A Lot of Bull Sh*t

Illinois fell in the polls after their loss to lowly Penn State (oh boy, let's not go down that road again) and Illini fans expressed dismay. Michigan tumbled after getting mauled at Iowa and the Maize Rage expressed concern. Washington slid from the mid-teens into the twenties and Huskies fans expressed anger over their slide -- strike that --Washington slid in the polls and Huskies fans continued complaining about the refs in the Superbowl. All three teams had poor weeks and all three teams paid for their performances in the national rankings. And you know what? Who cares?

Do you know what the AP and ESPN/US Today polls really mean? Absolutely nothing. Over the next five weeks, I am going to spend a lot of time writing about the upcoming Madness and the tournament selection process. One of the first truisms that one has to understand to annoint oneself an ameteur bracketologist is that the polls are irrelevant. I encourage all of you to treat them as you would treat American Idol or post-Wedding Singer Adam Sandler movies...pay them absolutely no attention. Given our upcoming bracketology discussions, I just figured that I would get that out of the way so we can move forward. Okay?

By the way, anyone interested in seconding my nomination of "Maize Rage" as the single dumbest student section moniker in the nation?

Simply stated, the polls are bull sh*t (hey Journalism School taught me the power of a good transition!).

Speaking of bull sh*t (see how nicely that works?), I caught the end of the Bulls game last night and have come to the conclusion that the Bulls are not going to the playoffs this year. I know, I know...there is nothing like stating the obvious. The reasons that the Bulls have taken a step back are pretty clear...lack of post presence, no commitment to defense, inability to get runners home from third with under two outs (hey, pitchers and catchers report in a little over a week...I'm engaging in my own spring training in preparation for a summer's worth of writing that). Unfortunately, last night, pure stupidity entered the equation.

Let's see. Bulls down two with 0.7 seconds remaining. What are our options? Michael Sweetney? Nah. James Thomas. Uh-uh. Ben Gordon? Now why in the heck would we want a guy who has 35 points and is the best shooter on the team taking the shot? I know let's have Gordon in-bound the ball. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

Further, someone please ask Andres Nocioni if time works differently in Argentina. Hey Andres, welcome to the U.S.. I don't know how things work in South America, but here in the States, one cannot catch the ball, pump fake, and shoot in 0.7 seconds. Ask Rich McBride. Unless of course he plays for Charlotte and the timekeeper is a southern Indiana schmoke. In that case, he can even throw in a dribble.

What can I say? Some things just stick with you.

Finally, good for the ACC! I applaud their decision to suspend the three officials that made a bogus technical foul call on Florida State center Alexander Johnson when Johnson was backing away from an angry Shelden Williams. Johnson a key cog in the post for the 'Noles fouled out of the game as a result of the call and was relegated to the bench for the final minutes of FSU's one-point overtime loss to Dick Vitale University (aka Duke). I usually don't like to steal other's material, but Tom's line was too perfect to go without a mention. The Johnson technical foul call is now featured, along with the pathetic no-call on Williams at the end of the Dick Vitale University-Boston College nail-biter earlier last week, on www.dukereplaysofbeneficialcalls.com. Actually, I recently heard that they had to move to a bigger server...too much content.

Illinois. Check. Duke. Check. Purdue. Always. Who will be next?