Don't Forget Marmol's Ears...

Well, at least the fans in Cleveland should be happy...

Quick notes from last night's All-Star Game...

* I enjoyed seeing President Obama at the game and thought he really sounded like he knew what he was talking about when being interviewed by Tim McCarver and the smarmy Joe Buck during the second inning. I was also happy to see that he refused to "play politics" and actually wore a White Sox jacket when he took the mound to throw out the first pitch. Can you imagine if Hillary had won the presidency? "Oh sure I grew up in Park Ridge and, therefore, felt perfectly comfortable cheering on Terry Wood, and Sammy Saso, and Moisture Alou during the '03 playoffs. And, of course, I am a life long Yankees fan and love David Jeter and Mariusz Rivera thanks to my well-timed move to the NYC. And, well, I am sure you all realize that if an opportunity to further my career pops up in Southern California, I am more than ready to eat some tofu and don Dodger Blue. But, deep down everyone knows I am a middle-america girl at heart and fondly remember the days of Timmy Herr and Len Oberkfell and Darren Parter. Go St. Luis Cardinails!"

* "Wait a minute, I thought they played in Arizona!"

* Carl Crawford made an excellent catch and was awarded the MVP as a result. Frankly, anyone who watched the game realizes that there simply was nobody else to give the award to. Pujols ruined the Disney script thanks to an 0-3 performance at the plate and an error that opened the door for two runs to score. Yadier Molina had a nice hit, but did little else. Tony LaRussa lost games of "Quarters" and "Three-Man" to Joe Torre. Ozzie Smith keeps getting more and more overrated as time passes. George Hendrick is nowhere to be found. It turns out David Eckstein is still in the 3rd grade. Willie McGee is too ugly. Keith Hernandez can't get to third base, let alone home (oh, please someone understand this!!!). Like I said, there really was nobody else. Kurt Warner? How about Erin Andrews? She did a decent job putting up with the insufferable Chris Berman during the Home Run Derby and was presumably still in St. Louis for the game.

* AL pitchers recorded 18 consecutive outs at one point in the game confusing the heck out of thedaughter who noted that "daddy said the Cubs were not playing tonight." I myself, am still looking for confirmation that it was, in fact, Ryan Braun, Hanley Ramirez and David Wright batting and not theleftfielder, Mike Fontenot and Koyie Hill under the influence of some finely prepared Polyjuice Potion.

* All I heave heard for the last three days is about how classy Cardinals' fans are. They appreciate the game. They respect the other team. Blah blah blah. Nice to see them show their class when Theodore Roosevelt Lilly was introduced. My guess is that Charlie Manuel elected not to use Lilly in the game out of fear that he would be pelted with spareribs and Jack Clark "IOU notes." You can claim it was all in good fun, but, in my mind, calling them "classy" is like calling Sascha Baron Cohen an introvert or claiming that the kids who are picked to be on MTV's The Real World are not promiscious. In other words, actions speak louder than words and booing speaks even louder. Note that I do not have a problem with the booing, it is the fact that Joe Buck kept telling everyone how great they are (did I mention how smarmy he is?) and would not shut up about it. Hopefully, once they get indoor plumbing, they will not be so crabby.

* Anyone as impressed as I am that Ben Zobrist did, in fact, face Heath Bell in the 8th inning? If Zobrist had gotten a bloop single, I would have had to go out and buy a lottery ticket.

* The NL's Charlie Manuel did seem to manage the game to win, but his decision to pinch hit Prince Fielder in the 2nd inning was idiotic and I commented on its stupidity when it happened. The second innning is when you waste Freddy Sanchez or Jayson Werth, not when you put up a guy who can hit the ball 500+ feet. As an NL fan, I sure wish Fielder was available to take his cuts against Rivera in the ninth, in a situation where one swing could tie the game.

* Instead, Miguel Tejada made the last out. Let me say one thing about Tejada, he has clearly been spending an awful lot of time with Jenny Craig. Either than or not spending quite as much time with Victor Conte. I'm betting on the latter and his precipitous drop in power numbers offers all the evidence I need. His weight loss makes Jared the Subway nerd look like he hasn't even tried (by the way, yes, it was the RT that originally commented on Tejada's falling power numbers way back in '06 -- long before he was ever mentioned by Palmeiro, Canseco or anyone else. You can look it up and then thank your lucky stars that you know me).

* Finally, in yesterday's post, I joked about the size of Ryan Howard's nose, commenting that there is likely a family of nine living in each nostril. I took a really good look at him last night and I am simply not ready to give it up. In fact, as I watched him imitate theleftfielder by striking out on a pitch that he could not have hit with a wiffle ball bat, I started to think of how lucky he must have been in high school. While the rest of the kids were sneaking their alcohol into the football game by wearing a Boda Bag under a bulky sweater or by trying to hide three bottles of Little Kings in their underwear, think of how easy it must have been for Ryan. Heck, he could have fit an entire pony keg up there. Cheers!

* Finally, finally... (and this is for those of you who have been fans of the RT for a long time, those of you who are big Illinois basketball fans and those of you who watched the NCAA tournament with me during the first few years of this decase). I want you to imagine Ryan Howard's nose, paired with Marcus Griffin's mouth, and Ryan Braun's eyes. Now, throw in Ryan Franklin's ridiculous chin hair. Really picture it. Hilarious!!!