill Walton went on an uninterrupted, 12-minute, stream-of-consciousness discourse about UCLA's return to the Final Four. Somehow he managed to get Jerry Garcia, mexican food, and the military establishment into the dissertation, ultimately concluding that UCLA's trip to the Final Four this year is evidence that the "curse of March 23" has finally been broken and that UCLA can now rightfully reclaim its standing as college basketball royalty (apparently, UCLA lost a heart-breaker on that date that he has not gotten over) (and talk about a stream of consciousness run-on). Uh Bill, I don't want to rain on your parade, but didn't UCLA win the championship in 1995? I mean, who can forget George Zidek?

* Bill also compared Gonezaga coach Mark Few to John Wooden which begs the question...does he take his morning coffee with LSD or PCP?

* Speaking of John Wooden, recent comments by the Wizard of Westwood truly help illustrate the importance of high-school basketball in Wooden's home state of Indiana. Before taking the reigns at UCLA, Wooden was a high-school coach at South Bend Central. Wooden now says that he would trade at least three of his NCAA championships at UCLA for just one Indiana HS title.

* So South Carolina won the NIT for a second consecutive year. Great. Talk about a victory that means absolutely nothing. Kind of like Cubs' games in August.

* Sheesh, we are still more than two days from the opener and already I am about as optimistic as a live cat in a Shanghai market.

* May I remind you that Ronny Cedeno is the Cubs' shortstop, Glendon Rusch is the #2 starter and a trade for Vladimir Guerrero is not imminent. Although, I hear that Sammy Sosa is not doing anything right now.

* Aren't we all just delighted that Tony Skinn gets his opportunity to play in the Final Four. I'm not going to once again go over my distaste for the way that the media has handled Skinn's "lack of judgement," but I do want to remind everyone that there is a right way to handle a kid who intentionally attempts to injure another player. As some of you are aware, Oregon's Aaron Brooks threw a vicious forearm directly into the nose of Washington's Ryan Appleby in a Pac 10 tournament game. He was immediately thrown out of the game and automatically suspended for the next game. The Pac 10 has now also suspended Brooks for the first game of next season. Believing that the punishment is still not severe enough, Oregon has suspended Brooks for the Ducks' game at Washington next year, to be played in Seattle. Oh yeah, did I mention that Brooks hails from the Emerald City? Bravo Oregon!

* UCLA backup center Lorenzo Mata reportedly broke his nose during practice yesterday. This means, and I say this with absolutely no malice in my heart, that the ugliest guy to take the court in Indianapolis on Saturday will now have to wear a mask. Now you know why I said "reportedly."

* LSU 62, UCLA 59

* George Mason 78, Florida 77 (Thanks to "My Wife" and her dropping of the hammer, its not like the Erin Andrews effect means anything anymore)

* Mason ain't really gonna win the game. Reverse the teams, please (and then watch me delete this sentence should Gunston's guys pull off another upset)

* Finally, the WWE has invaded Rosemont for Sunday night's Wrestlemania!!! Free HGH to the first 10,000 through the turnstiles. Oh crap, looks like Sammy Sosa is busy after all.

Have a great weekend!!!!