Keeping the Dream Alive

Calling me a pessimist is a bit like calling Random Thoughts Hottie #1 attractive. It is a bit like calling Kelvin Sampson a cheater. It is a bit like calling Nancy Pelosi a bitch (regardless of your politcal leanings...). We do, after all, hold these truths to be self-evident.

That said, I don't imagine many of you thought you would read the following words on this blog after the last two nights during which you could have sworn that the Cubs had returned to the days of Ricky Gutierrez, Eric Young and Willie Greene...

THE SEASON IS NOT OVER.

You see, I checked the MLB postseason rule book and it turns out that a team needs THREE victories to win a division series. THREE. I also checked espn.com this morning and it turns out that the Dodgers have only won TWO GAMES (and was absolutely shocked that I did not have to pay to be an "Insider" to gain such information. Who knew?).

So the Cubs lost the first two games of the series...at home. What can I say? It sucks. Does it suck worse than dropping the spirit stick at cheer camp? Yes. Does it suck worse than having to watch Kelly Kapowski date that slimeball manager of The Max? Yes. Does it suck worse that getting caught in the kitchen doing unmentionable things to a pie by your father? Well, no, I do not imagine that it sucks quite that bad. But it does still suck pretty bad.

But the simply truth is that the series is not over. It is going to take a herculean effort no doubt, but I beg everyone to please keep believin' (insert Journey lyrics here). I have to say that I was disgusted leaving Wrigley last night. Disgusted with Cubs' "fans." Shouting obscenities. Booing. Can you imagine what they would have done if Bob Howry had come into pitch. Somebody please call an ambulance.

And if you are one of those people who this morning is walking with your head down, relying all-too-soon on that well-worn mantra "wait til' next year," I take you back to 1984 and I ask you... after getting crushed in the first two games of the NLCS by the North Side, did the San Diego Padres simply fold up their tents? Did they think the series was over? Hell no.

Did Tony Gwynn think it was over? Hell no. He just bellied right back up to the buffet, had an ninth serving of pudding, put on his uniform and rapped out hits for three staight nights. (By the way, is anyone else wondering if he is planning on auditioning for a lead role in a remake of Jake and the Fatman?).

Did Eric Show think it was over? Hell no. He shrugged his shoulders, invited Alan Wiggins and Steve Howe over, picked up his crack pipe, and went about his business.

Did Steve Garvey think it was over? Hell no. He just raised that hairy size XXXXXL forearm of his, smiled his biggest smile, and said "first I am going to tear the hearts out of Cubs' fans everwhere by hitting a 1oth inning home run off Lee Smith and then I going to celebrate by sleeping with Terry Kennedy's wife...and Kevin McReynolds' wife... and Graig Nettles' wife... and, well pretty much all of southern California."

And for those of you who were too busy watching Tron to pay attention to the '84 Cubs (in other words, for those of you who were not insane enough to build a shrine to Bobby D, Ryno, Sarge, the Penguin, and others -- man, it was the coolest thing...it had all my baseball cards, hats, pennants...I should have taken a picture), I ask you to think back to 2003. Did the Florida Marlins think it was over after falling behind 3-1 in the series? Once again, hell no. Jack McKeon simply told Sophia Petrillo that she was going to have to find someone else to take her to the Shady Acres' senior dance on Thursday night because he was going to be busy managing his Marlins in Game Seven. Ugueth Urbina simply told his Venezuelan farm worker friends that they could breathe easy for another week or so, but to be sure to have plenty of gasoline and a large machete on hand when he does return. Josh Beckett simply...man, I frickin' hate Josh Beckett!

By the way, Greg Oden ended up taking Sophia to the dance. But, please do not feel to badly for Jose Contreras who spent the majority of the night drinking mojitos in Little Havana after being rejected by Sophia. It turns out that Blanche showed up at the bar shortly after one o'clock and, well, you know the rest. But I digress.

Anyway, want to know whether this is over? Ask Rich Harden, who was on the wrong end of a 3-2 series loss to the Red Sox in 2003... a series that Harden's A's led 2-0.

The Cubs have now lost eight playoff games in a row! Eight. Well, call Dick Van Patten. Give Willie Aames and Grant Goodeve seats next to Lou in the Cubs dugout. Break Adam Rich out of prison because eight is enough!

All summer everyone ran around saying this is our year. Well, this is still our gosh-darned year! We lived through the Karchner years! We suffered through Rey Sanchez! We cleansed the team of Felix Heredia and Jaime Navarro and Einstein Jones and Stephen Hawking Hairston and Dumb as Shit Gopherball Glendon and Thing One and Thing Two and all the other crap. Dave Wannstedt just called. And you're gosh darned right, Dave. All the frickin' pieces are in place!!!!

So, I implore the team to keep their heads up, go out to the left coach, and get the job done. Wear the Cubbie Blue with pride. Wear it with honor. Wear it with confidence. (Except you, Fukodome, you can leave your uniform at home...).

So is this over? I call on the wisdom of one Senator Bluto Blutarsky to sum up (creative license entirely mine)...

"Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! And it ain't over now! 'Cause when the going gets tough…the tough get going! Who's with me? Let's go!…"

"What the fuck happened to the Cubs I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts? Huh? This could be the greatest comeback of our lives, but you're going to let it be the worst. 'Oh, we're afraid to go with you. We might lose.' Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Torre? He's a dead man. Juan Pierre? Dead! MANNY? DEEEEEAAAAAADDDDD"

I, for one, have no choice but to still believe...

Go CUBS!!!